Advice? (Kinda long)

Re: Advice? (Kinda long)

• Beachy730 member

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_advice-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b46dd6bc-7f6d-4cb3-a086-d462e4f786c7Post:83424d2a-3de6-4c14-846f-bf9302305d5b">Advice? (Kinda long)</a>:
  [QUOTE]My SO and I have been together for a little over 2 and a half years. We met in college (I'm still here til May & he's been done for about a year). We found out he gets sent to basic soon and then will go on for further training probably before I graduate. We're not engaged yet because he is trying to capture the sun, moon, & stars for me in an engagement ring even though I've told him so many times I don't care what I get as long as its from him, but it's coming soon. We want to wait until I graduate to get married. I just don't know the logistics on whether or not he can take leave during AIT or not if we've already got the date set and everything (which we have a round about idea about it). I'm just so new to all of this and obviously this is not the situation that any girl dreams about when they're young, but I've accepted the situation, he is completely worth it, and I'm just waiting for the day that our official forever starts.   So I guess what I'm asking is should we go ahead and plan for the date we had set previously (in June when he will probably be in AIT) or should we do it while he's on leave between basic and AIT, or would it just be best if we waited until after all of his training is done and he gets his first duty station? The only problem I have is with the last one... if we can get married and I can live with him on base while he is at AIT that's what I want to do. Thanks for any help!
  Posted by jesit[/QUOTE]<div>
  </div><div>Wait until he finishes school and is at his new station.  Then you'll have a better idea of deployment schedules and what not.  Also I highly recommend going through a deployment before getting married.</div><div>
  </div><div>When he gets to the new base you could always move there and get an apartment that he can stay in.  Many times they won't let SMs of a certain rank even live off base, and have denied leave for SMs in the past to get married.  Don't plan it around when you can live with him, plan it around when it's right for you both.
  
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• ggirl2001 member

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  Ditto everything Beachy said. When he is at his duty station you will have a better idea of time frames and such. You will also know more about him being able to take leave as well.

  

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• calindi member

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  Hi and welcome!
  
  You sound like you've put a lot of thought into this and trying to do it the best possible way.  You definitely can't count on him getting leave during AIT, so the best way to make sure you'll be most likely (nothing is ever guaranteed with the military) have him available for the wedding is to wait until he gets to his first duty station.
  
  It's totally up to you to decide if you want to get married sooner.  It's totally possible to pull together a wedding in a few weeks/months, but it would probably be much smaller scale.  If you want that 'dream wedding', the best thing you can do is wait for him to get to his duty station.
  
  That said, I think it's a great idea for you to move near his base and get a job and support yourself.  You can have a roommate if you want/need to afford it, but it's a great learning experience out of college to learn to live on your own.  Especially as he's in the military, there will be lots of times when you're at home alone for sometimes months at a time, and it's good to already have experience paying bills, maintaining a home, and being responsible for yourself.  He can visit on weekends and possibly even live there with you (like Beach said, sometimes they're required to live on base, occasionally even if they're married).  But it would give you the chance to be near him and get used to the military lifestyle before getting married.
  
  Also, it's likely his chain of command will respect him more for not rushing into marriage, and definitely the wives of his superior officers will likely respect you both more for that, too.  That's good all the way around, yes?

  
  
  
  
  
  

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• iluvmytxrgr member

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  Unless rules have changed recently, you are not allowed to get married between Basic and AIT, nor are you allowed to get married while on a pass durring AIT.  You don't usually get leave durring AIT unless you are leaving for Christmas Exodus and then again, getting married isn't allowed. 
  I would wait until he settles into his first duty station.  He can find out what the training schedule is and when the best time for leave would be. 

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