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Offbeat Weddings

Offbeat Brain Chemistry

So I've been working with a counselor on some depression and anxiety issues recently and it has really really really been helping! We're working on learning to recognize when I start to freak out and calm myself down before I spiral. I don't always catch it right away but when I do, I'm supposed to ask myself:

Am I over-estimating? (Is the 'threat' really that bad? What are the facts?)
and
Am I catastrophizing? (Am I blowing it out of proportion? Will the world really end if this happens?)

Like I said, it has been helping a ton! I thought I'd share because I think sometimes when we share our most difficult 'stuff' with others, we can really be there for one another.

What do you do when you start to freak out? How do you cope?

Re: Offbeat Brain Chemistry

  • Prayer.  And deep breathing.  But most of all I just try to stay on top of things so that I end up not having anything to panic about.  I watch due dates for bills so I don't freak about about missed payments, set alarms in my phone so I don't freak out about being late to places, have reminders pop up in my phone about medications so I don't freak out about missing a pill, ask for help from FI and my family so I don't get too over-stressed, plan my route before driving somewhere so I don't freak out about getting lost, etc.
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  • Prayer. "meditating" bubble baths. Reading. Reality TV (srsly, make myself focus on inane, outlandish, stupid things in order to stop the anxiety)

    I tend to "think too much" and create whole scenarios out of fears or situations and then freak myself about things that way. I used to not do anything or go anywhere, and couldn't sleep because night=quiet=my mind going crazy with thoughts that scared me. But that's no way to live life! and it's not how I want my son to grow up, with his mom never doing or going places with him, or him used to being home and never doing things with others. 

     So I started finding little ways to help myself get through a situation, or a day or falling asleep. Little steps. I have to stop myself from over-thinking a lot of times...I just have to mentally and constantly be aware of reality vs what my mind creates and reacts to (blowing things out of proportion, fearing things that aren't "real" etc --like ppl judging me. That's not real, ppl don't even care what it is I'm doing/wearing etc...) and I have to understand and accept there are things I cannot change, cannot anticpate and cannot stop. I have to pray that I can accept those things, otherwise I drive myself crazy and dwell on those them. 

    I feel like it's aweful to say the horror of reality tv keeps me sane from my thoughts? ha! but sadly true :( 
  • I try to meditate but I am ALWAYS stressed. My mom always says that I was bron worrying. FI is really trying to help me stop stressing out so much and it's even become a mission of his. I haven't found a medication that will help, so I am doing this the hard way. It's really great that Fi has realized how bad it is and it's not easy to stop worrying.

    I'm glad to hear things are working out for you!!!
  • thanks for the suggestions ladies. i'm glad to know i'm not the only one who watches really awful/awesome reality tv to disengage haha!
    you guys are awesome!
  • reliartreliart member
    100 Comments
    I usually opt for a run or a hot bath :) i tend to get really anxious esp. about things out of my control. i have learned over time to get a grip, but i am not always sucessful.

    miss owl, i wanted to let you know that i was feeling really anxious in the time leading up to our engagement. just like you, i knew it was coming, but i did not know when (which was my choice - i told him i wanted it to be a surprise). we started talking about it in aug really seriously, but did not get engaged until dec. i was fine until about oct-ish and then just could not stop obsessing on it! i actually have a broken engagement under my belt and a lot of old insecurities came rushing back. FI was awesome through it all and the day he proposed was such a weight off my shoulders! after he asked and i said yes and was crying, the next thing out of my mouth was "thank you" b/c it just felt so amazing not to have to worry about it anymore! meanwhile, he was not trying to torture me... he gave me his g-mama's ring and it took some time to get it from his parents, get it resized, etc. at the time it felt like such a long, hard wait! i was never a big getting married kind of girl and in addition to being anxious i was feeling bad about being the kind of person who got so hung up on this whole thing!! anyway, just wanted to let you know i am thinking speedy engagement thoughts for you and letting you know that it feels like a pressure valve being released when it happens :)
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  • sloanawsloanaw member
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    i pray, draw, or read! and i talk to my fiancee or roommate.
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  • thanks reliart! i appreciate your story so much!
  • I deal with anxiety and depression. I find that heat lamps and a fan calm me down or I'll try to take a nap depending on how I feel.
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  • Those are great recommendations from your counselor! I'll try to keep those in mind. I too am guilty of blowing things out of proportion and getting myself all worked up. I try to distract myself and come back to whatever it is I'm stressing about. I generally find that it's not so big of a deal when I come back to it. 

    I also try to stay really on top of things - to the point where it annoys FI because I'm constantly busy at home. But, if my bills are paid, my laundry is put away, my lunch for the next day is made, etc. etc. I find it so much easier to get through the day without worrying about the little things.
  • I had to do therapy too. I just cant handle it when panic sets in and planning a wedding sure as heck brings out the monster within.
    i try and take some me time when i feel like i'm going to blow. this is my secound wedding to plan (my first fell threw 6 years ago) and this time I'm on double duty because i have to plan one for the states and in South Africa. not cool having to plan to a country you have never been to with NO help...just sayin'.
    Back to you..
    just breathe deep :)
  • My FI is a total catastrophizer.  Any tips on helping him help himself?  He doesn't really draw or journal.  I think I will try to point it out to him when I notice him going in that direction.  It happens really fast though!
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