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This is my third draft and I shortened it. Please review and give me your opinion

Gails1962Gails1962
10 Comments
in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
Walter, as I stand here before you and our friends and family I come to you today not as a young, romantic girl, but as a woman of middle age. My love for you does not make me giddy or silly, rather it brings me deep comfort, as does knowing how much you love me. Though we have been through our ups and downs getting to know each other and learning to accept each other for all our faults I do know one thing for sure and this is, if I had to do it all over again in order to be standing here with you today I would do it over 100 times as I know standing here with you today is the best decision I have ever made in my life. And I am so happy that you asked me to share your life with you. It is so clear to me now that what we have is love in it's purest form and somehow I've been given the gift of knowing that in my lifetime. And I truly want to thank you for giving me that special gift. You have been the most loving, kind, patient man I have ever met. I can't imagine a better match for me, nor could I have dreamed one up. You see me and love me for who I am. You are everything I could ever ask for and more. I know that without a doubt, you are what I have been waiting for and now that we are together, I feel complete. I promise to strive to be for you what you are to me for the rest of our days. I am overjoyed to be your wife. I I'm so happy we've become each other's rock in life. I promise to always take care of you and to make you feel special. I promise to be there to lift your spirits in time of doubt. I promise to be the one to always tell you the truth. I vow to be the best and strongest woman for you. From this day forward, we're in it together, forever. You are the man of my dreams, Walter. I love you more than anything. I can not promise you that there wont be some more ups and downs as we continue to grow, but I will promise to always be by your side from this day forward no matter what life throws at us as I can not imagine now what life would be like without you and our now larger family. So, today, I stand before you vowing to love and respect you as my partner, confidant, and best friend until the end of my days. As I place this ring on your finger, wear it, think of me, and know that I love you.
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Re: This is my third draft and I shortened it. Please review and give me your opinion

  • rikkidawn28rikkidawn28 member
    100 Comments
    My suggestion is to shorten your vows to about 5 lines or so. I would focus on the positive statements such as how kind and patient he is, how you are each other's rock, how confident you are the ideal match for one another, etc.
    I would omit the parts about the ups and downs.

    I think if you would allow the officiant to lead you in the standard vows, then read your own vows to one another. If you chose to do that then you could probably also omit all the "promise" statements.

    It is just a suggestion. Congrats on the upcoming wedding.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    "Though we have been through our ups and downs getting to know each other and learning to accept each other for all our faults I do know one thing for sure and this is, if I had to do it all over again in order to be standing here with you today I would do it over 100 times as I know standing here with you today is the best decision I have ever made in my life."  This part seems a bit drawn out, I would consider revising it.

    "It is so clear to me now that what we have is love in it's purest form and somehow I've been given the gift of knowing that in my lifetime."  The "somehow" throws me off from what I think you're trying to say.

    And I would say "you are" instead of "you have been" in the next part, it kind of makes it sound like a eulogy!

    "now larger families" doesn't seem to fit with the flow of what you're saying at that point.  Would combined families or something along that line work?  When my fiance and I wrote our vows we sat down with a thesaurus to pick just the right word that fit with everything else.

    I'm not sure what your significant other is going to be doing for his vows but you will want to make sure they're similar in length, I think yours could use some shortening!  I looove the beginning though :)
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