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April 2013 Weddings

What would you do?

I may have asked this in the past, but I'm so indecisive so I'm asking again. I've been thinking, since I cut my wedding back, I've been happy it's small, but also really sad that 4 of my close friends who I talk to and hang out with the most won't be there. If I add them in, it goes up 10 people (their significant others and then another friend of FI added in too), to about 23. No big deal- nothing else has to change, the price just goes up a bit in food and alcohol. Would you do it? (And I know my friends wouldn't be insulted about being re-invited, though that does sound horrible) I feel like I may regret not being able to talk about my wedding at all to my closest friends, and to be honest, if I'm all dressed up, dang it, I want a few more people to see it! Would you do it, and just deal with anyone else who may be insulted that they weren't invited and considered the closest friends? And, I'd be able to have a little bridal shower this way too- something I was sad about not having. What are your opinions?

Also- my reception place said it's a rumor about them closing, so I'm not even going to worry about it!
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Re: What would you do?

  • I would WANT to do it but I probably wouldn't.  If my family found out that I uninvited all of them, but allowed 4 friends and their significant others to come, I would hear about it until the end of time, and to me, it wouldn't be worth it.  As much as I'd want them there, I know that my family has the power to make me miserable for the rest of my life, and they most definitely would - every chance they got.
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  • edited November 2012
    Orange, do you have a lot of family that is local?  I'd probably be offended if I was a local family member that you see frequently that wasn't invited when your friends were.  

    However, I wanted to make sure my closest friends came to my wedding so I made 8 of them bridesmaids, lol.  One washed out the other day for financial reasons, anyway but she should still be at the wedding.  These are all girls that I knew I couldn't go through the day without(with the exception of my FSIL...yea, that addition was to appease FMIL but we're getting closer every day).  I know that sounds super-dramatic but they all come from various times in my life and we were there for each other when very few others were.  If you can't live without these friends being there, do what makes you happy!  

    We had to cut a lot of FI's family because there are simply too many of them.  We kept the ones that he sees regularly around the holidays but FMIL still kept many that I had never even heard mentioned before.  We were very stubborn about inviting our friends, though.  Most of my friends know way more about me and have shared waaaay more experiences than any of my family members have with the exception of my parents, sister and cousin.

    It's your call in the end but please, please, please put your and your FI's thoughts and feelings above everyone else's for this one day.  It's probably the only day where you can do this and get away with it and no one will remember more about the day than the two of you ;-)

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  • I would invite them as long as you don't hurt any close family of either you or your FI.  If I was a close family member and didn't get invited and I found out that they invited friends instead then I would be upset.

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  • If you can afford it, go for it. If you are closer to these friends than family I don't see anything wrong with inviting them. I'm having a similar style wedding (our parents plus 12 or so friends, restaurant). Family didn't even expect to be invited once I said that it will be a very very small wedding. More extended friends understood. Anyone that would be offended isn't someone who is a regular part of my life anyway.     
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  • I 100% would invite them. Just because people are your blood family doesn't mean they are more important than your best friends.

    If you are having these mixed feelings about it you probably will regret them not being there. It is better to look back and be glad you did it rather than not.

    That is how I felt about asking people to stand up - I have 10 girls total and I went back and forth about having so many. After I made the decision to ask them all I knew it was the right choice :)
  • Thanks ladies!! That makes me feel like I made the right choice. After talking to my mom (who is paying) and FI we all agreed that we should invite them because otherwise we just may not be happy with our decision. Neither of us have family we are super close with-none of mine are in town, most of FI are- but I've met none of them- so obviously not close- so no hurt feelings there. I do have a lot of family friends my mom's age- but since we aren't inviting any of them- none of them are hurt, they understand. It's just FI and my closest friends, 6 for me (and their sig others) and 3 for him. So it's still small, within budget, but our closest are there! Yay. I feel much better about it!! Annnd hopefully that is the last change. Haha
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  • I'm glad you worked it out so that everyone is happy. 
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