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Confused need help/advice

munieca0204munieca0204 member
Third Anniversary 10 Comments
in Catholic Weddings
Ok so a little background I am a catholic and have done all my sacraments.  My FI has not done any sacramanets he believes in the catholic wayss but never did any sacraments.

   We have a first time meeting with the priest on Tuesday.  Im curious as to what they ask and what will my FI have to do... does he have to do  a series of classes or a one time class for baptism communion and confirmation?
  And this pre cana... whats this all about can i do this class by class vs a weekend retreat
? Is a weekend retret necessary.

Thanks in advance knotties
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Re: Confused need help/advice

  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited January 2013
    Your fiance doesn't have to convert to marry you. If he wants to, that's wonderful. That is a completely separate process though called RCIA. It usually begins in the fall, and everyone receives their sacraments on Easter Vigil.

    Marriage prep is a totally different process and it depends on your diocesan requirements. The first meeting with the priest is to do your pre-marital investigation (make sure you are both free to marry) and gather paperwork like baptismal certificates. You may take the foccus inventory. (a lot of questions to see what subjects you have talked about already with fi).

    Then the prep process usually has a few choices. Some are meeting with a couple several times, some are classes, some have the weekend retreat. My diocese offers everything. It depends on your diocese and what your priest requires.
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  • bibliophile2010bibliophile2010 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    I agree with everything Carrie said. I'd also add that I encourage everyone to take a full course on NFP whether you are required to or not! :)
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  • pittpoint1119pittpoint1119 member
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    edited January 2013
    What is a full course in NFP? When we did our marriage class there was like 50 couples in a huge catholic high school cafeteria. we seem to speed throuh everything because more than half were not catholic. I was alittle disappointed,but FI liked it since he isn't catholic. I am really unsure of NFP as FI and I are really not even sure if we want to have children. Also many of my friends who have gotten married already have said they decided not too go the NFP route. Did you take this course on online, was there a reading somewhere you can find, or physically talk to someone. ANy advice would be great.
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  • Tami87Tami87 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_confused-need-helpadvice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:2e134f01-866e-4d2d-8570-02212b916174Post:da2b0eda-6ae7-485a-a1da-9d11006f1d70">Re: Confused need help/advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]What is a full course in NFP? When we did our marriage class there was like 50 couples in a huge catholic high school cafeteria. we seem to speed throuh everything because more than half were not catholic. I was alittle disappointed,but FI liked it since he isn't catholic. I am really unsure of NFP as FI and I are really not even sure if we want to have children. Also many of my friends who have gotten married already have said they decided not too go the NFP route. Did you take this course on online, was there a reading somewhere you can find, or physically talk to someone. ANy advice would be great.
    Posted by pittpoint1119[/QUOTE]

    There are a couple of methods of NFP to chose from. We did the couple to couple league sympto-thermal method of NFP and there is an option to take classes in person or online. There website for more info - <a href="http://www.ccli.org/" rel="nofollow">http://www.ccli.org/</a>

    Some other ladies on this board can tell you more about mucus only methods such as Creighton or Billings.

    I also read Taking Charge of Your Fertility (<a href="http://www.tcoyf.com/)," rel="nofollow">http://www.tcoyf.com/),</a> which I highly recommend because it does a great job of explaining the science behind the method. I was a little skeptical of using NFP at first but I am so glad I looked into it with an open mind. We have successfully using NFP to avoid for 6 months now (Just got insurance that actually covers pre-natal care, yay!) and I highly recommend you look into it and think about taking a class.
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  • bibliophile2010bibliophile2010 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    I always recommend a full course of NFP because 1) it is the only moral way (besides full-on abstinence) to prevent/space the birth of children, 2)  NFP is awesome, and 3) not enough places require the full course.

    I say a full course, because some diocese offer/require introductory sessions that include some of the "why," but not much of the how. I isn't enough to learn a method or troubleshoot your charting. PP gave some good info on STM NFP. I am Creighton user and love it! I love not having to temp and I love that it helps diagnose and treat reproductive health issues by actally treating the body, not masking symptoms.

    You might want to check out The Good News about Sex and Marriage by Christopher West for more info on  the whys, and  Taking Charge of Your Fertility for a secular/scientific take on how/that it works.
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  • meltoinemeltoine member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments First Answer
    OP, I just want to point out that you really need to get a handle n your attitudes about children. During your ceremony, the priest will ask you if you will accept children lovingly from God and raise them in the faith. If you can't honestly answer this with a "yes", you can't be married in the Catholic church. From a practical standpoint, it's an important issue to decide before you get married so you both know what to expect. Disagreement in this area is also a leading cause of divorce. Imagine, 5-6 years from now, you and your H sit down to talk about having kids and he says, "I just really don't want any kids ever" while you've been thinking, "I think I'd really like to have a child in the next year or two". Many, many people who don't settle this issue before marriage end up divorcing to find a partner whose desires for children are in harmony with their own. Please, have a serious talk about this and decide before you go any further.
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited January 2013
    NFP is more effective at avoiding pregnancy than any kind of artificial birth control. It also is an awesome way to track health. I have found numerous issues by charting that I wouldn't have known about otherwise that could have turned into serious problem.

    ALL hormonal birth control has the potential to be abortive, and is seriously harmful to the body. They are a group 1 carcinogen. 
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  • professorscienceprofessorscience member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Pittpoint, I learned Billings method in a 4-lesson session.  Like Biblio said, the first class was more of an "introductory" course and that was all that was required for the church where we took the class.  In fact, we were the only couple that stayed after the introduction.

    OP, all the girls here have given you great advice!  There are some pre-marriage sessions that don't require a whole weekend, but we really enjoyed our weekend.  There wasn't a whole lot we discussed that was "new" to us, but it was still nice to get together for a whole weekend and just talk about our life after the wedding.  =)
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  • munieca0204munieca0204 member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments
    THanks everyone for your advice i will be seeing the priest tomorrow so we will see how it goes
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  • munieca0204munieca0204 member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments
    Im happy to report that all went well.  But since i am marrying a non baptized person the priest has to ssend a paper to the bishop to ok the marriage or something along those lines. But it was a positive meeting thanks everyone for your adive
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  • professorscienceprofessorscience member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Yes, if he's unbaptized you need a dispensation to marry him.  I've never heard of it being a problem to get one.
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