Bar Service.!

shano06 · July 2012

So we're trying to figure out our bar situation. We know that alot of guests will drink, including us, and a few won't. I just think that if its a cash bar, nobody will get anything. FI and I went to a wedding Saturday and it was a cash bar and not everybody was too thrilled. Ironically, I was at the table with a wedding planner, lol and she said its etiquette to have an open bar. Its just that open bar is per person and cash bar is a flat fee. Which one are yu doing.?? Cause we have no idea. I would love to have an open bar and FI couldnt care less either way. I want everybody to enjoy themselves. And if we do a cash bar, do I put on our website to bring cash.?? I'm confused.

Danny&Mel2003 · July 2012

I was thinking of doing cash bar at one point thankfully our venue provides open bar as part of our package so I don't have to worry about that. Check the venue first then weigh your options.

PJBHL5 · July 2012

we are open bar only. Our location doesn't allow cash bar b/c in order to do that, they have to have a permit to sell liquor which is a different permit than to SERVE liquor.
We pay for our own alcohol... we can buy as much or as little as we want (through beer and wine only, no actual liquor) and when it runs out, it runs out. This way it's on us, not them.
We are not buying much b/c we don't have a bunch of drunk people at the wedding adn most of our friends likely won't drink much anyways.

SSaltzman87 · July 2012

Many posters on TK absolutely abhor cash bars and would throw virtual daggers at you.

If I went to a wedding with one, it wouldn't turn me off necessarily- but it would influence how much I drank depending on the cost of the drinks. Here in the midwest, cash bars are pretty common. My venue actually doesn't allow cash bars and we can only do beer and wine, which is fine by me plus not much we can do about it anyway :-)

RebCappon · July 2012

Open bar is a part of my package with the venue. It is 4 hours, closed during dinner.

aprahamian2 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_bar-service?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:404ecb6c-9274-456b-a281-b37cdae11637Post:e6019ab9-89e0-47c5-accd-d338c8cdd95e">Re: Bar Service.!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Many posters on TK absolutely abhor cash bars and would throw virtual daggers at you. </strong> If I went to a wedding with one, it wouldn't turn me off necessarily- but it would influence how much I drank depending on the cost of the drinks. Here in the midwest, cash bars are pretty common. My venue actually doesn't allow cash bars and we can only do beer and wine, which is fine by me plus not much we can do about it anyway :-)
Posted by SSaltzman87[/QUOTE]

<div>Lol- this is so true. If you check out the etiquette board, peoplel will tell you how extremely rude it is to do a cash bar. In our case, our venue includes open bar in the per-person price so there was no decision to make. If it didn't, we still would have gone with an open bar. I personally feel that when I go to a wedding, I am already spending a ton of money and do not want to pay more on drinks. (And for many of our friends, drinking leads to dancing...)</div>

Krikin22 · July 2012

What if you did drink tickets and cash after that? I'm not sure if its possible to do something like that but it seems like a good middle ground.

Swazzle · July 2012

I'm not a fan of cash bars (at all). If I went to a wedding with one, it would be helpful to be aware of it beforehand because FI & I rarely carry cash.

pittpoint1119 · July 2012

Not a fan of cash bars! I went to one and i refused to drink. When the Bride and Groom asked where my drink was I said I wasn't in the mood! The thing that got me was the bridal party got to drink for free?!?!?!?! How does that make sense, either open bar or partical bar.. NO CASH BAR

SRRL18 · July 2012

I don't bring cash to a wedding except for a cab ride home. It's not rude, I just don't like it.

hisbabygirl76 · July 2012

I have been to many weddings and only one was "open bar" all night. It was a backyard wedding and they had beer and wine. Up here its a little tricky. If you hose an open bar for any event you are responsible (social host law) if anyone who leaves your function gets hurt or hurts anyone else. So I know that typically venues here will host a one hour of cocktail open bar and then its cash bar after. All the venues that I checked out had the option but it was way more pricey and not one of them pushed it, they all recommened cash bar. I always go to weddings with cash knowing Ill be buying my drinks during the event. Doesnt bother me or seem rude at all. I feel you have to feed your guests but you dont have to dish the money to give them the freedom to get slammed.

lalans · July 2012

I think many ladies on TK forget how diverse this country is! There are many subcultures even within larger areas. Know your crowd

I tend to think open bar is a better policy because personally I'm always sad with cash bars and no cocktails, but that is also very much the culture in which I grew up and operate in. Also, you might have a good reason to try and limit drinking...if your friends are going to get totally trashed if there is an open bar and that is an issue for you then cash bar is probably a good option.

At our venue we either have to bring in a bar service or bring in our own drinks and hire bar tenders (probably going with option #2). Part of my guest list is a little tick of non drinkers so we can factor that into numbers who will drink. Some people we don't know, so they are assumed drinkers, but I have a quite a few friends and family who I know won't drink anything, or at most will drink 1 glass of wine or something. Even with open bar at your venue you might be able to do something like that...let them know that while you have x number of adults (i assume they would not charge for kids) x number do not drink at all if you have those.

melb2013 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_bar-service?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:404ecb6c-9274-456b-a281-b37cdae11637Post:496b2403-a523-441f-9e68-b902f1da9766">Re: Bar Service.!</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't bring cash to a wedding except for a cab ride home. It's not rude, I just don't like it.
Posted by SRRL18[/QUOTE]

<div>This. Receptions are a way to thank your guests. Don't ever ask them to open their wallets at your reception. If you can't afford an open bar, do a limited bar, if you can't afford that, don't have alcohol. Do what you can afford. Cash bars completely go against good manners.</div><div>
</div><div>Venues will often let you pay for an open bar by consumption or per person. Figure out your crowd and which way would be cheaper. We're paying for an open bar per person because we know there will be a lot of drinkers in our crowd.</div>

Swazzle · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_bar-service?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:404ecb6c-9274-456b-a281-b37cdae11637Post:cea0e863-2b9d-44c6-b20c-d9ade4c3110d">Re: Bar Service.!</a>:
[QUOTE]I think many ladies on TK forget how diverse this country is! There are many subcultures even within larger areas. Know your crowd :) I tend to think open bar is a better policy because personally I'm always sad with cash bars and no cocktails, but that is also very much the culture in which I grew up and operate in. <strong>Also, you might have a good reason to try and limit drinking...if your friends are going to get totally trashed if there is an open bar and that is an issue for you then cash bar is probably a good option.</strong> At our venue we either have to bring in a bar service or bring in our own drinks and hire bar tenders (probably going with option #2). Part of my guest list is a little tick of non drinkers so we can factor that into numbers who will drink. Some people we don't know, so they are assumed drinkers, but I have a quite a few friends and family who I know won't drink anything, or at most will drink 1 glass of wine or something. Even with open bar at your venue you might be able to do something like that...let them know that while you have x number of adults (i assume they would not charge for kids) x number do not drink at all if you have those.
Posted by lalans[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I personally don't think this should weigh on whether you have an open bar or a cash bar. You should trust your guests to be responsible rather than trying to limit their number of drinks by having a cash bar.

</div>

zubrod1 · July 2012

We're having a limited open bar with beer, wine, champagne, and a signature cocktail.

turtleslove · July 2012

Our venue is free because the golf course provides the bar service. Rude or not, i always plan ahead to bring cash because liquor is rarely free around here, its usually just beer. Hate me all you want but with the alcoholism in our families I am not encouraging anyone to drink, and I am not paying for anyones bar tab. I detest going to weddings and watching people spill their drinks on the dance floor (even inside) and making a mess, and people getting into fights. It ruins the fun. No not everyone is like this, however I know this is WI and I know what my guests are like. We will be providing a midnight snack and we will not be doing other activities like the dollar dance that would make guests pay for anything. I'm spending $3000+ on entertainment so my guests will make memories and not regrets.

With so many non traditional weddings these days I really think wedding "ettiquite" is subjective. The point to to make it the celebration of your marraige that you want, and show your guests a great time.

bburkel · July 2012

Cash bars are fine. Or, offer beer and wine complimentary, and anything else, people have to buy themselves. You can't please everyone and if they don't like what you're offering, then they can buy their own.

Our venue offered us drink tickets at a reduced rate that we can buy ahead of time and sell to our guests. We may use that option too, in addition to free beer and wine.

melb2013 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_bar-service?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:404ecb6c-9274-456b-a281-b37cdae11637Post:0309066d-b9a2-4cc9-af0c-141016ad4c17">Re: Bar Service.!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bar Service.! : I personally don't think this should weigh on whether you have an open bar or a cash bar. You should trust your guests to be responsible rather than trying to limit their number of drinks by having a cash bar.
Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Duhhh personal responsiblity, folks. If people can control themselves when they go out to a club or a restaurant, then they can control themselves at your wedding. I've never seen anybody in our crowd drive drunk.

</div>

Swazzle · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_bar-service?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:404ecb6c-9274-456b-a281-b37cdae11637Post:6957a261-a359-4fcb-8813-0bd4d8691eb2">Re: Bar Service.!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bar Service.! : Duhhh personal responsiblity, folks. If people can control themselves when they go out to a club or a restaurant, then they can control themselves at your wedding. I've never seen anybody in our crowd drive drunk.
Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]

<div>Exactly!</div>

hisbabygirl76 · July 2012

I guess its different for regions and maybe even for age generations.

Personal responsiblity doesnt come into play when LEGALLY the host is responsible when you have an open bar, Many places here wont even give the option of a full night of open bar because of the legall issues in our state.

I have seen too many times with too many people over indulging on a cash bar, I shutter to think what it would have been like with an open bar. Guess its just personal preference.

FLGatorGal88 · July 2012

We are doing an open bar but we are only serving wine, beer, and champagne for the toast we also get to bring in our alcohol which is much cheaper!!!! I have been to 1 wedding that had a cash bar and I didn't think it was rude. I just didn't drink that night. Have you considered having 2 or 3 signature cocktails that you could serve throughout the night or maybe just serve beer and wine to cut down cost?

shano06 · July 2012

Thanks ladies.! So now we're thinking about paying a tab, and have the bar open until tht tab runs out. And then a cash bar after. Our venue said most people when they put up a tab. It almost never runs out. That's because couples know ahead of time about how many ppl will be drinking. I see that each area is different because most of the weddings I've attended have had cash bars. So what do yu think about tht.??

turtleslove · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_bar-service?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:404ecb6c-9274-456b-a281-b37cdae11637Post:40c55b6f-34f8-48a2-82dd-6c0cb38353d6">Re:Bar Service.!</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks ladies.! So now we're thinking about paying a tab, and have the bar open until tht tab runs out. And then a cash bar after. Our venue said most people when they put up a tab. It almost never runs out. That's because couples know ahead of time about how many ppl will be drinking. I see that each area is different because most of the weddings I've attended have had cash bars. So what do yu think about tht.??
Posted by shano06[/QUOTE]

If you can afford it that is a great idea! We were considering something like this, but we decided to splurge on our guests in other areas. In our region people ususally provide free beer and sometimes wine. Go with your gut, and I am sure no matter what you choose the people that love you and your FI will just be happy to celebrate with you!

hisbabygirl76 · July 2012

" Go with your gut, and I am sure no matter what you choose the people that love you and your FI will just be happy to celebrate with you!"

Ditto this

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