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Did not register

EmmiewEmmiew
100 Comments
in New Jersey

And I should have?  I've been stuck on this since the beginning, so I ignored it.  Now, of course, the inevitable is happening and people are asking where I'm registered.  The answer is nowhere.

What do I do about this? Is there a standard, polite way to say that I'm not registered?  We're a second marriage, and need nothing.  But I know now that people will ask.  I found the whole subject incredibly uncomfortable from the get-go and now I don't know what to do.  Help, ladies?

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Re: Did not register

  • sgdc2011sgdc2011 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You just say you have decided not to register anywhere.

    Just a thought, you say you don't NEED anything... but unless things are brand new, you can always "upgrade" :). 
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  • Laurms15Laurms15 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You can always say that you didn't register because the gift is their attendance.
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  • kasabbykasabby
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I would just be honest and say that you aren't registered. I don't think it is that big of a deal.
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  • vjt730vjt730
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    are you having a shower? or are they trying to buy you wedding gifts?.. if your having a second shower you might as well start a small registry ..

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  • Danes983Danes983 member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Agree with above.  I wasnt thrilled about registering, but the more I thought about it I would end up with a bunch of crap I dont want. So I did a BB&B which took about an 2 hours to get everything and a honeymoon registery.  In your case maybe check out that one, you dont have to go anywhere and pick anything out.  Just tell your travel agent and they should be able to help you.
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  • cutiepie12702cutiepie12702
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree on the shower issue, if someone is trying to throw you a shower people will want to know what sort of items you would like. They don't have to be items you need, but they can be items you want or things you already have but could upgrade and start fresh with since you are starting a new life afterall! If you are sure that you won't be having a shower and that's why you don't want to register, then don't register. It really is up to you, but guests are thankful when you take the guessing work out of what to get you. It's probably better to get something you actually liked/picked out, than a gift you graciously accept but dislike/have no use for.
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  • kwilkinson14kwilkinson14
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would just suggest a small one. I would hate to get a gift and it be something that they did not like. I do like the HM registry. You can get to do excursions or other things on your HM. That might be a nice alternative.
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  • viviannacviviannac member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Kwilkinson14. 
    FI and I have lived together for a few years and we registered at BBB and Crate and Barrel for things we need to replace or upgrade. 
    Anniversary
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  • uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am guessing you aren't having a shower because it is a second wedding?

    I would probably start some sort of registry, even if it is a small one.  Even if most people give you cash gifts, there will be some people who want to give you real gifts (I would think particularly for a second wedding).  If you don't register, you may end up with a lot of vases that aren't your style.  And honestly, as someone who likes to give physical gifts it drives me crazy when people don't register, and it makes me assume that the people just want me to pay them back for what they spent on the wedding, which I kind of see as rude.  (Not sure if this is a coincidence, but the weddings I've been invited to with no registries have been ridiculous etiquette sh-t shows.)  I'm sure a lot of people will give you money if that's what you want, but I'd at least have some sort of answer besides "money" if people ask you or your family members if there's anything in particular you'd like as a wedding gift.

    I wouldn't do a honeymoon registry as your only registry -- that's essentially registering for cash, so I don't see how that would make more traditional people feel any better about things.  Might as well just register at Rainfall of Envelopes in that case.
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  • leah2bleah2b member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I like the honeymoon registry idea.  I didn't do one, but I really don't see a problem with it.  Personally, I would rather contribute some $$ towards an awesome honeymoon than buy a food processor or whatever.

    You could also register for a charity.

    Or a small registry as other posters suggested.  Maybe new sheets, towels, things like that. 
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Ditto about "you being at our wedding is all we want."

    However, I agree with those who said to maybe put together a small registry with bed linens and towels, just because there are some people who will always want to buy you something, so you may as well get something you want/need. Rather than, like, a scary painted china clown statue or something.
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