Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower

MeganNN12 · December 2011

Hi everyone! So my bridal shower was last night. The only people who came are the people who threw it. My future Mom (I don't like the in-law term), my future Aunt, my MOH, my future sister and I. We ended up calling my FI and his brother's family to come join us at the shower because it was not very fun only having 5 people. We ended up web-caming my parents into the shower from PA so that was cool too. After the shower my FI's mom and I talked about the poor turnout and are trying to figure out reasons why no one showed up. No one even rsvp'd either way. Did the invites get lost in the mail? I guess we are wondering about what to do now. Do we try to have another shower since no one but the people who threw the shower came? I was really hoping to get a lot of stuff for our place, but only got a few things. My birthday is 4 days before our wedding... could we have a birthday party for me that is also a shower? Thoughts or ideas welcome. We are so puzzled.

joysyear · December 2011

Wow I'm really sorry to hear that. Who was in charge of the guest list. They probably should have called people who didn't rsvp to find out if they where able to come.
I probably would not throw another shower though.

Kate504 · December 2011

I understand your disappointment. I've thrown a shower were only the people who threw it were there and I was disappointed. At my shower none of my fi's family came except for his sister who complained about coming and left after 20 minutes and his cousin's wife who called me an hour before telling me she may have to leave early (it was for a reason that was just crazy and she was driving far so she might as well have not come, but she came and stayed because of he poor turn out by fi's family I think). I feel your pain, I was disappoint in my shower turn out, but I can't have another, there is no time in my busy schedule. If you feel you have the time and people will throw you one I dont see why not. Remember the holidays are here so people are busy. It was a Friday night so that may have been a reason for the poor showing?

shellyamf · December 2011

I understand. I too had very few people, only about 8 or so with all but two being my family. I was very dissappointed but my sister who threw me the shower didn't send out the invites until about a week before so I was better prepared knowing there wouldn't be much of a turn out.

It is the Holiday season and a lot of people have school Christmas things for their kids, or work parties. You could try to do another shower closer to the wedding if you have someone willing to throw it for you.

TaraW1979 · December 2011

I'm sorry you had such a poor turnout. I know how you feel because my entire life every party I've ever thrown about half of the guests don't come and I always get so upset. Over the years I've learned to be thankful for the friends that did come because they are my true friends.

My shower is tomorrow and we are expecting about 19, but I'm thinking maybe at the last minute people won't show. My sister said about 6 people didn't even RSVP back. I think that's terribly rude. The people that did RSVP is mostly FI's family. Some of my so-called friends didn't even respond.

If I were you I wouldn't have another shower. Since your birthday is coming up just have a birthday party. You'll probably have a decent turnout to that,don't you think?

hippolover · December 2011

As PPs have said. I am sorry, that really sucks. Maybe people will get your a better wedding gift knowing they didn't get you a shower gift?

jtmh2012 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddingchannel.com/main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_mixed-feelings-after-poor-turnout-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:88d59d0e-8cb3-446a-bb60-e371813091adPost:bef05504-165a-4ecd-877a-db413428725e">Re: Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry you had such a poor turnout. I know how you feel because my entire life every party I've ever thrown about half of the guests don't come and I always get so upset. Over the years I've learned to be thankful for the friends that did come because they are my true friends.
Posted by TaraW1979[/QUOTE]

I'm slowly learning this lesson. I invtied about 100 people over to my house for a cookout and only have about 17. Kinda disappointing when you think about it. This was with a month's notice.

=missy= · December 2011

I'm so sorry. Maybe you can have a small, informal shower later? Have you had your bachelorette party yet? You could meet at a restaurant before the real partying, and invite a few extra people?

DeeDee00 · December 2011

For my shower several people didn't get their invitations and I realized it two days before the shower!!!

sassygirl5401 · December 2011

I am sorry you had a bad turn out to your shower! If it makes you feel any better none of my "friends" showed up to mine, it was only family. What is it with people?

I think you should not throw another shower but have a birthday party instead. I hope you get what you need at your wedding if nothing else.

HaylaC · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_mixed-feelings-after-poor-turnout-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:88d59d0e-8cb3-446a-bb60-e371813091adPost:4d40d7d4-4667-462c-82b9-f6d0ec40a8a4">Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi everyone! So my bridal shower was last night. The only people who came are the people who threw it. My future Mom (I don't like the in-law term), my future Aunt, my MOH, my future sister and I. We ended up calling my FI and his brother's family to come join us at the shower because it was not very fun only having 5 people. We ended up web-caming my parents into the shower from PA so that was cool too. After the shower my FI's mom and I talked about the poor turnout and are trying to figure out reasons why no one showed up. No one even rsvp'd either way. Did the invites get lost in the mail? I guess we are wondering about what to do now. Do we try to have another shower since no one but the people who threw the shower came? I was really hoping to get a lot of stuff for our place, but only got a few things. My birthday is 4 days before our wedding... could we have a birthday party for me that is also a shower? Thoughts or ideas welcome. We are so puzzled.
Posted by MeganNN12[/QUOTE]

i know im not on this board, but i just saw this post. I sympathised with you about the poor turnout until the bolded part. Is this the reason you are upset people didnt come? seriously? how gift grabby.

Rdh2MrsOMFS · December 2011

I'm really sorry for the poor turnout. That sucks and I'm sorry that your feelings were hurt. If I'm reading correctly was your shower on a Friday night? I've never heard of this. Every bridal shower that I've ever gone to has been on a Saturday and/or Sunday afternoon. Was there a specific reason for your hosts throwing it on a Friday night? The reason I'm asking is because I'd be very hestitant going to a bridal shower on a friday evening as my Weekend nights are usually reserved for dinner with FI, drinks, dancing, etc.---I just think that it's a bit odd, unless of course, it was a stok the bar party or engagement party/something along those lines. That may have been the reason for the poor turnout? Whatever the reason, I'm sorry for the poor turnout.

sassygirl5401 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_mixed-feelings-after-poor-turnout-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:88d59d0e-8cb3-446a-bb60-e371813091adPost:a889cfe8-7829-4184-97d4-a107fe677d99">Re: Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower : i know im not on this board, but i just saw this post. I sympathised with you about the poor turnout until the bolded part. Is this the reason you are upset people didnt come? seriously? how gift grabby.
Posted by HaylaC[/QUOTE]

Thank you so much for stopping by, however on this board we are not judgy of other people. So what if she was looking forward to recieving gifts to help make her house a home.

MeganNN12 · December 2011

I
in Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_mixed-feelings-after-poor-turnout-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:88d59d0e-8cb3-446a-bb60-e371813091adPost:dbc104dd-c341-4086-b438-44856a2a562a">Re: Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower : Thank you so much for stopping by, however on this board we are not judgy of other people. So what if she was looking forward to recieving gifts to help make her house a home.
Posted by sassygirl5401[/QUOTE]

Thank you so much for standing up for me. Some people on here can be so rude.

MeganNN12 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_mixed-feelings-after-poor-turnout-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:88d59d0e-8cb3-446a-bb60-e371813091adPost:e64024ad-525c-4409-a2e9-c038ec6199de">Re: Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE] If I'm reading correctly was your shower on a Friday night? I've never heard of this. Every bridal shower that I've ever gone to has been on a Saturday and/or Sunday afternoon. Was there a specific reason for your hosts throwing it on a Friday night? Posted by Rdh2MrsOMFS[/QUOTE]

They held my shower on a Friday night because of my work schedule. I work in retail at the mall and work every weekend. Also because of our religious beliefs. We keep Sabbath Friday night sunset to Saturday night sunset. We don't have parties during that time. We made sure we set the Shower to start before Sunset. Our religion is also the reason we chose to have the wedding on a Sunday. If we do try to have a shower again we would try for a Sunday.

hippolover · December 2011

Well said Sassy!!!!!

CamilleJon · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_mixed-feelings-after-poor-turnout-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:88d59d0e-8cb3-446a-bb60-e371813091adPost:a889cfe8-7829-4184-97d4-a107fe677d99">Re: Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower : i know im not on this board, but i just saw this post. I sympathised with you about the poor turnout until the bolded part. Is this the reason you are upset people didnt come? seriously? how gift grabby.
Posted by HaylaC[/QUOTE]

If you want to start lame drama go hang out on the E board.

OP: Sorry you didn't have a great turnout. People were probably working, or had a family function, or work party or something... I know I have something going on every weekend until mid-January. It is just SUCH a busy time right now for people. I wouldn't dwell on it!

HaylaC · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_mixed-feelings-after-poor-turnout-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:88d59d0e-8cb3-446a-bb60-e371813091adPost:dbc104dd-c341-4086-b438-44856a2a562a">Re: Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower : Thank you so much for stopping by, however on this board we are not judgy of other people. So what if she was looking forward to recieving gifts to help make her house a home.
Posted by sassygirl5401[/QUOTE]

Looking forward to receiving gifts is fine. However to be upset about not many showing up to your shower just because you didnt get enough gifts, and to then want to throw a second party to get some more, is not. Will OP have a second wedding if people dont bring enough gifts to that? I stand by my comment that her attitude is gift grabby.

I am not starting drama, i'm giving my opinion as i am free to do. If you dont agree with it thats fine.

awarm014 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_mixed-feelings-after-poor-turnout-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:88d59d0e-8cb3-446a-bb60-e371813091adPost:70d67b87-d241-4a82-8087-358a5d6509ef">Re: Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower : Looking forward to receiving gifts is fine. However to be upset about not many showing up to your shower just because you didnt get enough gifts, and to then want to throw a second party to get some more, is not. Will OP have a second wedding if people dont bring enough gifts to that? I stand by my comment that her attitude is gift grabby. I am not starting drama, i'm giving my opinion as i am free to do. If you dont agree with it thats fine.
Posted by HaylaC[/QUOTE]
Did you ever hear the the saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it at all"? Well If you don't have anything nice to say on our board, then please stay off. She is expressing her disappointment. this is a time and a place to say how we really feel, even if it might not be appropriate. We are all going through the same things, and have a right to vent as we please.

jtmh2012 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddingchannel.com/main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_mixed-feelings-after-poor-turnout-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:88d59d0e-8cb3-446a-bb60-e371813091adPost:dbc104dd-c341-4086-b438-44856a2a562a">Re: Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower : Thank you so much for stopping by, however on this board we are not judgy of other people. So what if she was looking forward to recieving gifts to help make her house a home.
Posted by sassygirl5401[/QUOTE]

Or sometimes people just like being able to sit there with their friends and have the excitement of opening all the gifts with their friends.

I think at the end of the day, we all realize that when the turnout isn't what we expected it's not that we just wanted the gifts, but that we wanted our friends to set aside part of their time to come support us, we want the fun of being able to sit there and open the presents our friends gave us. I don't think any of us have ever sat here and said I need Sally, Jessica, and Susie to show up so I'll get the mixes, dishes, cups, whatever for my house.

jtmh2012 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddingchannel.com/main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_mixed-feelings-after-poor-turnout-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:88d59d0e-8cb3-446a-bb60-e371813091adPost:a889cfe8-7829-4184-97d4-a107fe677d99">Re: Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower : i know im not on this board, but i just saw this post. I sympathised with you about the poor turnout until the bolded part. Is this the reason you are upset people didnt come? seriously? how gift grabby.
Posted by HaylaC[/QUOTE]

Hayla: The OP here was clearly upset about the turnout to her party. I'm sure for reasons other than just the presents. Comments like this are not helpful and are just plain snarky. While it might be ok on ettiquite and other boards, we're a happy little group and would like to keep it that way.

shannon41885 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_mixed-feelings-after-poor-turnout-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:88d59d0e-8cb3-446a-bb60-e371813091adPost:a889cfe8-7829-4184-97d4-a107fe677d99">Re: Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower : i know im not on this board, but i just saw this post. I sympathised with you about the poor turnout until the bolded part. Is this the reason you are upset people didnt come? seriously? how gift grabby.
Posted by HaylaC[/QUOTE]

Let's just keep it this way! :) Thanks for stopping by!

CamilleJon · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_mixed-feelings-after-poor-turnout-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:88d59d0e-8cb3-446a-bb60-e371813091adPost:70d67b87-d241-4a82-8087-358a5d6509ef">Re: Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower : Looking forward to receiving gifts is fine. However to be upset about not many showing up to your shower just because you didnt get enough gifts, and to then want to throw a second party to get some more, is not. Will OP have a second wedding if people dont bring enough gifts to that? I stand by my comment that her attitude is gift grabby. I am not starting drama, i'm giving my opinion as i am free to do. If you dont agree with it thats fine.
Posted by HaylaC[/QUOTE]

Seriously?
You went out of your way to voice your lame opinin on a board for people getting married in January 2012. Judging from your siggy pic, I'm pretty sure you don't belong here. You can give me your "it's a public froum and I am free to give my opinion" defense, but that just makes you look pathetic and bored.

Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower

Re: Mixed feelings after poor turnout @ Bridal Shower

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