discouraged

Re: discouraged

• Julyet06 member

  

  September 2012 edited September 2012

  1st don't make any rash decisions b/c of this argument.  Next, is he willing to "go along" with anything you want?  If so, I say just chalk his disinterest in helping you plan to being a "guy" and try to have fun with the planning (although I know it can suck if you don't feel as if you have his support).  If that's not it, what is the disagreement about exactly?  My fiance has stayed out of the wedding planning so to speak even though I try to get his opinion on things...I've since learned that he will listen when I discuss what I've come up with and if he really "cares" about a particular item he will voice his opinion, otherwise he just listens and nods.  I am thankful to have my sisters/mom so close and that they get all giddy and excited with me b/c otherwise I'd be disappointed that my FI is not showing the same excitement, although I know he wants to be married and can't wait to be, he's just not excited yet the way I am about the wedding. 

  

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• itravelsize member

  

  September 2012

  thank you so much i know i shouldnt just decide to not plan things because of a disagreement. and honestly it was over the most stupid thing i wanted him to make a list of people he wanted there which granted i can come up witht the same list on my own. he thought i should figure out the venue first and then we can make list of who we might want there. in eithre case both would have to get done and i'm not even sure why it turned to an argument. I'm know his lack of interest has more to do with not wanting to deal with the stress of it tbut its very discouraging since we are only startign the planning. 

  
  

  wish i lived closer to home so i had my mom and sister to help but it is what it is 

  

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• Julyet06 member

  

  September 2012

  Ah, I see.  In that case, you would need to have a rough estimate of # of guests since you need to make sure you choose a venue that would fit all of them.  Does he realize this?
  
  On any other things that may come up it seems he's kind of like my FI in that he gets adamant about something and thinks his way is best...I have learned to choose my battles so that when it comes time to debate about a certain thing that I am set on having/doing I won't be feeling as if we've been arguing through the whole process.
  

  

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• Meg&Austin member

  

  September 2012

  Nicole makes great points!! You do need a rough estimate of numbers for your venue because some only allow so many for receptions. Resort wise it is also nice to have a number because certain resorts do deals by person or group. It sucks some men don't get as into it as others. My FI is the same way. I had to come up with the list of people I knew he knows and ask, by name, If he wants that person invited. I voice my opinions to him and if he has an opinion he will give it to me if not he will say he likes what I like. So I guess it depends how you look at it. I look at it as I tried and since he didn't have a stronger opinion I will go with mine!

  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  September 2012

  We did the guest list first draft together. I had mentioned for him to get a list of people together that he wanted but he never did it. Eventually I sat us down and said we had to figure out at least our "must have" list of folks so we knew what sizes of places to look at. Once I started that with him it was way easier for him to contribute different folks or comment on people I put on the list than for him to sit and figure it out by himself.

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• itravelsize member

  

  September 2012

  thanks ladies for your suggestions now we have a list and at least a good thing came from the fight he has been giving me suggestions on how to figure out the rest of the stuff like transportation and what not  which is great. slowly but surely we will get there  

  

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• Julyet06 member

  

  September 2012

  yay!!  also even though you're not close to any of us or mom/sis at least you have the board to come to and you can alway call your family to get the girly giddiness of all the planning! :-)
  
  At the beginning I felt I didn't have the support I wanted from my family and this board was my go to place.  Family has since "come to their senses" and I've finally been feeling the excitement from them :-)  but this board is still my go to place ;-)

  

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