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Reception Venue Issue (Vent/rant/whatever)

hsbstonehsbstone
100 Comments
in Second Weddings

How about that? The reception venue has a new event manager that WON'T honor what I had agreed upon with the former one in writing! As a matter of fact, I didn't even was communicated about this new person, and had no idea that she would increase the price, and create a lot of fuss just 25 days before the wedding.
I am so mad that my desire is to cancel everything, leave my lawyer taking care of the issue and go back to Europe for while. I just don't feel having my reception there anymore because I feel outraged with it. It's like she is blackmailing us...

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Re: Reception Venue Issue (Vent/rant/whatever)

  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Have you tried going over her head?
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  • hsbstonehsbstone
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    @ kmmssg - not yet, but I am sure the owners will try to talk to me after my lawyer talk to them!!

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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Hey kmm, long time no see around here.  How have you been?  ~Donna
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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Goodness HB, you sure do have a lot of things that happen in your life.  Perhaps, as the resident Pagan, I could offer you a spell? 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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  • IslandBeachBrideIslandBeachBride member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would most definately go over her head, without even thinking about it.  It's no fault of yours that the event planner left, no fault of yours that there's a new event planner in her place.  If you have a contract in writing - even a proposal and it's signed by you & the planner - there isn't much the new planner can do.

    I used to work in the sales & catering industry - go over her head - I'm telling you this because event planners change venues/companies they work for like we change our panties.  Seriously - they come & go at the drop of a hat. She is flexing or trying to flex her power.  Go to the owner and do not think twice about doing so.  Most venues dont like negative word of mouth - it can really hurt their business because brides talk! LOL!!! 

    I would also bring up that you, as a CLIENT wasn't even made aware of tte change - what kind of business practice is that? 

    When we had event planners leave - they had to send out a mass email to all their clients informing them of the departure and who their new contact would be.  Depending on the size of the venue either this should have been the owners, sales directors or event planners responsibility.    Grrr - I'm fuming about this.   This is the exact reason why event planners (even the good ones get a bad rap - because of crap like this. ) 

    OK - off my soapbox.  :)  Go over her head ASAP!!  Call tonite & leave a vmail if you have to & continue to call till you get a face to face with the owner.
    Created by Wedding Favors
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  • hsbstonehsbstone
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    @ handfast4me - it is just to make me learn that I never should go for a wedding in a city that's about the same size of the community I live in because they have no idea how to be professionals at all. Can you believe that just because I asked if I could have a gloved plated dinner, they felt insulted??? Welcome to the middle of nowhere!! Why didn't I choose Laco di Como instead????
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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Handfast's offer seems like a good one.  You seem to have some bad juju around you.  I think a spell is just what the doctor ordered!
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  • hsbstonehsbstone
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    @ right1thistime - if I was not a Christian I would take it seriously, but I know that the enemy is around trying to kill, steal and destroy; the good news is that God is in control!!! Innocent
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  • hsbstonehsbstone
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    @ islandbeachbride - FI doesn't want to take any legal measures before the wedding; he just don't want to ruin things even more creating a more difficult  atmosphere around the wedding. So I agreed with him to just take action afterwards .
    I just found out about the event planner change because I called them to book the sampling. I don't blame the former manager, once she was out of the company already, but the new one; once she is now in charge, she should be the one contacting me. and especially honoring what had been agreed upon.
    The money difference is an issue, but what really pissed me off was not honoring what had been agreed upon and the timing - just 25 days from the wedding!
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_reception-venue-issue-ventrantwhatever?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:164fa7b1-a6d0-406c-801c-84876bf74665Post:7ca70808-bce1-4e1d-8cda-c3ee269f28e2">Re: Reception Venue Issue (Vent/rant/whatever)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey kmm, long time no see around here.  How have you been?  ~Donna
    Posted by right1thistime[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, I was out of the net for about a year.  Tough one on the family but everyone is healthy, employed, and breathing.  I really missed TK and the knotties!
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  • awayagainawayagain member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Maybe God is throwing up all these roadblocks so you won't marry beneath you.  Prince Albert of Monaco isn't married quite yet.  How would you feel about living in a palace as his beard?   Then you could have your gloved plated dinner in your original couture gown at a Lake Como reception with many, many dignitaries and no risk of anyone wearing overalls and wanting to dance the Cotton Eyed Joe.
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  • hsbstonehsbstone
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    @ awayagain - I really hope you are joking. Otherwise your comment would be extremely unnecessary and hurtful. I shared my problems with the ladies here  looking for some support  - and I'd like to add that I always get it - when I face problems and not to be joked around. I don't think that this particular board is about kidding with each others difficult situations, but about supporting, encouraging and giving suggestions to each other. That what this particular board is about!
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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    So, wait. I offer you something and instead you insult my beliefs?  Ah yes, once again that misinformation about us Pagans being devil worshippers rears it's ugly head.  
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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  • hsbstonehsbstone
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    @ handfast4me - I didn't say a thing against your beliefs, just that yours and mine are different. You believe in spells, I believe in prayers. In any moment I said that your beliefs are devil.
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  • awayagainawayagain member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
     but I know that the enemy is around trying to kill, steal and destroy; the good news is that God is in control!!!

    I don't know - I  took that as a "You Pagans are devil worshippers"

    Helena - chill.....surely you realize that in the big scheme of things this problem is a relatively small one.
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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    Stone – I hope you “hear” this in the tone it is intended.  It’s hard to impart emotion in the written word, sometimes. 

    I think you need to take a good hard look at your own motivations.  Based on your own statements, you are marrying a man from a simple, rural background.  Rather than get married in Europe or in a metropolitan area, he wants to get married in that setting.  I am not sure if he feels that way because he wants you to see him for who he is, or he wants to reassure himself that you will fit into this part of his life, or he wants to show you off.  You chose a couture dress, he told you it was not appropriate for that setting.   Now you are asking for a gloved plated meal.  How many gloved plated meals do you think his friends and family back home have ever attended?   Do you want them to be comfortable?  Or are you trying to intimidate them, and show them up to be the hayseeds you think they are?  Do you think they will be able to tell the difference between their consommé and their finger bowl? 

    I am fortunate to have made the acquaintance of someone in the US foreign service, and if there is anything I learned from him, it is that those in the diplomatic service learn to blend in.  If there’s a formal state dinner with the royal family, they know which fork to use for their fish.  If there’s a hog calling contest, they know how to holler their best ‘suuuuuuueeeeeee”!   The multitudes of complaints that you have made just serve to point out that you are NOT like his family.  I don't think anyone is going to mistake you for a farmer from Iowa.  But I would think you would like them to see you as a wise and gracious hostess.  A wise and gracious hostess doesn't work so hard to be better than her guests. 

    You have chosen to blend too very different worlds.  That is not an easy task.  In my personal and humble opinion, you are going about it the wrong way. 

    Finally, every time you post, it’s a tragedy.  Maybe it’s the translation.  In learning to interview, I was taught to express positive traits in the answer to my weaknesses.  I think you do that sometimes.  You express a 36 pound weight loss as a bad thing, but I think you just wanted to gloat.  Perhaps your Christian background taught you that pride is a sin?  I’d rather you were honest about being proud than to have you post as if it were a horrible situation to be in.  Same thing with the issue with the dinner and the dress.  Again, my personal opinion.  That's why I think I have the reaction that I have to you.  ~Donna
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  • hsbstonehsbstone
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    @ right1thistime - you may be very right in the first part of your message. I am not trying to make them uncomfortable, but instead trying to offer the best I could offer to the guests as I've been taught.  -  As you've said I am trying to blend two opposite worlds and even though this is a very difficult task, I I have been very successful for almost 6 years so far, that's why we are getting married...because we had been able to work our differences out.

    Losing the weight was great once I went back to my normal size, but it brought a new problem - my dress size. THAT is what I was calling a problem! And because I have a problem due to the weight loss, it doesn't mean that I am not happy with this. And despite of being thinner  and happy with this, I still have a problem to solve and I am running out of time and definitively not happy at all with it.That was the character of my post and not being unhappy because I am back to my regular weight since my accident.

    My Christian background taught me that pride and be judgemental about others are both sins. It taught me also forgiveness and overcoming bad with good, and that's the way I try to live my life. 
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I must have missed something.  I thought your FSIL was making the arrangements.  And, if you have a contract (not a proposal) signed by all parties I don't see how a new event manager can come in and just change the agreement.  Something is missing here. Talk to the owner.

    ETA:  I just read all of the other posts ... sheesh!  So much drama, so little time.
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