Thank you note?

pzavecz · November 2012

I know you're only supposed to send thank you notes to those who got you gifts for the wedding. I've lurked on here long enough and have read that sending a thank you note to someone who didn't get you a gift would be inappropriate as it might bring attention to the fact that they didn't get a gift and might seem like you were trying to fish for a gift. Makes sense to me. However, there was a close friend that I noticed did not get us a gift or even a card. Typically, I know you would not send a TY note for someone who didn't get you anything but this is where I'm not sure....She was able get us a discount on our hotel room for the wedding because she works for the company who owns it - and the hotel also ended up giving us an upgrade. I'm not sure if she was considering this her gift to us....so maybe that's why she didn't get us anything? I'm just not sure. Should I send her a thank you card?

I mean, I don't want to ask and bring up the subject of gifts but then what if she didn't consider this a gift and she actually didn't get us anything? I don't want to send her a TY and have her feel like I was pointing out that she didn't get a gift. What do you guys think? TY card or no?

J&K10910 · November 2012

Why don't you send her a note thanking her for getting you a discount? Regardless of whether or not she considered that the gift, it was something she didn't have to do that was nice for you, and she should be thanked.

You're way overthinking this.

pzavecz · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-note-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:443e017e-0212-4b54-aea2-356b58f6c205Post:ab0dc756-9106-44db-a5e8-e1a48021edd8">Re: Thank you note?</a>:
[QUOTE]Why don't you send her a note thanking her for getting you a discount? Regardless of whether or not she considered that the gift, <strong>it was something she didn't have to do that was nice for you, and she should be thanked</strong>. You're way overthinking this.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>Sorry, I didn't mean to make it seem like I was ungrateful for it and that I didn't thank her at all. I actually thanked her multiple times, both in person and on the phone, because yes I agree, it was a very nice thing for her to do. :) Just didn't know if it was necessary to do something like a tangible thank you note in addition. I'm not trying to get out of sending her one, I was just wondering. </div>

Jen4948 · November 2012

I'd go ahead and send her a thank-you for the discount/upgrade as though it were a gift.

LuckyGirl1713 · November 2012

I would send her a note of thanks for getting you the room and upgrade. It was a nice gesture and you can also thank her for attending the wedding in the note as well.

LiLe422 · November 2012

I would definitely send her a ty card for the discount and upgrade. If she does end up giving you another gift, simply send her another thank you card for that gift. Easy peasy.

SachaBee · November 2012

OK, I am sorry that I am being totally clueless here, but do you really not send thank you cards for those who did not give gifts? I had always heard that it was nice to send "thank you for attendance" cards. I wouldn't think that to be rude, personally. Is that against etiquette or is it just a possibly gift-grabby move? Can it be done right? I have always thought it sounded gracious. Please enlighten me!

Thank you note?

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