Bridal Shower Question. Am I right or wrong???

Re: Bridal Shower Question. Am I right or wrong???

• SKPM member

  

  August 2012

  Overstepping. Also, since she's hosting the shower, they will be "her" guests.

  
  

  
  

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• kmmssg mod

  

  August 2012

  Yes, you seriously overstepped  your boundaries.  NONE of those decisions were yours to make - not whether to have it at a a restaurant, sisters's house, or mom's, house.  The host makes ALL of those decisions and the bride is a guest.  it is nice if you are asked for some input to offer what is asked of you, but not decisions like that.

  
  

  You need to call, apologize, and get out of her shower business.

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• JoanE2012 member

  

  August 2012

  You're wrong.

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  August 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_bridal-shower-question-am-i-right-or-wrong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:2f4b32ed-18c3-481c-8139-b8a4ac2eeb7ePost:0bebed40-9c8c-44dc-bd90-8f622bc08d93">Bridal Shower Question. Am I right or wrong???</a>:
  [QUOTE]I am having a very small wedding with about 25 guests. We planned everything in about 4 months and our wedding is in 4 weeks!!! My sister is my maid of honour and originally I wanted to have my bridal shower at a resturant. I then changed my mind and told her I want to play games and do the traditional stuff a bridal shower has so I thought we could now have the shower at our mom's house. After I told her that she decided to host it at her house. The problem is her house is WAY too small to have 16 people sit around a living room and play games and honestly her house is usually a mess when she has guests over. At first i thought whatever but then it started to really bother me and so I emailed her saying  "No offence but I think mom's house is better suited to host the bridal shower." and then I told her why.( I did not mention the messiness of her house, just the size).  I want my guests to feel comfortable and not be cramped in a tight space!!! I havent heard back from her yet but my mom told me my sister is PISSED!!! Is it fair for me to want the shower where I want it or am I overstepping my boundaries?
  Posted by MrsSheenaMcInnis[/QUOTE]
  
  The bride should not be involved with planning the shower.That's up to the host. You have been very rude to your sister. Time to apologize.

                     

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• Avion22 member

  

  August 2012

  Are all of these 16 people invited to your 25-person ceremony? Call your sister and apologize. You should have no input in how the shower is planned. She will throw it in a manner that makes her feel comfortable.

  

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• MrsGandthebeag member

  

  August 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_bridal-shower-question-am-i-right-or-wrong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:2f4b32ed-18c3-481c-8139-b8a4ac2eeb7ePost:1a1e93f2-d307-4943-bb24-0fc1081c6e50">Re: Bridal Shower Question. Am I right or wrong???</a>:
  [QUOTE]Are all of these 16 people invited to your 25-person ceremony? Call your sister and apologize. You should have no input in how the shower is planned. She will throw it in a manner that makes her feel comfortable.
  Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>I was thinking the exact same thing.  Seems odd that 16/25 guests would be women.  </div>

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• sierraberry32 member

  

  August 2012

   I don't think your sister took that the right way... If the space is too small, then it is too small! What is she going to do? Remodel her house for you? I would try calling and explaining to her once again. I don't think you are overstepping your boundaries, this is your shower, and honestly the BRIDAL shower is all about the BRIDE. So go ahead and say what you want!  

  ~Soon to become Mrs. O'Kane!~

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• SB1512 member

  

  August 2012

  Although you are overstepping your boundaries, the guests of the shower should be able to be comfortable.  Does your sister's house have enough space for every single person invited to be able to have a seat for games, etc?  If not, it would be sort of rude for your sister to expect people to stand the entire shower.  If there is space for everyone to sit on a chair or couch but it would just be a tight fit, I wouldn't worry about it.  But, if there is no way for 16 women to be sitting, that situation does need to be addressed and rectified.

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• MrsSheenaMcInnis member

  

  August 2012

  My bridal shower isnt a "TRADITIONAL" shower as I forgot to mention the fact in the original post that I have helped pay for my own bridal shower. I am buying some food and all the presents for the prizes of the games. Still wrong?

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• sierraberry32 member

  

  August 2012

  Ok so your helping plan it, no you are not wrong (you never were in the first place). Do what you want! And I am sorry that they keep saying "a bridal shower is a gift to the bride", It's not!  It's just more work! A bachelorette party, now that is a gift to the bride!

  ~Soon to become Mrs. O'Kane!~

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• MrsSheenaMcInnis member

  

  September 2012

  Ok well I should have listened to my gut and not have been easily peer pressured as the bridal shower didnt go as planned. The night before the shower my sister decided to email me and tell me she is taking her daughter to dance class which should be over by 12pm (the shower starts at 1pm) So i get there shortly after 12pm to help decorate and she doesnt show up until about 12:40 saying the dance class ran late. We get inside and nothing is done. She has a dog kennel in the kitchen, the floors are dirty, food stuck on furniture and pop spilled all over her table. The only thing she did do was put all the chairs in a circle in her very small living room but like I said those were covered with dried food. My mom and other sister show up to help decorate while my sister gets changed. The guests show up while we are decorating and offer to help us. Once everyone gets there, there was not a lot of space to move around and I could tell everyone was uncomfortable. My cousin was wearing white socks for about 15 minutes and looked at the bottom of the sock and it was black. I ended up finding out by my FI that his mother told him one of my pregnant guests had to go outside for a minute and throw up because of her sensitive smell and the smell of the house. I am not exaggerting any of this. Dont get me wrong, I am grateful that I had a bridal shower but it was not a traditional shower as guests did not bring gifts ( so it wasnt a money/gift grab like some thought)  and I helped pay and decorate for my own shower. I was mad that my sister threw a huge fit about hosting the shower at her house and then when it came to the day she didnt care. Anyway overall we should have had the shower at my moms house but I tried to keep the peace and do the right thing and it bit me in the butt. Follow your instinct people, every situatuion is different and its my fault for not standing my ground on this one.

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• pattilicious08

  

  September 2012

  I would've overstepped. If you have a bad feeling, go with it. She will get over it. You, on the other hand, will not. 

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