Is FI getting you a wedding gift?

caitlinc09 · May 2012

Since so many of us are doing b pics, I'm wondering what you are getting (if anything) from FI in return.

Today this came up between FI and I. I've been telling him I've got a great wedding gift and I'm so excited I can hardly wait to give it to him for awhile now, really since my b pics book came in a few weeks ago. Today we were discussing when to give the attendants their gifts, and I told him at the rehearsal dinner is probably best. I also mentioned that at any time during or after the RD when we get a moment alone I'm going to give him his gift. Well he totally flipped and was like "you mean it's not your wedding night lingerie that you've been talking about?! It's something else, like something thoughtful?!"

Uhhhh. Yes...

Boys are clueless sometimes I suppose and I had to laugh. He asked me how much I spent because he wants to get me something in return and when I told him $350 he freaked even more because he couldn't figure out what it could possibly be and was so confused. We also don't start our new jobs until after the wedding so unless he wants to ask his parents to swing it he can't afford to spend that much right now (I chose to spend an early graduation check on it).

So, while there are plenty of things on my list that I'd like as gifts (my birthday is in two weeks so I have one going already) I'm not sure what exactly to tell him.

What are your FIs doing for you? Any ideas on what I should tell him?

MrsLiggett7 · May 2012

Nope, and I'm not getting him one either. Our honeymoon is our gift to each other. Honestly we could have gone on a cheaper honeymoon and saved ourselves a lot of scrimping the past few months, but we felt like we deserved a really nice honeymoon.

So we are going to Hawaii for 6 nights. Neither of us has ever been so we are going to enjoy it. As far as I'm concerned I'm getting a lot of gifts just by getting married;

1. HIM!
2. Seeing him in a tux for the first time ever
3. His face when he sees my gorgeous dress!
4. His last name

5. The opportunity to start TTC (I have a child from a previous {non married} relationship and my rule was no children before we're married.)
6. His insurance lol (I had none until Obama passed his law that says I get to be on my parents until I'm 26)
7. A beautiful Hawaiian vacation just the two of us because my mom is awesome and is watching the little one.
8. One BADASS party with all of our family to celebrate!

Lol. If I didn't have post baby tummy flab ("baby" is almost 4 lol) I would totally have done B pics though! Hmmm...maybe I can convince my photographer to photoshop the hell out of them so I could do it for a birthday present....

mandi921vh · May 2012

We aren't exchanging actual gifts, we talked about it, but nothing is really in the budget right now. I brought up the idea of writing each other letters, but I was just thinking that since we are writing our own vows that kind of counts as a gift (to me anyway) plus technically our wedding bands are gifts too

toothpastechica · May 2012

We agreed not to do give eachother gifts (that the house was our gift to eachother), but FI went out and got something anyways, I was all upset that it made me feel bad I hadnt gotten him anything and I really dont have the money to get anything that would be really wanted. But tonight he told me that he wanted me to open my wedding gift because he doesnt want to take it with us and he wanted me to know what it is before I do any more grocery shopping....ok wierd, but fine. Well my FI is so sweet and when I opened it it was a chest full of tea! Like probably 50 boxes of different teas! My mom has always had a tea drawer, and he used to make fun of it when we first started dating, but then he got to learn how much tea we all drink and he said he wants me to have just as much tea options as I had at my moms place with him. Silly but oh so sweet and thoughtful gift! I love my FI, and I am glad Im off the hook a little bit and can get him something smaller and maybe silly now and not feel bad!

enchantedonyx · May 2012

We had planned and planned to get each other iPads as wedding gifts and then we ended up with an unexpected $1000 catering bill (looooong story) so there went our ipad money. It's fine. We decided we would put it off until we came back from our honeymoon and see what the finances look like after the wedding and honeymoon and go from there. We'll still get our ipads, just not quite as soon as we planned for.

krizzo17 · May 2012

No, I wanted to, but then we ended up buying a house this month, and he's paying for 90% of the wedding as it is. I suppose the rings are technically our gifts, since we bought each others.

sfylstra · May 2012

My wedding band is my gift, lol. Originally we were just going to go with plain bands and then when the time came, I found one with diamonds I really loved. He wasn't crazy about spending the extra money so I told him that since I was getting him a great wedding gift (b-pics) he could get me the band I really wanted as my gift. Since he's not great at gift ideas and never really gets time to go out shopping, I'm sure he won't be getting anything else. I'll just be happy that we're getting married!

mookow86 · May 2012

Honestly I didn't really think we would exchange gifts- until FI wanted to put a Jimmy Buffet Margaritaville blender on the registry, and I said no, that is so tacky, I'll just get it for you as a wedding present. I didn't really expect him to get me anything in return, and I didn't think he was planning on it. Then we started taking dance lessons on a groupon. We had tons of fun and wanted to learn more for our first dance, and he bought a full dance lesson package for me as a wedding present.

So yes, we're getting each other stuff, but we hadn't initially planned it that way.

I'd say, given his financial circumstances, you should probably just let him know that getting married to him is a gift in itself and that you don't need anything. Unless there's something you want that would be affordable, in which case you could hint at it.

FutureMrsW9 · May 2012

He did, but I don't know what it is - it's been sitting in a box in the corner for a couple weeks now haunting me! I THINK it's either a pair of Louboutins or a Burberry bag....not sure, though. He dropped a couple hints that would lead me to believe he went in that direction. I did a b-session for him and bought him a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue! I can't wait to see his reaction!!!

SunshineShades · May 2012

we arent. At least I am not. I asked him once if we were exchanging presents and he hadn't decided. I dont think he has though.
I agree with PP I think getting married is a gift really.

MsAmeera25 · May 2012

I got him a gift so I think he is getting me one, we haven't talked about it.

leahstinson · May 2012

I really wanted him to just get something for us for the honeymoon or plan a day on our honeymoon so I am hoping that is what it is. But if that fails, I have told him how much i love M. Kors bags

MelisMC · May 2012

I'm not expecting anything and am happy with that because he's done more than enough throughout planning. He surprised upgraded my ring to a double wedding band. He's also encouraged me to get all the unnecessary extras to make the wedding how I envisioned - chivari chairs, extra uplights, tons of candles, the bigger centerpiece option, etc.

vineyard12 · May 2012

Nothing as far as I know. I don't expect anything because he's paid for the wedding, plus we're taking dance lessons, and we're going on a great honeymoon to Colorado. I wouldn't even know what to get him anyway. I couldn't afford b-pics, so maybe for our anniversary. I was at the Nissan dealership yesterday getting an oil change and decided to go out to the lot to look at a Pathfinder. I posted a pic of one I liked on FB and my cousin said...that would be a great wedding present! Lol. Like that would happen.

JaimeD727 · May 2012

He's getting me a pair of earrings that he's been wanting to buy for me. When he found out that they would go perfectly with the necklace I'm wearing on the wedding day, he decided to give them to me as a wedding gift.

bpphoto785 · May 2012

I know he got me something, but I don't know what it is yet!

Could you steer your FI towards something more sentimental vs. expensive?

ronik77 · May 2012

Well in all honestly I really didn't get a gift but he did something FOR me. He got a tattoo covered up that I refused to marry him if it wasn't taken care of.

now he has his sons iniitials and birthdate on his arm... instead of his son's mother's name. I got him a new pair of boots.

this may sound strange but this is my 2nd marriage, my ex and I should never have gotten married, but i was 19, that's my excuse. Anyway, i have to admit that the wedding gift he gave me was pretty special. He gave me a set of silver plated makeup brushes. there were like 6 of them all in this nice velvet carry thing. I know they came from the hoity toity jewelry store in town and they probably cost him a bit. After we got divorced I packed them away. I recently passed them on to my niece who just turned 18.

dland0201 · May 2012

I am giving him b-pics but I haven't told him I am giving him anything and I know that he isn't going to think of it on his own and I am okay with that.

AurorasEnvy · May 2012

I read this post this morning and thought "Hmm, I bet FI has no idea that traditionally the bride and groom exchange gifts for the wedding." Turns out I was correct. I did b-pics to give him, so I have no idea what he's planning on getting me and he probably doesn't either seeing as he didn't know until this morning!

Is FI getting you a wedding gift?

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