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Wedding Gifts

2010Bride2B2010Bride2B member
10 Comments
in New York-Long Island
I recently got married in April. I was born and raised in NY and move down to FL 6yrs ago. I had my wedding in Orlando. I wasnt prepared for the FL gifts that my husband and I got. Most of my family came from NY and gave us NY gifts. Maybe its a southern thing. But what brought it all together for us was when we deposited our checks into the bank they girl said shes never saw checks written out for that much for a wedding. So my question is what do Floridians give for a wedding gift? I have five Floridians out of my guest list who brought people come to the wedding. One gave us a picture frame from Disney that cost $24.95 (price tag was on it and it was from a couple), another couple gave a $25 Target gift card, another gave $50 card, one didnt even bother giving a gift and left early. My husbands cousin from FL. My NY'ers gave triple digit number checks. These people are not rich just average but im assuming is a NY thing. We cant believe that people would come to a wedding and give $25! Thats like $12.50 for the two of us! Im not trying to be greedy its just maybe its a southern thing? Its just you spend that much on dinner! You spend that much on a shirt. How do you give someone $25? You would think a wedding is more important then anything and you would give at least $100. All these people that gave $25/$50 are people that we know very well. So just was curiuos what all you married ladies got. Again, not tring to pry, but just want to understand. Is is a southern thing my fellow Ny'ers??
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Re: Wedding Gifts

  • Anabeth420Anabeth420
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wow, no offense, but I can't believe you're even asking this. There's no rule of thumb for gifts, and not everyone can afford to give you "triple digit" checks. I certainly couldn't, and I'm from NY.

    The cost of living down south is WAY lower than here, that's probably got something to do with it, but I still find it really mean that you're even asking.
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  • xoxpipahxoxxoxpipahxox
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Honestly?  You're ridiculous.  I think you need to realize that wedding gifts, while much appreciated, are NOT a requirement.  You're lucky those people thought to give you a penny.  Triple-digit checks are NOT the norm.  You're selfish and greedy.  I'm surprised they came to your wedding at all.

    Oh, and you stated that a wedding is the most important thing?  To you it is.  To everyone else?  It's just another day.  Get over yourself.
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  • prideeinpynkprideeinpynk member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If I were one of your guests and knew you felt this way, I'd have given you a 2nd hand Miss Manners book and helped myself to double appetizers. But maybe that's a mid-western thing.

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  • MeganJ26MeganJ26
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am from the south and it is the norm to give a wedding gift that you can afford to give. If someone gave me $5 and a card, I would still be happy.
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  • dawnmhaydendawnmhayden member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I honestly can't believe you would post something like this.  What if one of your guests who gave you those above gifts read this post?  How do you think they would feel?  The most important thing you should be focusing on is that these people took time out of their busy lives to spend the day with you! 
    I was also born and raised in NY and was not raised to think this way!
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  • saram348saram348 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i hope I am not going to get skewered on a stick for this, but i can kind of see where she is coming from. I wouldnt necessarily seperate it out from a northern to southern thing, but weddings in NY are extremely expensive, for the bride i would be a little disheartened if i spent $100 per plate and got a $10 gift. with that said, at my wedding i am having family fly in from across the world. they are probably paying at least $800 for a flight. in those circumstances, i would be thrilled just to have them there. there are exceptions to everything but in general, if you are a local resident going to a wedding and have a stable income, it is the curtious thing to do to give at least $50 (if funds allow). there is a difference between being stingy and on hard times. for the later- i woul understand completely.
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  • weddingbells2010weddingbells2010
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yes, we all know that a gift is optional, at any event you attend.  Whatever the giver can afford should always be appreciated and accepted with grace (I hope you did that when you accepted your gifts).

    That being said, I've always been told that the gift should cover the cost of your plate.  Since NY venues typically cost a lot more per person than some other areas, it sounds reasonable that your NY guests might be used to giving more.  Doesn't mean they had to, doesn't mean they're better friends/wealthier/etc... than anyone else.

    Accept what you got graciously and be thankful that the people were able to celebrate with you, regardless of what they gave you.
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  • Roseinbloom2Roseinbloom2 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am from the South originally and now live up here, and I think you are super rude!  You should be grateful that you received anything from your guests, you didn't invite them to your wedding just so you could get tons of money!  Ughh!  
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  • smatuzasmatuza member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think people on this board are being mean.  She asked a reasonable question and although giving a gift isn't mandatory, I think it's completely rude to come to a wedding without one.  I also think that anything less than $100 per person is rude.  I'm not rich and neither is my family but that is standard from every wedding I've ever attended.  I think it is a southern thing, I've had lots of talks with people on a teacher board I'm a part of and it's definitely regional.
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  • LeighPALeighPA
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am originally from Long Island, and now I am embarrassed to even admit that. OP, you make the rest of us LI-ers look BAD.
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  • lisalou402lisalou402 member
    Tenth Anniversary 100 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    i don't think it was rude to ask, and I think this is supposed to be a great forum to flush out questions. 

    It is NY/NorthEast weddings.  My brother had a wedding in New Orleans...the 30 people from NY gave more in total than the 110 people from New Orleans. 

    It's just the way it is. I think you can still be shocked about what people gave and it not be a crime.  Even in a recession. 

    I just went to a wedding in Buffalo, and my FI asked what we should give. My immediate response was "we have to cover our plates."  It's just what we do in NY.

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