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FH ex

stevens111111stevens111111
in Second Weddings
Ok so my FH has children with another women. His children are in the wedding, her and I DO NOT get along at ALL, do I have to invite her to the wedding? She keeps saying she wants to know everything about the wedding, but I don't think she needs so know anything! Do I tell her? Thanks for the help!!!   
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Re: FH ex

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    ichellemay1ichellemay1
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I do not get along with FIs XW either, so I feel your pain.  However, since her children are involved in the wedding - she should probably know more.  I don't think she has to know every little detail, but things that would directly involve her children.  My 2 cents.
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    Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    How old are the kids? My FI has 2 girls, but they are teens. Their mom will know NOTHING about the wedding since I classify her as insane and I classify his kids (19 and 16) to be adults :)

     







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    right1thistimeright1thistime member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    She needs to know as much as your Fi wants her to know.  Controlling her is his problem.  You need to step away and let him handle it.  ~Donna
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    IslandBeachBrideIslandBeachBride member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree..depends on the ages of the kids.  I have kids (17 & 21) with my ex and I refuse to tell him anything of my life -including the wedding, none of his business.  :) My kids haven't said anything to him that I'm aware of...then again, they don't really know either - ahhh, eloping is a blessing!
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    shytownkellyshytownkelly
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Right1 - getting overly worked up about his ex is just going to make you feel like banging your head against a wall.  Let him do that - I mean deal with her. 

    But seriously date, time and attire for the kids would be about all she'd need to know.  Possibly even less. 

    Good luck!
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    MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Depending on the age of the kids and your vistation with them, you may have to tell her time, place and attire.  But all the other posters are correct, she is not yours to deal with - period. 

    My DH has a looney-tune xW and I do not deal with her directly, just with the aftermath when she riles up the DSD (18) or the DH.
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    ABeautifulMindABeautifulMind
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just my opinion, but his exW doesn't need to know anything more than the date the children will be with you (and/or the times you are picking them up/dropping them off- if they are young).  She has no reason to know any of the specifics.  Time, location, and attire are none of her business, nor is anything else. 

    FH's son is 4.  We have provided FH's exW with two month's notice on the weekend we will have him just to be sure she didn't make plans for him that weekend.  That is all we are telling her because that is all she needs to know.  We are taking care of everything on our end b/c #1, we want to and #2, we don't want her involved in any way, shape or form.

    If your FH's exW wants to be overly involved, I guess I'd question what her motives are for knowing all this information.  Just because she is the mother of their children doesn't mean she needs to be part of your wedding day.  However, just as PP stated, this is your FH's responsibility to deal with, not yours.  

    Wishing you stress-free planning!  Good luck with this icky situation.
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    squarepeg72squarepeg72
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I wanted to know as little as possible when my exH married 3 years ago. Our kids were in the wedding but beyond the date of the wedding and when I need to get the kids back from him, I knew nothing about it.

    I have told him the date of my wedding next summer and that the children are involved but that's it. If he wants to know more, he can ask the kids and they are old enough (18, 13, 8) to tell him if they want to.

    Because they are his children and she is his ex, let him handle it. The two of you can talk about how much you want to share, but let the information come from him.
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