Deciding on a menu vs. your guests?

malejos0226 · December 2011

When deciding on what your menu will be for catering how much of the menu are you basing on what you like as opposed to guests, or family members likes/dislikes?

melb2013 · December 2011

My family is mostly Jewish, so there will be no pork or shellfish, and my fiancé's family is Hindu and Hindu people don't eat beef, so there will be no beef. My fiance and I don't abide by those dietary restrictions, but we will for the wedding to make our guests comfortable. We got a choice of soup and we are choosing clam chowder because we live in New England and most of our guests are visiting from other parts of the country, so we thought that would be nice. Otherwise, we are choosing foods that we like (having a pasta station, lamb carving station, grilled swordfish station, clam chowder and salad station)

malejos0226 · December 2011

Well, I think for now I have narrowed it down to either a BBQ selection of beef, sausage and ham type set up or a homestyle favorites of fried catfish, chicken fried steak, and chicken fried chicken with various sides. My concern is that my mother and grandmother will obviously be there but are almost phobic of the last three items I mentioned. They aren't big on fried foods in general but I know those for sure they tend to not eat if they will eat it at all, and they tend to complain no matter what is going on, so I feel like I HAVE to accomodate them because otherwise I'll hear complaints and that's one of the things that drives me insane about my mother and that's the last thing I want on my special day. If we went the other route, my sister and her husband don't eat pork, but I don't really care whether they do or not (for personal reasons). But everyone else I believe would eat either of those. So I'm not sure what to do.

littleluckypenny · December 2011

We picked what we would like to eat and then considered what the majority of guests will eat. I picked fish because I LOVED it when I ordered it (reception is at a restaurant) and FI had chicken cordon bleu. Majority of my family only eats poultry and seafood, his family eats EVERYTHING, so this works for us. I'm also going to have the caterer make some cordon bleus without the ham so my family can have some. Also has a vegetarian option as there are a handful in my family (sometimes a lot of us in my family just don't want any protein; we're weird like that).

leogirl13 · December 2011

Take into account any relgious/cultural items your guests may or may not eat then see if anyone has any dietary concerns like vegitarian/vegan, allergies and the like.After that it's pretty much up to you. I would offer 3 or 4 selections and be done. The majority will find something to eat within them.

malejos0226 · December 2011

The only religious concern would be my sister and her husband, but I'm only inviting them because of my parents. They aren't hindu or jewish but some "non denominational" religion where it seems they pick and choose what rules they want to follow and when they have to follow them. But like I said I have no real concern for what those two want. She doesn't like fried food like that along with my mom and grandmother but all the other 60-65 guests do. The only thing I could think of is if somehow the caterer would have an option to do grilled catfish or grilled chicken. But evenso, my sister and her husband wouldn't eat the fish anyways but at least I think my mom and grandma would eat either grilled catfish or chicken.

jessicabessica · December 2011

I think having something non-fried would be a good option, especially if you know your mom and grandma aren't big fried food fans. People may want to have a lighter meal. Could your caterer do BBQ chicken or something? I don't think you need to have grilled chicken and grilled catfish--I'd just pick one, and it sounds like chicken might be more of a crowd-pleaser.

Do you have vegetarian or vegan guests?

@melb--pointing out the obvious, but you know clam chowder is shellfish, and swordfish is not universally seen as a kosher fish? If you have people coming that will eat fish/dairy out, but not unkosher meat, then I would have a different fish. You could have haddock chowder instead of clam chowder, too.

peanutty2 · December 2011

A little bit of both. I mean, I'm hosting a meal for my guests, I wouldn't want to serve food I know half of them won't eat or that the "key players" won't eat just because I like it. I went with one vegetarian option (for myself as well as a handful of others) and a chicken option. The chicken option was more basic because I have very, very picky family members. And a pasta and vegetable side that should accomodate most everyone's tastes. And I had a seperate gluten free meal for another guest.

I personaly would go with the bbq menu but substitute a chicken dish for one of the pork options. There may be others there who just want a lighter meat or don't eat red meat/pork but eat chicken. If you do something fried I wouldn't make all your options fried. I know people who like fried food but wouldn't want to jsut have that to eat at a wedding.

malejos0226 · December 2011

I would probably end up picking the grilled chicken I suppsoe.

malejos0226 · December 2011

I figure the grilled chicken is probably the best route if we do homestyle, because the more I think about it, who wants to go to a wedding to eat fried chicken which is messy..? At least with the catfish and the chicken fried steak you use a knife and fork. So if we end up that route that's probably what I will do.

This is what they have available for catering:

Catering MenuAny of the following food items can be put together to create a specific menu for your group.

Main DishesFried Chicken
Chicken Fried Steak
Fried Chicken Tenders
Fried Catfish
Grilled Chicken Tenders
Chicken & Dumplings
Vegetables & BreadsMashed Potatoes
Cream Gravy
Green Beans
Squash Casserole
Baked Beans
Black Eyed peas
Fruit salad
Candied YamsCole Slaw
Corn on Cob
Lima Beans
Pinto Beans
Okra & Tomatoes
Homemade Biscuits
Yeast Rolls
DessertsApricot Fried Pies
Cherry Cobbler
Banana Pudding

Osterizer · December 2011

As far as keeping our guests in mind, the only thing we took into account was that there would be a few vegetarians. So, we made sure there was a pasta option. Surprisingly, we had about 10 people opt for the pasta Other than that our dinner choices were pretty standard -- turkey or prime rib.

I agree with PPs. Go with a non-fried option.

omwall · December 2011

We are doing burgers, that way we could do veggie as well. We are also doing a bar of toppings and sauces for the french fries

arunkumar · December 2011

Most of my family are vegetarians and I also have a couple vegans attending the reception so I am having a vegan option. This works out for me because I later realized two guests are Muslim and can't eat the chicken entree (because it's not Halal), and one of my close friends is a pescetarian (no meat but fish is ok). The vegan entree will be ok for them too.

I have decided to serve chicken for everyone else because I am Hindu and do not eat beef, so I'd rather it not be served at my wedding (call me selfish, lol). However if I decide to choose a chicken entree with a cream sauce, I will make sure to notify anyone who is lactose intolerant, so they can choose the vegan entree too.

I did not take into consideration any other food allergies. As you can see, I have enough people to consider. I think it's important to consider your guests dietary restrictions when choosing a menu. No one wants to be hungry all night because they couldn't eat the dinner you chose.

Unless your reception is super casual, I would avoid choosing an entree you have to eat with your hands (fried chicken). Most of the food is fried though, which is not good for some people. I would choose at least one non fried entree.

ElisabethJoanne · December 2011

Our approach has been to take very seriously the tastes/health of those in our families. We've got a long list of severe allergies, including wheat and dairy, and that cuts out a lot. Also, the only green vegetable my future husband and I both like is asparagus, so we have to have that.

Beyond that, we're providing simple, familiar food and assuring ourselves that our guests are grown-ups or the children of grown-ups. Though we do know our guests' tastes alright. For example, we expect 0 vegetarians to attend, and that's realistic, because we regularly share meals with all our guests, so we know major food considerations.

Right now, we're considering being the only wedding ever (joke) to serve ham and chopped liver (not together, and, again, we can be fairly certain all our guests eat ham).

melb2013 · December 2011

@jessicabessica I know that the soup is shellfish, but my family wouldn't mind the soup- a few won't eat it, but it's not a main item. Everybody would eat swordfish in my family.

Ljacks87 · December 2011

The things I took into consideration were that some of the family is Jewish and some are vegetarians. Luckily, most of the family has about the same taste in food that we do. I knew there were a few people that were really picky eaters and wouldn't like anything except for a plain chicken breast and some fries,but I didn't make any special accomodation for them

H and I picked our menu based on what we liked, but provided 3 different options, which I thought would satisfy pretty much everyone. Filet and lobster duet with mashed potatoes (heavy option), chicken with tomato herb salsa and saffron rice (lighter option) and vegetable wellington (vegetarian option).

brandichamberlain · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_deciding-menu-vs-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:23Discussion:b2d274a6-1ec0-4b2d-9828-bd68cfe4b333Post:52dd80bd-d431-474c-a0c3-1efc36ff9b75">Re: Deciding on a menu vs. your guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]My family is mostly Jewish, so there will be <strong>no pork or shellfish</strong>, and my fiancé's family is Hindu and Hindu people don't eat beef, so there will be no beef. My fiance and I don't abide by those dietary restrictions, but we will for the wedding to make our guests comfortable. We got a choice of soup and we are choosing clam chowder because we live in New England and most of our guests are visiting from other parts of the country, so we thought that would be nice. Otherwise, we are choosing foods that we like (having a pasta station, lamb carving station, grilled swordfish station, <strong>clam chowder</strong> and salad station)
Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]

Aren't clams shellfish?

[Deleted User] · December 2011

We are doing a duo plated option of chicken/beef at our reception. We won't have a tasting for quite awhile, but figure this covers everyone's palates that are attending our reception. I plan to request a vegetarian option as well. We have a friend who alternates on/off vegan, so I'll find out closer to then for them what we can do to accommodate. We've already been assured they can make the salad course with no nuts, if needed as we have several guests who cannot consume nuts (not allergic, but diverticulitis) and it's a key ingredient in a Waldorf salad.

It's worked well for my FI and I at several events we've attended with the duo entree. I'm not a big eater, so I'm likely to take a few bites of each or will give him my beef and he'll take my chicken.

rlavach · December 2011

We're covering the bases by having beef, chicken and fish. Since I'm vegan, everything that doesn't have a meat in it will be vegan (like the pasta's and veggies). My photog & assistant are vegetarians, as well as 1-2 guests. My cupcakes will be vegan too. Other than that, we tried to pick out dishes that represent a variety of styles. So some with tomato sauce, some cream sauce, some roasted. Some Asian style, some Spanish style, etc. That way there is something for everyone. There aren't any guests with any other allergies/limitations, that I know of. I sure do hope they tell me if there is!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · January 2012

This was one of the hardest parts of the wedding for me. Due to my own beliefs, our wedding was vegetarian. Most of our guests were not. I wanted the food to be delicious and appeal to people who don't often eat vegetarian food, and who don't live in our area. Aside from the not eating meat thing, I'm a pretty adventurous eater, so it also came down to deciding if something would be "too weird" for our guests' palates vs. choosing the most delicious option, in our opinion.

We kind of went both ways. For the salad option, the best one was made of greens, watermelon, goat cheese, pecans, and a lemon-tarragon vinaigrette. Some people don't like goat cheese, some people would think watermelon in a salad was weird - but it was the tastiest salad we had. For our entrees, one of the choices was a pasta with sauteed mixed vegetables (no mushrooms, since that's a common dislike), which we thought was pretty safe. (The other option was mushroom ravioli.)

I would try to pick a variety of things so that people with allergies/dietary requirements/dislikes can choose something they can eat, but in the end, you should pick what tastes good, too.

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