+1 question......

Re: +1 question......

• shan87

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  Here is what I would do.... and want we did.
  
  Friends got +1
  
  Adult cousin's/family members on both side are only getting a +1 if they are married/engaged ETA and significant relationship (none of them have been in long term relationships expect my sister and they have a child together so obviously he is getting an invite) 
  
  Our reasoning behind friends is that some are traveling and FI and I have our own friends set that have never met. So its more of a comfort so they know some people.
  
  Family has family and don't need a friend to be comfortable.
  
  Flame away if you must

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• SSaltzman87 member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  I'd say that the family members get a +1 if they have a S/O. Friends I would say go on a case by case basis. If the friends all know each other, then I don't think it would be necessary to give them all +1s.
  
  Although, I'd keep in mind that every single person that you'd give a +1 may not end up bringing a guest-I guess the thought is more important than the action, if that makes sense!?

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• maybe984 member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  I think some etiquette fiends would tell you EVERYONE should be allowed a +1, but having been in a sorority in college, I have seen this very situation handled a number of ways, and I think some are more tactful than others... but in no way do I think you are required to add +1s for people that do not have a committed relationship if they are a group THAT large that all know eachother.
  
  Would it be possible for your FI to send emails or call them all and find out whether they would even want to bring a date? Assuming you don't have their addresses, this could even be part of asking them for their address.
  
  I remember one of my sorority sisters that got married while we were still in college and she sent out a mass email saying "If you want to come to the wedding, send me your address. If you don't, don't. If you have a significant significant other that you intend on bringing, let me know that as well." It was worded a little more tactfully than that, and I actually really valued her honesty. It was less offensive than the time I was not allowed to bring my boyfriend of 6 years (now DH) because a couple had a strict "FI or Spouse Only" rule for +1s.
  
  Since I'm now more than a few years out of college, it was easier for me to pick and choose from my sorority sisters (without hurting any feelings) and I knew more concretely who had a boyfriend/FI/husband so I didn't have to do anything like that... but if I had been inviting more of them, I probably would have done the same thing.

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• emilykathleen511

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  Anyone in an established relationship should get a +1. That means that anyone who they themselves would describe themselves as "in a relationship" should get to bring their significant other. It doesn't matter if YOU think it's serious, it matters whether that person does.

  
  
  

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• EmilyW416 member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  If its been a significant amount of time or if they don't know anyone I say plus one! If not you can cut it down.

  

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• Steph0871

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  You don't HAVE to invite all the single guests with a +1, but make sure anyone in a relationship (of any kind) is given a guest on the invite.

  
  

  We were in a similar situation... we sucked it up and invited everyone with a +1.  We assumed (correctly) that they woudl come in groups together anyway.  But we did get a lot of comments on how nice it was to be invited.  Quite a few said "it's like we were real adults finally!" haha.  As someone right out of college, I totally understood what they meant  

  
  

  So, really, it's up to you.  But if you invite one single guest with +1, you should do it for the rest of your single guests. 

  
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• tpender13 member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_1-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:7f19269a-c166-4ec9-9338-9df989b547a2Post:f06587b8-daee-47fa-91a4-0a86bd4fe7f1">Re: +1 question......</a>:
  [QUOTE]<strong>I'd say that the family members get a +1 if they have a S/O.</strong> Friends I would say go on a case by case basis. If the friends all know each other, then I don't think it would be necessary to give them all +1s. Although, I'd keep in mind that every single person that you'd give a +1 may not end up bringing a guest-I guess the thought is more important than the action, if that makes sense!?
  Posted by SSaltzman87[/QUOTE]
  
  In that case, you're not really giving them a +1, you're inviting a specific person -- your guest's SO.
  
  OP, I would say that if you can call/email/Facebook these people to find out if they're in a relationship and get the name of their SO, then they should be invited. If you've got a single friend that isn't travelling a long way and will know other people at the wedding, I don't think you need to give them a +1.

  

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