Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Military Brides
Military Brides
New Discussion
Options

suggests for planning while he's deployed?

beachkbeachk
First Comment
in Military Brides
Hey ladies! I'm new to these boards :)
Does anyone have suggestions on planning for a wedding while he's deployed, with the wedding to be soon after he gets home? I've barely started planning but already worried since dates change so much...
Report Reply to Post

Re: suggests for planning while he's deployed?

  • Options
    rojobrorojobro member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just curious, where is he deployed and when do you expect him home?
    Report Reply
  • Options
    hh581842hh581842 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well, definitely make sure all of your vendor contracts include a "military clause."  This means that if he for some reason doesn't make it home by the date of the wedding, you won't lose any money, and the date of the wedding can simply be moved.  Have it include any details you think are important to you and your FI's particular circumstance.

    Other than that, I would just plan it like normal! I mean, guys don't help that much anyway lol.  Now you can do everything you want for the wedding without him butting in! Hahaha jk. but yeah, get your BMs and Mom or brother or whoever is close to you to help you do the things he would have done if he was there.  Ask him his opinion of things via phone/email, and just plan it like normal for the date that you think he will definitely be home by. With that date, I would probably also add some cushioning in.  If you think he's going to get home on May 31 for example and the wedding is one week later, maybe do two weeks.  You never know with the military.  Also see if there is anyway he can put in a request for leave for your wedding weekend to make sure he's there.

    Good luck!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    meltoinemeltoine member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hello and welcome! Can you add your response to the names post at the top of the page please? We'd like to get to know you!

    My suggestion is to ask him which wedding things are really important to him so you can make sure to get his opinion on those, because you probably won't be able to get it for everything. Also, make sure it's not too soon after you expect him home - dates can change and there's a lot of readjustment when a servicemember comes home.

    Congrats!
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • Options
    nicncraignicncraig member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am going through the same thing right now! My fiance is in Texas and I am attempting to plan a June 5th wedding hoping that nothing will change! I hope everything goes through for you! The best thing I can tell you that I have done is get everything you can possibly get done without a definite date. I know it is extremely difficult to do that, but as military brides we must make sacrifices. = )
    Report Reply
  • Options
    kaynix21kaynix21 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Welcome! Like PP said, get a military clause in your contracts.

    Planning can keep you distracted while he's gone, but don't forget to get your FIs input too!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Marcia1215Marcia1215 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No new advice from me. Just want to repeat the importance of the military clause in the contract. My wedding date changed a few times because of FI predeployment training schedule. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    blondiealwayfunblondiealwayfun member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Make sure you have a contract that stands that the day will be moved if he can't make it back or what not. Like my hubby was supposed to be gone for 7 mths he came back 8mths..
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Options
    lmark7786lmark7786
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Agreed. We just had to move our date because his deployment was extended by 2 months! Luckily my mom was adament about asking them about our military situation, and all vendors were happy to help us.
    TEST
    Report Reply
  • Options
    NeColeMonetNeColeMonet
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm in the same boat. We decided to get married shortly after his deployment began.  We are BOTH active duty (he's Air Force and I'm Army) and I'm in MD plannng a San Diego wedding (our hometown).  Basically we do everything online and over the phone.  I rely very heavily on the advice of my knottie friends here on the website.  Also, he will be home in two weeks (THANK GOD)  on R&R and he'll be back a few weeks before the wedding.  We're both spending his R&R in San Diego and plan on knocking out a lot of the wedding stuff then if possible.
    He that findeth a wife, findeth a GOOD THING!! small2 small Photobucket
    Report Reply
  • Options
    libra44423libra44423 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah I'm going through the same thing. My fiance is in the Navy deployed in the Middle East til atm July 17th.  That date was already changed once.  We're keeping things relatively simple.  Since he's pagan and I guess I'm atheist we will not be having a church wedding.  We're gonna go to the courthouse shortly after he gets back to get married to get the legal stuff going and then have a sort of reception with a short exchange of vows and handfasting at the beginning. I'm mostly having trouble choosing a place! And on top of planning the wedding I gotta plan and arrange for us to move across the country from Ohio to San Diego
    Report Reply
  • Options
    KayAyKayAy
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow, I'm glad I stumbled across this because I never would have thought about a military clause. Not only is my fiancee deployed in August for a year, but I've only been in NH for 7 months and am clueless as to wedding venues, vendors, etc. Thanks for posting this topic beachk, and thanks for the advice ladies!
    Hard as love can be, love is the only eternal reality." -George Weigel Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    beachkbeachk
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    ahhh! i am going to have to ask about a military clause..i mean, IF dates had to change, i would still want to use the same vendors, just a different date.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    XxScytheSelenexXXxScytheSelenexX
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am so happy I'm reading this at the moment. I would never have thought about Military Clause. My Fiancee and i are planning the wedding during his R&R after he gets back from deployment. We still have a year and a half before the wedding, and we're making plans the best we can over the internet since he's stationed in Germany until his deployment. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Guys, don't post dates of arrival home from deployment and don't ask for them. It's an OPSEC violation.
    I hate Dave Ramsey
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards