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To include or not to include??... hm

kkmcdonald403kkmcdonald403 member
10 Comments First Anniversary
in Moms and Maids
In 2 weeks my 2 MOH's are throwing FH and I an engagement party... so the MOH's and I decided to get together the night before the party and bake desserts for the party and hangout have wine etc. I want to have all my bridesmaids come and just make it a fun night. My Fiances sister and sister in law are in the wedding party... but my dilemma is if i invite all of them then do i have to invite my FMIL? She has been so mean and nasty to me since we got engaged. Very Aggressive and rude, doesnt acknowledge my presence when i am around or even say hello to me.. I feel if i invite his sister and sister in law then it will be rude if i dont invite her. I wanna do the right thing because even though she has been so hurtful to me, im trying to be the bigger person and kill her with kindness. I dont know what to do anymore.  DO i invite the all the bridesmaids and not includeFMIL? Or just keep the baking party to my MOH's and I? HELP! Embarassed
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Re: To include or not to include??... hm

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited July 2012
    I think if you only want to invite your bridal party (which your FMIL is not a part of) to your house the night before to hang out, bake desserts, and drink wine then that is perfectly fine and not in anyway rude.

    Also you have a long way to go before your wedding so just prepare yourself for the fact that your FMIL may not change her attitude before then.  Is she contributing anything to your wedding?  If not, then I would suggest not trying to involve her because it doesn't seem like she is the sweetest peach on the tree.  In addition, does your FI notice her behavior towards you?  If so he needs to be a man and tell his Mother that the way she treats you is not acceptable.  It is important that your FI backs you up and supports you.

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  • kkmcdonald403kkmcdonald403 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    Thanks for the advice!!
    Thus far FMIL is not contributing, or wanting anything to do with the wedding...
    My fiance does notice the behavior of his mother and has said things to her, now we are at the point where we are keeping our distance... He definetly supports how i feel, ive done nothing but try with his mom but i get hurt everytime and he sees that. She cant accept her baby is grown up i guess..
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  • expatmrsexpatmrs member
    10 Comments
    I would not invite her. If she's already being rude, she may just put a damper on a fun night with your girls. Have fun!
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  • LittleMissCutiePieLittleMissCutiePie
    500 Comments
    Correct me if I'm wrong, but your future sister in law and fiance's sister in law are adults, yes? They don't need permission from their mother/mother-in-law to attend a party; therefore they wouldn't have to tell her about it. And if no one mentions it to her, then there would be no reason to feel bad about not inviting her. Just leave her out of it and have a fun night with your girls.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Well I am glad that your FI has your back because that is most important.  I also think that it is a good idea that you are distancing yourself from her.  There is no need to add unnecessary stress and drama.

    Have a great engagement party and a nice night with your girls.  Just enjoy the moments and don't let crappy attitudes ruin your time.

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  • kkmcdonald403kkmcdonald403 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    Thanks everyone! I sent out the EVITES just now to my bridal party! feeling better now about the whole thing... this mother in law stuff is trickyyyy especially now that were engaged. I cant let her put a damper on our night :)
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  • kkmcdonald403kkmcdonald403 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    Yes the FSIL's are adults, but close with my FMIL, so i dont think there is any way around her finding out about it. But I guess i dont know why she would expect an invite knowing how horrible she has been to me, but im sure its just going to make her mad. FH is on the same page with me, so we will see how it goes i suppose...
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I think you're safe to invite only the wedding party for baking. Why would you invite your FMIL to a fun night if she is just the opposite of fun?
                       
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  • kkmcdonald403kkmcdonald403 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    I know thats what i was thinking.. just didnt want to add fuel to the fire if i could avoid it ya know? But im good with not inviting her, and everyones advice has been wonderful!
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