Ok moms, I need your help!

Britt1893 · December 2011

i love my future mother in law, I just wish she took the time to hang out with me, and get to know me a bit better. She did it with her daughter in law. why not me?

zitiqueen · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_ok-moms-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:9420a8b3-5961-4562-b145-8495267d696bPost:e09ecf5f-7fdb-4565-b435-cb4c2e71e1bb">Ok moms, I need your help!</a>:
[QUOTE]My future mother in law is hit and miss. She has another daughter in law. We are completely different, she makes it obvious that she favors the daughter in law rather than the future daughter in law. Each time I text her, shes short. Christmas was nice, she told me that she loved me like a daughter. However, I find it hard to believe considering I've invited her out many times for hair appointments, pedicures, and even lunch. I just feel like I am not ever going to be good enough for her approval. Actions speak louder than words and her actions don't show that she is fond of me.
Posted by Britt1893[/QUOTE]

Each time you text her, she's short? Have you tried picking up the phone and actually <em>speaking</em> to her?

RaptorSLH · December 2011

Not every relationship is the same. Not everyone will "click." Not everyone enjoys the same kind of activities, either. Unless she's actually being rude to you, or trying to sabotage the relationship, the best thing s to just keep being polite. If she is doing that, then your FI needs to have a serious talk with her.

Even blood daughters connect differently with genetic mom when their personalities are different. So don't be so quick to dismiss her words as a lie on the evidence you've given.

Elinetrouwt · December 2011

You say she already has a DIL, maybe your FSIL just has been around a bit longer, and therefore they have a stronger bond? That would seem natural. Some people hate texting (including me). Why would she say things like that if she doesn't mean it? Keep inviting her, try to think of things she likes. Give it some time. These things don't come naturally, but they will in the end.

MairePoppy · December 2011

I'm a mom. I doubt that your FMIL would have told you she loved you like a daughter if she didn't really feel that way. Feel good about that very, very nice compliment. Relax, it might take a while to figure out the kinds of things that the two of you will enjoy doing together.

zitiqueen · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_ok-moms-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:9420a8b3-5961-4562-b145-8495267d696bPost:e09ecf5f-7fdb-4565-b435-cb4c2e71e1bb">Ok moms, I need your help!</a>:
[QUOTE]i love my future mother in law, I just wish she took the time to hang out with me, and get to know me a bit better. She did it with her daughter in law. why not me?
Posted by Britt1893[/QUOTE]

Why did you edit your post?

RaptorSLH · December 2011

You were quoted. Changing your story is counterproductive.

MairePoppy · December 2011

Britt, your wedding isn't until November 2015, according to your bio. You have plenty of time to get to know your FMIL better.

The other DIL was her first, right? She was probably anxious about being a good MIL. Now that she knows it was a piece of cake, she's not so worried. Relax.

prettyfacegal · December 2011

I am not sure where you changed the "story" at but here is my view. Pick up the phone and ask her to have lunch or do something wedding related. If she is still distant...Just continue to be polite as long as she is mannerable to you. This is not an instant relationship that builds. You have to work at developing a releationship...but I must say just remain polite and continue with your life. She will make the effort in time.

Muffin'sMom · December 2011

Relax.
Don't push...it makes everyone anxious.
If a close relationship is meant to happen, it will do so in it's own time.
Don't compare...no two relationships are ever the same.

Britt1893 · December 2011

I'm not changing my story, I meant to add that to it, not change it. Sorry ladies, I will copy it back and fix it. I am not so computer savy. I am aggravated that others are saying I am lying. It is true that I feel like mother in law to be favors her daughter in law over me. She tells me she thinks of me like a daughter, but like I said, her actions speak louder than words. The date changed for the wedding, but like I said, I don't know how to work this thing. Sorry.

Britt1893 · December 2011

Also, she is like my fiance'. Hatessss talking on the phone. Shes texts EVERYTHING!!!! That is the only reason I text her.

joyfulhappy1 · January 2012

I'm wondering why her approval of you is so important anyway, do you even like her as a person? And why do you think she doesn't like you or why do you think she doesn't think you are good enough for her son, what's so great about the DIL?

Ok moms, I need your help!

Re: Ok moms, I need your help!

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