Is anyone doing this?

ilovezak · February 2012

Is anyone planning on having the garter toss catcher put the garter on the the boquet catcher? When I was on youtube looking for song ideas I came across a lot of videos of this. I think this could be really funny but it also could get akward if the wrong people get it lol. Opinions?

toothpastechica · February 2012

honestly, I would not be comfortable with that if I caught the boquet. unless you are sure anyone who might catch either would be %100 comfortable, do what you want, but I'm guessing not everyone would be, which I think is kind of unfair to guests.

rlavach · February 2012

Wow, I had to read that over a few times before I realized you were talking about garter. I was like...since when do they use alligators in weddings!

Anyway, I think this is a terrible tradition and we're not doing any of it. We're not tossing the bouquet or garter. It is always so terribly awkward to see the guy put the garter on the girl, especially if they don't know each other.

At the last wedding I was at, my cousin's long-time girlfriend caught the bouquet. So, my cousin made sure that ALL of the guys understood & rigged the garter toss so he'd get it. He said, 'there ain't no way in **** anyone else is putting a garter on my woman.' Even though they were together, it was still weird. They actually aren't even together anymore. Although I'm pretty sure this had nothing to do with it.

ilovezak · February 2012

Haha sorry for the typo! Can’t believe I didn’t notice that. Anyway we probably won’t do it I was just curious how common this was I had never heard of that done before.

Dayna217 · February 2012

I personally think it is very akward for the two individuals who catch the garter and bouquet, but I also think its pretty funny for the groom to take the brides garter off and fun for the bride to throw her bouquet. I really want to do both at our wedding but dont want anyone to be uncomfortable so we have thought about blindfolding the person who catches the garter and placing either my Fiance or someone else in the chair for him to put the garter on.

Another idea that my sister did at her wedding, which is completly adorable is the dj askes all the married couples to the dance floor to dance. He eliminates the couples who have been married the shortest by calling out the number of years, and the couple who has been married the longest gets the toss bouquet. It is really cute especially if you have grandparents still living

Hope this helps...remember it is your wedding and anything goes!!

cmhutchison22 · February 2012

I have not heard of this. Sounds insanely creepy to me. I have been to weddings where the bouquet and garter catcher have had their pictures taken with the bride and groom.

artbyallie · February 2012

While this did happen at our wedding, it was not at our or the DJ's prompting and happened a bit later and slightly more privately because the catchers happened to be a recently engaged couple and chose to do it for a photo-op for themselves.

Alcyone1 · February 2012

I had never heard of this until my brother's wedding, and I'm pretty sure the only reason he did it was because he knew it would make me mad (my now-husband caught the garter, but I did not catch the bouquet). I told him I didn't like it, and DH was also very against it, but we could only make so much of a scene at his wedding. That's the ONLY time we've seen it done, and we've been to/in about 20 weddings between the two of us. We really wanted to do the tosses, so we did, but we swore not to do the replacement.

naforeman84 · February 2012

I can tell you from experience, that I was the lucky one to catch the bouquet at my now fiance's cousin's wedding. Her life long male friend caught the bouquet and was not that forgiving. I was only 18 at the time and was terrified. The bride had to tell him to stop because I was so embarassed, and he had had a few drinks by then. For that reason my fiance and I are chaning things up. We will be doing the bouquet toss as well as the garter but we are going to make the people that catch them do something fun and different like dance with us or each other or our flower girls/ring bearers. Something to still have the tradition but put a fun little spin on it, not awkward. Good Luck!

calliopeia2013 · February 2012

I have seen this at several people's weddings. I have NEVER seen it not be painfully awkward. Even if the "right" people (like an engaged couple) catch both, it still causes everybody a lot of anxiety beforehand ("OMG, what if I catch the bouquet and then my FI doesn't catch the garter? Do I have to let some random guy grope me?")

Also it's just gross. Don't do it.

harpsdesire · February 2012

I went to a wedding where a preteen son of one of the guests thought it would be funny to 'intercept' the bouquet.... and then when an older male relative caught the garter, they made him put it up the kid's leg and the drunken groom was pushing him to get the garter higher up for 'more years of luck'. He was mortified.

Let me tell you, it was nobody's lucky day.

I'm doing the tosses because FI wants to, put then we're just going to get a photo with the 'catchers' and leave it at that.

calliopeia2013 · February 2012

Yeah, just adding to my above comment that a tradition that might just garner some gentle teasing if everybody were being really nice can turn very awful very fast when drinking is involved. Especially when preteen or young teenaged children (or, actually, adults!) are being forced into doing something sexual that makes them uncomfortable. Then it's just flat-out cruel. And, as PPs have explained with their own anecdotes, that happens, and frequently.

Honeybumble · February 2012

I've seen it done, but it's so awkward. We're not tossing anything, nor is my new husband going up my wedding dress in front of my grandmother. I don't think this particular traition will be missed all that badly.

amyb140 · February 2012

I hate, hate, hate the tosses. Have you ever been single and gone to a wedding where they bride threw the bouquet? It's humiliating. I would always go to the bathroom when it was announced. I think the garter toss is silly too. I don't need anyone reaching up my skirt in front of 100 people. Yuck.

I don't know how these came to be traditions, but it's time to retire them.

Alcyone1 · February 2012

While to an extent I understand such feelings, I still think the tosses can be done tastefully. My garter, for example, (as well as all my friends' garters at their weddings) was below my knee, and my H did NOT use his teeth, so there really was nothing terrible about it. H also wanted to do it (as did I) because he had caught the garter at ALL our friends' weddings. As for the tosses, I didn't want any of my single female guests (would have been about 4 people out there) to feel singled out (pun not intended), but I still wanted to do the toss--after all, all my friends were able to do one, why should I not be allowed to simply because I got married later. We invited ALL the female guests to take part, and the ones who participated had a blast--we had women from 16 to 75 out there trying to catch the bouquet, and it was hilarious. Amusingly enough, one of the single women actually did catch it, but there was no humiliation and there was no tastelessness.

Viczaesar · February 2012

I think it's a horrible tradition.

HailliandThomas · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_is-anyone-doing-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:91c282f1-5ef2-4a52-b7f0-9227af617332Post:45a39697-9e3a-4e70-bfeb-50bffe8680db">Re: Is anyone doing this?</a>:
[QUOTE]While to an extent I understand such feelings, I still think the tosses can be done tastefully. My garter, for example, (as well as all my friends' garters at their weddings) was below my knee, and my H did NOT use his teeth, so there really was nothing terrible about it. H also wanted to do it (as did I) because he had caught the garter at ALL our friends' weddings. As for the tosses, I didn't want any of my single female guests (would have been about 4 people out there) to feel singled out (pun not intended), but I still wanted to do the toss--after all, all my friends were able to do one, why should I not be allowed to simply because I got married later. We invited ALL the female guests to take part, and the ones who participated had a blast--we had women from 16 to 75 out there trying to catch the bouquet, and it was hilarious. Amusingly enough, one of the single women actually did catch it, but there was no humiliation and there was no tastelessness.
Posted by Alcyone1[/QUOTE]

I love the idea of having all of the women take part. I was originally going to not do the tosses since my guest list is going to be mostly married family but now I am rethinking it.

I do think that having the one that catches the garter put it on the lady with the bouquet is very strange. I have never seen it done and I hope it stays that way.

daniellelea1985 · February 2012

I saw a wedding video of a friends where she totally regretted doing the bouquet and garter... then having him put the garter on her.

The girl was totally drunk and flashing EVERYONE while he was putting the garter on. One of the bridesmaid ran up and tried to cover her to no avail. It was pretty uncomfortable.

Needless to say, we're skipping the traditions almost altogether. We are calling out couples to the dance floor who've been together for 10, 20, 30, 40 years and so on... whomever has been married longest gets the bouquet.

Alcyone1 · February 2012

I always liked the idea of the anniversary dance myself and have seen it done beautifully. We knew we could not do it, however, without people getting sad due to divorces or deaths (some of which were extremely tragic), so we decided not to do it. If you can, though, it's a beautiful idea! It was actually a lot of fun for DH and I this past summer, since we had three friends getting married in the 12 weeks after our own wedding. Our friends specifically did anniversary dance markers that indicated us (e.g., "If you've been married 6 weeks or less, leave the floor"...).

AurorasEnvy · February 2012

I don't even know if we are doing the bouquet/garter toss, at this point we'll most likely skip it, but if we were I sure would not have the garter catcher put the garter on the bouquet catcher. I'd never even heard of this idea before TK, and I can imagine it being terribly awkward for everyone.

LittleMissCutiePie · February 2012

DO NOT DO THIS. All I hear from these stories are bad things. I would be mortified if some random guy I didn't know put a garter on my leg! Please do not do this!

hellinva · February 2012

i have been to many wedding that have done this and it was funny, but it does all depend on who catches them. one wedding i went to they had the girl who caught the bouquet sit in a chair and then they blindfolded the guy that caught the garter and then the groom traded places with the girl. it was very entertaining when the guy started rubbing the hairy leg of the groom and pulled the blindfold off.

Tandra&Devin · February 2012

I don't mind doing the bouquet/garter toss, but I really don't like the tradition of one catcher putting it on the other. At my best friend's wedding, her groom's brother caught the garter, and one of the other bridesmaids caught the teddy bear (bouquet replacement). The brother went to put it on the bridesmaid and preceded to say, "Jesus, you've got big calves!"

Admittedly, this is the brother that drank all the communion wine before the ceremony and then gave a really long, rambling, and stupid toast..but still. I'd hope none of our guests would be so blatantly rude, but I'd rather not even attempt it.

I don't even really get the point, anyway.

Is anyone doing this?

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