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Different Idea

erinmoore4erinmoore4 member
10 Comments
in Favors
My FI and I want to donate the money that we would have spent on favors to a local Military charity, since we are both active duty. However, my mom thinks that this idea is crazy and that our guests will be offended if we don't provide something for them to take home. To compromise, I told her that we would print up cards saying that "Instead of favors a donation in your name was made to ___ Charity." Can y'all help me out? Am  I way off base in thinking tangible favors are not required anymore? Or do people still expect them? Thank you!!
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Re: Different Idea

  • ivyrose13ivyrose13 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Check out the sticky note on the top of this message board about favors. A lot of ladies here are opposed to the idea. 

    Basically, favors are not required, the reception is your way of thanking your guests for sharing your day. If you want to make a donation, do it, but you don't have to put out cards saying in lieu of favors. Your guests will not get any benefit out of you making a donation, so you aren't actually doing them a favor. HTH.


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  • jeanna85jeanna85 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_different-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:4d15c89b-7f24-44a6-9f5d-d3a8747f205fPost:aa6dc085-e8e7-46cb-8f49-d435fe7640e9">Different Idea</a>:
    [QUOTE]My FI and I want to donate the money that we would have spent on favors to a local Military charity, since we are both active duty. However, my mom thinks that this idea is crazy and t<strong>hat our guests will be offended if we don't provide something for them to take home. To compromise, I told her that we would print up cards saying that "Instead of favors a donation in your name was made to ___ Charity.</strong>" Can y'all help me out? Am  I way off base in thinking tangible favors are not required anymore? Or do people still expect them? Thank you!!
    Posted by erinmoore4[/QUOTE]

    Besides the inherent issues with charity donations (like how its not a favor to the guest and you should donate privately without drawing attention to yourself), I see a bigger problem here. Are you actually making a donation in each <strong>guests name</strong>? Like if you're having 150 guests, making 150 different donations? If not, you're not being truthful to your guests.
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  • marissa_clairemarissa_claire member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yep, you need to read the sticky at the top of the favors board. 

    My persuasion on donations as favors is that they should be a gift for your guests.  That means, IMO, you should be making 150 donations to charities that are near and dear to each guest's heart.  Otherwise, you're doing it for yourself and it's not a gift for them.  I'm not against donations.  I donate a lot myself.  But don't make a donation to a charity you support and call it a favor to your guests - because it's not.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I wrote part of the sticky above.  Please read it.  Donations are not in any way, shape, or form a favor for your guests.  I get that they are "in lieu" of favors, but then why not make them "in lieu" of something that would be a sacrifice for you and not your guests? 

    And you don't need to announce your charitable donation.  Make the donation.  Skip the announcing it.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • AJ&chs4everAJ&chs4ever
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    do what you want its your wedding! I think that its a heartfelt idea and people might actually appriciate a donation to a particular charity, rather than a dinky favor they are just going to toss in the backseat on there way home and not give a second thought about.
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  • AmisslisAmisslis
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Although I do not believe that favors are required, I think that donating to charity in your guests' names can be a bit sticky. Just because a charity is near and dear to you does not mean that all of your guests share that view. I for one would be a bit annoyed if a donation was made in my name to a charity that I do not agree with or support. If you want to donate to a particular charity, then you can do so without making it a part of your wedding or shouting to the world that you have done so.
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