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Snarky Brides

Venting/wedding description...warning long post

Hello everyone, I just need to vent a little bit about the wedding stuff and I figured you girls (and maybe guys) would understand. I officially got engaged in October and I am so excited to start planning the wedding. My fiance and I are not traditional and we have had the marriage talk before. Both of us are on the same page, we fit together in every way and we work together as a team. I never thought we would make it "official" for a while but on halloween we were talking and decided to make it official. 
Due to finances and both of us living with out parents, we decided to have our wedding sometime in January 2015. Both of us are working and have other bills to take care of so I figured we could save enough in 2 years to have the wedding we both want. The budget we both discussed is $5,000 for everything and I know it can be done. There is a lovely venue close to my house that just has a very reasonable catering minimum and a private space. The food is excellent and the builiding is old so decorating will be easy. 
So far I already have a theme down and a color scheme. It will be a winter theme wedding and so far I have almost half of the reception table decorations. I know it's still early for some of that but I found some really good sales and couldn't pass them up. I decided to make paper flowers for the reception and ceremony decorations. I found some really easy paper punches that you can just roll and unfold and they look gorgeous. I plan to use the paper flowers in old wine/liquor bottles. I'm not a very good crafter but i've seen some gorgoues ideas on some diy projects and I know with practice (and help from my crafty mom and fiancee) I'll be able to get it done, especially if I have 2 or more years to do it,
My vent at the moment is my wedding might have to be pushed back until 2016 or maybe later. Brandon and both work for companies in the same union. At the moment our union is trying to negoiate a new contract and at the moment the companies we work for are not putting anything on the table and therefore his company might move to strike. If the strike happens at his store then he will be on the picket line and while he is on the picket line he won't be getting any income. I know our wedding will happen, i've just had my heart set on 2015 and I was looking forward to booking the venue later this year. I know a wedding is not a marriage, the marriage is the important part and if I didn't care about the party I would say let'd go to the courthouse. But I have always wanted to have a nice party with friends and family and I really want to go shopping for a wedding dress so if we have to wait another year I will handle it. I know my post is extremly long and I probably didn't need to add a lot of the details but I just needed to get it out. I've been reading these boards for a while and i've found a lot of great advice so thank you all for that. And thank you for letting me vent and get this out of my system. Thank you for letting me post this ridiculously long post and best wishes to all you other upcoming brides. 

Re: Venting/wedding description...warning long post

  • I saw all the spelling and grammatical errors in my post, I apologize for those. I am on some medication right now so my brain is apparently on vacation. 
  • I'm sorry! Here's hoping the strike won't happen so you can save for your wedding!
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  • If you're willing to wait 3 years, wait. I wouldn't. I would elope or do a courthouse wedding in lieu of waiting 3 years. Then again, your post sounds more like you want the party and shopping, not the being married part (in the immediate future). So...
  • I feel your frustration! Doesn't it suck that in our economy we have to put things like our weddings on the back burner just to make ends meet?  
    I understand where you are coming from, if you guys are already living together you basically already have the 'marriage', so the 'wedding' is what you are focusing on... it doesn't make your marriage any less important that you are excited about having a wedding.
    I'm having a hard time understanding the comments above, if the only thing a bride should be worried about is the 'marriage' then this website wouldn't even exist because everyone would just have a tiny quiet church or courthouse wedding or elopement and no reception.
    OF COURSE you care about the party! There's no shame in that! :)

    Bride To Be AND Wedding Photographer I live and breathe weddings! Firefly Photography by Cassie Tate www.wix.com/fireflypix/cassie-tate
  • We had a 7 month engagement because I/we couldn't stand to wait too long to be married. We had a GREAT wedding with family and friends, and we could have spent more money if we waited and saved... but I just wanted to be married more than anything.
    I guess I can't relate, because there just isn't any way I would have waited 3 years to be married. I love being married.

    Good luck, and I truly hope the union doesn't mess up your plans. H works for a union and I know how hard it can be sometimes.
  • I personally would not want to wait 3 years. I wouldn't want to wait 2 years, but that's just how I feel. I never wanted a long engagement. I can understand waiting though to save up to do what you really want. I'm sorry for your frustration. 

    If it were me, I'd elope, or have a very small intimate ceremony and then treat the people who attended to a nice dinner. I'd then go on a short honeymoon to save money, but still have a nice honeymoon. If you want the big party, you could save up and have a 5 year anniversary party. I had the big wedding with the big white dress, but if it came down to waiting 3 years to do that, I'd change my plans. 
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  • In Response to Re: Venting/wedding description...warning long post:
    [QUOTE]. I had the big wedding with the big white dress, but if it came down to waiting 3 years to do that, I'd change my plans. 
    Posted by B2Z728[/QUOTE]

    I completely agree with this.
  • I got from it that they're waiting until they're in better financial shape. Which seems wise. 

    But still, 3 years is a long time. I'd advise against doing a whole lot of DIY now. I got DIY happy way too early, and ended up changing my mind, losing stuff, or stuff got ruined while it sat in storage waiting to be used. 
  • I also wouldn't want to wait 3 years, but I say that because of my age.  I was 31 when H proposed.  I would've gotten married at a courthouse the next day if I had my way.  But we did the formal wedding thing.  

    We saved every penny we could every month from the time we got engaged until the day of our wedding.  One thing we had counted on was our tax refunds.  H got about the same amount as he usually does.  But something had gotten screwed up with my employer and I ended up getting $20 - MUCH less than what I was expecting (and counting on for the wedding).  We were able to cut back on spending in a few areas and we made it work.  So, even if the strike does happen, can you move some things around financially and make it work?

    Good luck!  Hope everything works out for you!
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  • What a frustrating situation.  Good for you though for wanting to be financially responsible and not go into debt. 
    Here are some ideas that might help with your budget:
    -Ask if having a January wedding offers a discount
    -Consider a Friday wedding if they have a discount for that
    -Since the venue is close, maybe even look into gettting a part time job there if that offers any kind of employee discount (and save extra money with the part time job)

  • I hope the jobs are saved! But I agree with the PPs if ur willing to wait 3 yrs what's another year? Ask yourself what's most important. In all were going to have an 18 month engagement mostly bc we knew I needed to get estabished in my job a d we needed to save. Eloping has crossed our minds alot bc the ultimate goal here is being married!
  • You can always elope then do a renewal once you got more stability in your finances.

    You can also save little by little, each week. If you and your fiancé put down 25$ each week until your wedding, you'll almost have the 5000$ you need for the wedding.

    25$ a week can be a part-time job, it can be not eating out so often anymore, doing a few extra hours at work if that's allowed.

    Hope that helps.
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  • I will have been engaged for 3 years by the time I get married in June.  I did not want to plan a wedding while I was in Nursing school, so we waited.  Then he got called to do some training and seminars for his employer, so it got pushed back again.  We would have eloped, but our family being present was important to us, so we waited.  Find out where your priorities lie and go from there.  Three years is unbearably long, but it is doable (also, I haven't been too stressed with planning, just do it a little at a time).  HOWEVER, one word of advice, do not plan your wedding yet!  You will change your mind before the big day.  I didn't start planning until around a 1.5 years ago, I didn't book or buy anything until about 8 months ago.  I got ideas, inspiration, quotes, etc....but didn't book.  Goodluck!

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    June 1, 2013 - finally making it official!

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