Help...who to choose?!! family drama

Re: Help...who to choose?!! family drama

• ashleyjgetsmarried

  

  February 2013 edited February 2013

  Just have the one bridesmaid. 

  Planning Bio!! Follow me on Pinterest!

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• banana468 member

  

  February 2013

  I think it's fine to have just the one and in your case that's the best way to go.
  
  I've attended MANY weddings now with lopsided bridal parties and I think it's what helps keep the couple unique.

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• AddieCake member

  

  February 2013

  Just have one. You are fretting over nothing.

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• mlg78 member

  

  February 2013

  You're selecting your bridal party WAY too far out as it is.  Your wedding is well over a year away.  Slow down.  Relationships change anyway.  Two years ago I wouldn't have believed that 3 of my 4 members of my bridal party would be in my wedding...

  
  

  That being said, just have one...or none...or eight...just make it those who are nearest and dearest to you in your life.

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• VannaO member

  

  February 2013

  I agree with most of the posts above but I'd like to emphasize: It's YOUR WEDDING!!!

  Don't forget that along any part of the process, the more you get done between yourself and your fiance, the more that you will love your special day!! When you start introducing people into the mix, all YOUR ideas start getting lost. (Unless you don't have any idea about what you want). Make sure you look at those pictures 20 years down the road and don't regret any part of it!! I'm sure things will turn out great. Good Luck!!

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• slgirl21 member

  

  February 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_helpwho-to-choose-family-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4c4d0422-8f0f-4fac-b9dc-b19641eb4a4aPost:6e3ea365-efd7-41ec-8b2a-15f08d79fe77">Help...who to choose?!! family drama</a>:
  [QUOTE]My wedding is next summer and with planning I'm having the worst time picking bridesmaids, when I think of it I want to bawl! I have asked my BFF who has been there since kindergarten,   Here's the issue, I have no sisters, neither does my fiance, my cousins are all older(married with kids),<strong> I have a good firend I grew up with (infact they called us the three stooges with my bff and i) but since highschool we got busy with our own things and only see each other on holidays and the occasional get togethers, but when we do, nothing has changed.</strong> The question is do I ask her to be a bridesmaid or do I ask a friend ive only known a year or two. ?     Also my older cousin and I have been close since i can remember but have also drifted due to her bringing lies and drama into my life, but we always forget it and pretend nothing happend. I still hurt from it and my finance doesnt think I should have her as a bridesmaid because of the pain she brought into my life the last couple years. But im worried about upsetting her! Just two weeks ago she cornerd me saying She better be a bridesmaid and HER daughter!!!!! HELP!!!!!  
  Posted by 0jlynn0[/QUOTE]
  
  I have a good friend that I dont' speak to every day but we do speak and she always makes attempts to see me when she visits her dad who still lives here (fla) and its like nothing has changed, and I asked her to be my matron of honor and she couldnt be happier. You can have as many or as little BM's as you want. If your cousin is making demands already I would vote her out, family shouldn't do that.I would have your BFF and your other friend. Being a guest is an honor as well. GL <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-cool.gif" border="0" alt="Cool" title="Cool" />

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• Jen4948 member

  

  February 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_helpwho-to-choose-family-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4c4d0422-8f0f-4fac-b9dc-b19641eb4a4aPost:df8b6cca-24fb-42fc-bf19-f9022944dfbf">Re: Help...who to choose?!! family drama</a>:
  [QUOTE]Anybody who corners someone and says they "had better be a bridesmaid AND their daughter" should be eliminated on principle, even if the bride planned on asking them! Never enable rude, bad behavior. You do know that uneven sides are fine, don't you? Have the one bridesmaid. You can also not ask anyone. You can say, "I have too many friends and family members to pick and choose. I couldn't posssibly, so I won't have a wedding party at all."  Are you close to your mother or grandmother? Ask them if they're still living! That's a lovely gesture, and often done in my social set. (The father of the groom is usually Best Man.) If someone tries to horn in on your wedding party, say: "Thank you for offering, but I have already selected my wedding party."  Repeat as necessary. Keep repeating it, regardless of what they say. Nobody can take advantage of you without your consent, and NO is not a four-letter word. See my thread below on "the beauty of no."
  Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]
  
  This in its entirety.

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• Kaniesha

  

  February 2013

  I had a very similar set up.  The most important thing to remember is "your wedding is about you and your soon to be husband", not everyone else.  Put the people in your wedding that have been there to support you and that you have good history with.  Alot of woman want to be a bridesmaid just so that they can stand in the lime light.  It's really not about that.  Make your decision and don't feel guilty.  I too was cornered by 2 of my cousins that I am close to but not as close as I am to my friends, and I did not put either of them in my wedding.  In my opinion, it is selfish to put that kind of stress on the bride to be.  Also, there are other roles to fill in a wedding.  (hostess/ushers, scripture readings, coordinator).  Hopefully this helps.

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