Nice Venues in North New Jersey? Vintage Colonial Theme!!!

MrsLuikert · September 2012

I would like to find an Old House or Winery!! My Husband is in the Marines so he will be wearing his dress blues...My gown is very couture/vintage. Our theme is Vintage Colonial. I looked at Shawdowbrook and Oakeside mansion...Has anyone been or had their wedding at either of these places? Pricing reasonable? Thanks and have a happy day!

MoonlightSilver · September 2012

If your parents are in a relationship their partner(s) need to be invited with them. You cannot tell them to leave their significant others at home. Your mother and MIL should be able to behave like grown women and not start any drama at the wedding of their children.

Avion22 · September 2012

The new significant others should be invited, but they do not have to be "included" in the wedding festivities -- they don't need to process in with the families, get flowers (corsage or boutiniere), be in formal family photographs, etc. They should be seated with the parent during dinner though.

I would recommend that you actually talk with your dad (and have your fiance talk to his dad) and find out if he plans on bringing the girlfriend. Maybe you could have a frank father-daughter discussion about how it would make you feel, how it could impact the family, etc. Emphasize that he can bring her if he wants to, but that you think you would feel uncomfortable. I think you can do this without sounding like a brat -- just be calm, while being open an honest about your feelings.

achiduck · September 2012

Invite the SO and tell everyone to behave like adults. The wedding day is not about them.

RamonaFlowers · September 2012

You can't tell your dad he can't bring his girlfriend. Even if he isn't contributing (Which he apparently is), the only way you don't have to invite anybody's girlfriend/boyfriend is by not inviting that person in the first place.

lyndausvi · September 2012

Treat people how you would want to be treated.

How would you like it if your parents decided they would not invite your FI anywhere? I'm sure you would not like it one bit. They are a couple and should be be treated as such.

I also think it's pretty shitty to take money from dear old dad and then tell him is live-in GF is not welcome.

zitiqueen · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_both-our-parents-are-divorced-what-to-do-about-telling-our-parents-not-to-bring-their-new-gf-or-bf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:b4b60342-76f7-454d-aca6-051bacb6f130Post:daddcd3a-45b0-4cc4-b5eb-fa6c09c2a78f">Both our parents are divorced... what to do about telling our parents not to bring their new gf or bf?</a>:
[QUOTE]VERY hard to do this but my mom and dad just got a divorce a year ago and my father is already living with another women. Of course, He 's going to be contributing to the wedding so I know he's going to say he wants to bring his gf... But that will NOT fly with me nor my mother. Same with my fiance's father...he also has a new gf after a divorce that just happened about 7 months ago. HELP!!!!!!!!
Posted by MrsLuikert[/QUOTE]

Not that it matters, but did the fathers leave the mothers for the women they're currently dating?

I love that you're more than willing to take his money for your pretty princess day but you don't want him to bring his GF.

vexie · September 2012

Please invite them.

Sydney91 · October 2012

I am just asking a few questions so you can find the right answer. Pease think about these things and answer them honestly.

1. What specifically angers you and your fiance?

2. Are there amicable ways to resolve any of the anger you feel?

3. Do you want to continue this embargo of the fathers' SO's past the wedding?

4. If you don't invite them, they (both the fathers and their SO's) are entitled to cut you out of their life too. Are you prepared for that?

5. If you are planning on having children, are you prepared to raise them without bias toward any family members? Remember that it is your fight, not theirs. They do not need that in their life (my mom can't give up a fight with her SIL, and I picked up on it as a younster, but never heard my mom speak poorly about her).

6. How will this affect the family dynamics for years to come at holidays? Will this sour other joyous occasions?

7. Is the fight worth it?

I'm going to venture a guess and say that the repercussions are not worth the fight. Instead of continuing the fight and bad feelings, try to move on. Don't accept the low road as the only way to go. Champion the high road. I don't have much of this going on, so it really pisses me off when people deliberately extend the situation well past the initial problems. A friend in high school had to put up with divorced parents that fought as though they were still married. As a bystander, it killed me to see them hurt everyone around them and cause so many other problems. Please be mature and stop fighting a fight that is not yours to fight.

ejheart · October 2012

Just to second what everyone else has basically already covered, you need to invite all SO's. My parents are divorced. My mom is re-married and obviously brought my step-dad to my wedding. Since he has been in my life for many years, he sat with my mom in the front row at the ceremony. My dad has only been dating his GF for 6-ish months. I cannot stand her (this is beside the point, but may be relevant to your situation). She sat with the rest of the guests, was only involved in a few pics with my dad and I, and sat with my dad and his family at dinner. Yes, the few times she spoke to me she annoyed the heck out of me; yes, I would have preferred that she not attend, but was it worth hurting my dad's feelings? No, most definitely not. Imagine how the dads would feel if you straight up told them, "no, you can't bring the person you currently think you're in love with." I know the divorces that you and your FI are dealing with are much more recent, and it sucks, but you have to try to deal and consider their feelings, not just yours.

Nice Venues in North New Jersey? Vintage Colonial Theme!!!

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