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Only a little wedding related...

squeakyducksqueakyduck member
First Comment
in Wedding Party
My MOH and her boyfriend of two years just broke up. I don't really know what to do. They're both my friends; she actually met him through me. She told me I'm not to treat him any differently than I did before, but it's hard when he broke my best friend's heart. 

I asked him to be an usher a while back and he never really gave me a concrete answer. We've both been busy, so I haven't pushed it. Now I don't know what to say. My MOH told me explicitly that he should still be invited and should still be an usher. 

What do I say to him about the break up and then much later on, about the wedding? I think he's an idiot for breaking up with her, but I'm a little biased. Should I even say anything to him? 
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Re: Only a little wedding related...

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    ManwaithielManwaithiel member
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    The break up is really none of your business unless he asks for your opinion about it (unlikely) so you shouldn't say anything.

    You've asked him to be an usher so unless he says "I don't want to do it anymore," you shouldn't assume otherwise. Which mean's he's definitely invited. Your MOH is spot on on this one. She sounds like a very classy, mature lady. Send her my compliments and listen to her sound advice =)
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    aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
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    That's a really crappy situation to be in.  You've still got a while until your wedding, so I would just try to stay neutral, be a friend to both, and figure out his role in the wedding when it gets closer and the hurt isn't so raw.  There are a lot of different ways a breakup can go, and after a few months, it will be easier to see how these relationships are going to work out.
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    bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Say nothing to him about being in the wedding or about the breakup.  There's always a chance they could get back together, and emotions are running raw right now so how both of them feel today is in no way indicative of how they will both feel in May.  You've still got about 5 months to go until the wedding, so this isn't something worth dealing with right now.  I'm going to bet that he'll drop out on his own, but even if you hear nothing, just do nothing and see if he shows up.  This isn't something you need to prep for or replace.  One usher down won't be the end of the world.
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    tldhtldh member
    First Comment
    Try not to worry about this.  People do sometimes get back together after breakups.  DH and I did.  Another friend who just got engaged had broken up with her FI a few years ago.  And if they don't, they are both adults and will handle themselves as such if your friend's request that you treat her ex the same as always holds true.
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    lalap69lalap69 member
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    I think your MOH definitely has the right idea.  If she's the one whose heart was broken and she's willing to be the bigger person, I don't think you can afford not to be.  You have almost a full six months until your wedding.  You don't need to do anything about this right now.  Stay out of their break up and see what they want to do.  But since you've asked him, whether or not he remains in your wedding needs to be his call.
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    megandjaymegandjay member
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    I agree. Wait. And then figure things out closer to the wedding.
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