May 2013 Weddings

Help! I need to downsize my wedding party!

Our original plan was to have a small ceremony with a small wedding party - 4 bridesmaids/groomsmen and my daughter as a junior bridesmaid. One night, Brett got drunk and asked a friend who wasn't in the original four to be a groomsman. This resulted in 3 more sets of attendants. The venue is very small, and I am startign to get very overwhelmed with the prospect of a large wedding party. How do I "unask" some people without hurting their feelings? Oh, the wedding is May 25. Thanks!

Re: Help! I need to downsize my wedding party!

  • First things first- you don't "unask" people unless you want your relationship with them to be ruined forever. Second- How does asking one person result in 3 more sets of attendants? I guess I'm confused.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_help-i-need-to-downsize-my-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:05183566-3465-4ab8-abf4-bacc6ac1c038Post:5bf8b553-6be8-4534-803c-9f5602ef27d8">Re: Help! I need to downsize my wedding party!</a>:
    [QUOTE]First things first- you don't "unask" people unless you want your relationship with them to be ruined forever. Second- How does asking one person result in 3 more sets of attendants? I guess I'm confused.
    Posted by Carson386[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>This.

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  • edited December 2012
    There is no way to do this without hurting their feelings. That's pretty crappy of you, honestly. You shouldn't have asked more people to be bridesmaids to even it up on your FI's side. When you post the same post on a different board please mark it with an XP for cross post.
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  • The only way to "unask" is to be straight up, but know that feelings will be hurt, and you're breaking etiquette. If you absolutely have to do it, including them in some other way (usher, reader, greeter, etc) may be a nice gesture, but they may be angry and not want to be included in that way. Perhaps another option is to do away with the wedding party all-together and just have your daughter; at least that way you're not picking and choosing.

    Good luck.
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  • Yeeeahhh, there's pretty much no way you can do this without hurting feelings or looking like a gigantic biotch. You and FI made the bed, and you have to lie in it.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_help-i-need-to-downsize-my-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:05183566-3465-4ab8-abf4-bacc6ac1c038Post:5bf8b553-6be8-4534-803c-9f5602ef27d8">Re: Help! I need to downsize my wedding party!</a>:
    [QUOTE]First things first- you don't "unask" people unless you want your relationship with them to be ruined forever. Second- How does asking one person result in 3 more sets of attendants? I guess I'm confused.
    Posted by Carson386[/QUOTE]

    <div>All of this.</div>



  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_help-i-need-to-downsize-my-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:05183566-3465-4ab8-abf4-bacc6ac1c038Post:5bf8b553-6be8-4534-803c-9f5602ef27d8">Re: Help! I need to downsize my wedding party!</a>:
    [QUOTE]First things first- you don't "unask" people unless you want your relationship with them to be ruined forever. Second- How does asking one person result in 3 more sets of attendants? I guess I'm confused.
    Posted by Carson386[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>This.</div>
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  • Put yourself in their place: how would you feel if someone did that to you? Unless you're prepared to ruin a relationship forever, you're going to have to bite the bullet and make things work.
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