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Time between ceremony and reception?

decaprio22decaprio22
First Comment
in Massachusetts-Boston
We are getting married in the fall but the church can only do a ceremony at 1:30 or 6pm. We don't want to do 6pm because it would be too late but if we do the 1:30pm time, then the reception would have to end at 9 or 10pm. Should we have the cocktail reception go for 2 hours (3-5) and then extend the reception an hour so it goes from 5-10pm? Has anyone else encountered this issue and what have you done? I don't want our wedding to end up being "lame" because it has to end early.

Any ideas are welcome!
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Re: Time between ceremony and reception?

  • shannie11shannie11 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    My wedding isn't until 6:30 in the evening.  However my reception is at the location where I am getting married.  How far away is the church from your venue?  Why is 6:00 too late?  Personally I would rather eat a little later then to have to wait around all day to get to the reception.  Some people might even skip your ceremony and just go to the reception if there is such a big gap.
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  • decaprio22decaprio22
    First Comment
    The church is not far away (about 10-15 minutes); we would have the ceremony onsite but it would have to be outside and since the wedding is in November it could be very cold (it is at the Searles Castle in Windham NH). We have a lot of older people coming and the feedback is that a 7:00 cocktail reception would be too late but maybe I should just push back and tell the family to get over it. it gets dark early at that time too so we want to make sure we have daylight to take pictures so we would have to take the pictures before the ceremony which would be sad because I always envisioned my fiance seeing me for the first time in my dress when I walk down the aisle. Do you have more young people than old coming to yours? Or is my family just being difficult!!?? Sigh.
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  • HockeyFan4HockeyFan4 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Combo Breaker
    perhaps I am just getting old...but I would rather the earlier time.  I would be able to see where I am going (still light out) when I might not know, I would be able to enjoy the view of the outside fall colors, and i would feel like I could drive home without having to leave your reception early in order to get home at a reasonable hour.

    If you want your FI to see you for the first time on the aisle and you want to do outdoor pictures, the earlier start time is the way to go.
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  • kt8301kt8301 member
    10 Comments
    FWIW, we had a 2:30 ceremony time and the reception ended a little after 8P (in October).  I don't think people minded the night ending on the earlier side. 

    As a guest, I would rather go right from church to reception than to have a gap.  What would guests do to kill 2 hours?

    Esp. if you want to do pictures AFTER the ceremony, I don't think you'll have much daylight (if any?) at 7P in November!
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  • arimeloarimelo
    10 Comments
    I think bc of the time of year, 1:30 pm makes more sense for you. I'm having the same concern, mywedding is at a church at 2pm, and bc it's on Sept 1 and it's on Cape Cod, I want to go down to the beach and take pictures in between (20 min from chruch). At the same time, I dont want my guests waiting around for too long. So I'm almost decided in having 1 hour gap, then the reception starts at 4pm, but I'm aware our photos would probably take longer than that.

    Good luck!
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  • shannie11shannie11 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    Then I suggest doing what is important to you.  We are doing a first look for our pictures.  I want that moment to be private.  My fiance isn't one to show his emotion in front of a room full of people.  I do have a mixture of people coming but most are in there 30's.  If people have to wait then do the two hour cockail hour but I don't think I would add on an additional hour to the reception.  I am sure you and your guests will have a good time!
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  • MrsGandthebeagMrsGandthebeag member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    If I were you I'd go with the earlier start due to the time of year.  But, that said, I would not drag out your reception until 10pm.  I would never stay that long as a guest.  Just do the normal 5 hour reception.  Weddings aren't an all day affair.  
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  • rachelaedwardsrachelaedwards
    10 Comments
    I am in a similar boat! My church can only have a 1:30 - 2:30 mass.  My church is in Canton, MA and then guests will have to drive to Providence(where the reception is) it is about a 40 minute drive.  My cocktail hour does not start till 5PM.  So people will have about 1hour - 1.5 hours to kill on there own. (minus the drive time)

    I am in December - so I am happy the ceremony is early - so I can have some daylight photos, but do feel bad guests will have to kill some time.

    My room block is in Providence, so I assume OOT guests can go to there hotel and check in etc. in between (and there is a free shuttle to our reception from the hotel), and the rest of my local guests are 28-32 and i assume will go to a bar on the way.  I worried about this for a while - but I am at a point where I figure people will just have to deal :)
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  • Kricciar1029Kricciar1029
    10 Comments
    I think earlier is the way to go!  You could do a 3:30 to 8:30 or something like that.  Your wedding will not be lame because it gets over earlier.  If anything, I think more people will stay until the very very end.  If it ended at midnight, the people who are not staying in hotels may leave slightly earlier because they dont want to drive home too late at night.  Plus, since  it gets dark early in November, it will still have an evening feel. 

    Always leave them wanting more!  I would rather have my wedding end at 8:30 and have everyone wish they could have stayed longer than the alternative.
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  • noodle_oonoodle_oo member
    1000 Comments
    edited March 2012
    I was a BM in a wedding for my friend in late October.  Her ceremony was at 2 PM at a church, then cocktail hour and reception.  We had an *amazing* time, danced all night and were *exhausted*.  We get back to the car and I was in shock when I realized it was only 9 PM!!  I actually thought it was like 11:30 PM.  I was also *so* excited, we had an amazing night and it was actually really nice to get home at a reasonable hour.

    My point?  No one really noticed that it was an earlier wedding.  Especially since you are getting married in November, it will get dark early so I don't think you'll end up with a "lame" wedding. People will have a blast and honestly, an early wedding is way better than a late evening wedding (unless most of your guest list is under 25). If you start at like 7 PM, you will have a LOT of people leave early. I'd rather go to an earlier wedding and stay the whole time than go to a later wedding where half the guest list leaves 3 hours in at 10 PM.
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  • love2naplove2nap member
    100 Comments
    I know I'm a little late to the discussion, but my vote is early, especially in November. I would do:

    1:30- Ceremony at the Church ( How long? Full Catholic Mass or short & sweet?)
    2:30-4pm- Cocktail Hour (Adjust depending on length, but I'm building an extra 1/2 base on travel time too, since people will arrive differently)
    4pm-9pm- Dinner/Dancing

    You can also have an after party after your venue. My cousin had a brunch wedding and it ended at 2pm, and then my Aunt had everyone over for a casual after party, where we drank, played volleyball, croquet, etc until midnight. You can have an after party at someone's house, a bar, another venue or even rent out a house or another space. Just because you're out of the venue doesn't mean you have to stop celebrating :) Just don't expect everyone to come, but invite everyone or make a VIP after party.
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