Hi Girls,
I don't come around here much any more but when I was here planning the wedding I sure learned a lot!
I was my EX husbands second wife. He had 2 wonderful girls with his first wife.
His eldest daughter (25) is scheduled to be married in Sept. on Labor Day weekend, and my son, her half brother will be an usher in the wedding and my new hubby and I are invited.
She wrote me a private FB message stating she talked to her father and told him her mother would be walking her down the aisle and not him. He said he wouldn't attend the wedding. She was crushed. Then my son (15) in solidarity with his father said he wouldn't attend (I was furious, and my son has no choice, he's going!)
He basically bolted on all his kids when they were young teens. The girls were teens and my son was 8 when he decided to move out of state. He had little to do with them save the occasional phone call. He was a great dad when they were all young so it was a blow to all 3 kids. His 2 daughters and my son. He rarely paid child support, but myself, and the girls mom never kept him from his kids because of that. he moved back years later and see's all of them about monthly. The girls are grown, the oldest 25, his other daughter is 23 and my son is 15.
I gave her good advice that I learned here. I told her to not be dramatic about it, but just to say I'm sorry you feel that way, you will be missed. Of course you are welcome to come and I need you for pictures, I want you in a Tux for family photos, and I have a bout for you. If you decide not to come you will be missed, but my decision has been made. Repeat and keep repeating.
I told her I totally support what ever decision she makes because the wedding is about HER. I also told her it is a lovely idea to have her mother to walk her down the aisle. I also told her not to worry about her brother, he will be there. He has no choice, he is 15 and I WILL NOT allow him to hurt his sister that way. I'm sure he will re think his decision when he has no phone, internet, x box or other things he loves. hehehe.
My EX's first wife remarried when their daughter was 8, and her step father has always been there for her, and has been a wonderful "father" to her, and is even paying for her wedding. I'm sure the decision was difficult for her and I totally understand why she made the decision she made.
I don't know if they worked it out or not. My son has been with him for 2 weeks and is scheduled to be home this weekend. This all took place while he was staying with his dad. His dad is bi polar and always had difficulty controlling his emotions, thus the "emotional blackmale" he pulled on his girl.
I'm so pissed off about it but I have to stay out of it and let his daughter work it out with him, but my son will be there with my hubby and I.
She wrote me back thanking me, and told me "she needed to hear that" .... I hope it all works out for her.