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Setting the Date Trouble???

crazy*kcrazy*k member
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in Just Engaged and Proposals

Hi all, I'm new to the forum, but I'm a long time fan of the site. I just got engaged...literally..just yesterday and of course it's a little soon, but I want to start thinking about dates to bounce off my other half.
A little history without going into GREAT detail.. the proposal was completely out of the blue, we're a young couple and our home just burned down, but my fiance said he was tired of waiting for the money to be right, he felt like the time was right and he wanted to ask me to marry him. SO, the ring is still in the works, but that I'm not to worried about (I'd go ringless until the ceremony to be honest, I'm just so excited at the thought of marrying him!!). But, we've been together for 2 and..wow almost 2 and a half years now and I definately want plenty of time to plan.
Now, the date problem I'm having... originally, we thought about getting married on the day that we met/got together (we've been inseperable from day one and decided to see each other exclusively after 3 days), which would be May 21st, but to gather relatives and friends for a wedding so close to memorial day weekend (or on it depending on what day the 21st is..it may have to be pushed to a more suitable day for a wedding closer to a weekend) makes me nervous, because I wouldn't want to lose guests simply because of plans some people might already be tied to. My second choice would be to go with a "fun" date.. like 7-7-07 or 8-9-10, etc. So I was thinking 9-10-11, but that poses the problem of being to close to 9-11.
The wedding will be outdoors at a gorgeous setting on my family's farm, so I'm trying to keep heat into consideration. I would like as close to a year as possible to plan (and be engaged :) ), so I don't want to move it into March and April for fear that it'd be too soon to get so much done with so little time and not enough time to save, so if anything it would have to be after May, without getting into the hot hot months.
  I guess my questions are.. 1. How are my chances with a wedding so close to Memorial Day Weekend? 2. How inappropriate would it be to have a wedding so close to Sept. 11  and 3. Are there any ways to pick a fun date in the year 2011?
  If we don't pick our dating anniversary date, I would really like to pick something that would have some significance rather than pulling a date out of thin air. Any tips?

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Re: Setting the Date Trouble???

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Well concerning 9-11, IMO unless you lost someone on that day there is no reason not to have your wedding on or around that day. People still get married on Dec. 7 (Pearl Harbor). If we avoid celebrating anything on that day then that lets the terrorists win.

    Now addressing your concerns with picking a significant date. It will be your wedding day, it will be significant no matter what. IMO its more important to pick a date that will work best for everyone (you, your FI, your families and friends). But if you do want to go with May 21st I think you just need to talk to your non-negotiable guests (i.e. guests like your parents that you can't imagine them not being at your wedding). If it works for them then I say go for it.


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  • staceytaylor0704staceytaylor0704
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    1.)I am not sure about the holiday weekend. It may affect attendance, but if you send out STDs early enough, hopefully people will plan for the wedding.
    2.) I don't think it would be inappropriate to have a wedding near September 11th. Maybe thats just me though.
    3.) Why do you need a fun date? I guess I just don't understand this. We picked our date because we knew it would make it easiest for family to make it into town.. and its my ex's birthday! Doesn't bother me though. :) Its only a date, nothing that significant. The fact that you are getting married on that day should be significant enough- it will be memorable to you guys, ya know?
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  • crazy*kcrazy*k member
    First Comment
    I'm glad to hear everyone's opinions! I especially like the statement that if we don't celebrate anything on that day, the terrorists win..I couldn't have thought of it better and that definately put it back in the running.
    Also, I agree too that the day itself will be made significant just for being our day, I guess to me it would just seem like a sign if I could pick such a neat date and it just happened to be a great date for a wedding. Maybe picking one out of thin air would be more special come to think of it..because I could take an ordinary day and it would be ours from then on. I don't know why I overthink things! haha. But thank you ladies! Keep the great thoughts coming and I look forward to posting with you all along the way!
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  • kelsey+brandonkelsey+brandon
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    11-11-11 is a "fun" date and it falls on a friday...I know of a lot of people who are choosing that date. It should be cool enough but still not cold (especially in the South) to have an outdoor wedding. Especially having it on your families farm would help to not stress about the location, but you should look into booking your photog and other important vendors ASAP, so they don't get booked!

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  • future-mrsfuture-mrs member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments
    Be careful about "fun" dates, it may be VERY difficult to book anything on those dates because everyone likes to have those dates as wedding dates.
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  • LeenR44LeenR44
    10 Comments
    Two of my BMs got married on Memorial Day weekends.  Honestly, it was great.  Everyone had an extra day for traveling and partying!  I think as long as you send out STDs, you will have no problems.
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  • awick14awick14 member
    100 Comments
    Like kelsey said you may have troubles booking things on "special days" like 11-11-11. The prices for some vendors may even go up as the demand will be there.
    As for the 9-10-11 date i think there is nothing wrong with that date. If you go back far enough in history you would probably find a year full of dates that you would want to stay away from. And to repeat a few others the date will be special as it will be your day.

    But I may not be the best to speak on this as I said when I was younger that I was going to get married on May 14th. (My favorite month and my lucky number) But I would wait till it was on a saturday. So when my fiance proposed to me there was no doubt about when we would be getting married. (it just happen to fall on a sat in 2011) so we will be engaged for just over a year and a half!
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  • twilight.rosetwilight.rose member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Also keep in mind that the date you get married will become special by virtue of being your wedding anniversary.

    You don't have to get married on a day that already has sentimental value (ie. the day you met, started dating, etc.)

    We "chose" our date because it was the only day our fabulous reception venue had available, and the day had no meaning to us then. Now, though, after our wedding, June 19 has obviously taken on special significance.
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  • Nina9Nina9
    10 Comments
    Just my thoughts:


    1) Having a wedding near Memorial Day may actually make it *easier* for some of your guests to travel.  I know we already have a wedding booked for that Sunday.


    2) As someone who was literally on the streets of Manhattan on 9/11/2001 and had a family member perish in the attacks, I can tell you that it is absolutely fine to have a wedding on or near 9/11.  I'll be photographing a wedding this 9/11 and didn't give it a second thought.  I think most people who have personal connections to that date would rather people carried on as usual and not turn it into a date of perpetual grief.


    3) So far as "fun dates" are concerned--if it apeals to you, go for it!  Just know that a date like 9/10/11 is going to book up fast in terms of vendors, so make sure you plan ahead!
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  • CA2MT4EveRCA2MT4EveR member
    1000 Comments
    My friends birthday is September 11th. It doesn't make it any less her birthday or a mournful time because of a terrible historical even that happened on that date.  I also have another friend this year who is getting married on the 11th, the date worked for her.

    I am not a fan of holiday weddings. At all.  Many people have traditions and standing plans for holidays, and IMO asking them to change that, or have to make a decision, for you is somewhat selfish. 

    I also agree that "fun" dates can make things more difficult.  When I used to work in a floral shop, we actually charged more on those dates because they were so high demand, and because we could.  We knew no matter what, we would still book someone because there were so many people who wanted the date.

    The best thing I can tell you is to check availability with your parents because it is their farm, and to check availability with your most favored vendors (if you absolutely love a certain cake place, check to see if they are available that date).  Like PPs said, this will become a special day.  It doesn't matter if it is tied to something significant in your past or not, it is what ties your future.

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  • jzelankjzelank member
    First Comment

    yeah we were trying to see if we could find a "fun" date.... we were going to do 11/11/11 but upstate NY in November can be tricky so instead we set our date 10/1/11.... (10+1=11).

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  • hannahhannah1hannahhannah1 member
    10 Comments
    I just got married in August, and I still can't get enough of this wedding stuff, so I made a blog for brides to learn my dos and don'ts and my advise! Check it out!


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  • abgpal11abgpal11 member
    10 Comments
    As other PP have said, a lot of times 'fun dates' can be more expensive.  FI and I were initialy thinking 9-10-11 (we had already decided September for sure) but then I got to looking and things were already booked and the things that weren't were more expensive.  So we decided on the 17th, which is fine because we weren't super attached to the 10th and I'm perfectly happy with it because it's going to be our day!

    I also think you should take into consideration when as far as when you could financially afford it.  If you guys are having a hard time (SO sorry, by the way! :( that really sucks ) would it be easier on you guys to wait a little longer than next May?  I'm not being snippy - I just wanted to say that maybe you could consider when it would be feasible to get married more so than when it would be neat to get married.


    Congrats BTW!
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