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mom in law 911!

court4608court4608
10 Comments
in Moms and Maids
Quick question!!! How do I get my future mother in law to be more excited and helpful about our wedding without being rude or too pushy? She's never been an emotional person in public or anything like that but, It really bums me out when shes not excited about the conversations about the wedding plans or doesnt want to help and pitch in ideas often?
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Re: mom in law 911!

  • TheVirginiansTheVirginians member
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Be careful what you wish for!
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  • Benny618Benny618
    100 Comments
    You can invite her to be part of things but you can't force her to help.  I would just invite her to things like florist meetings, etc (if you want to) so she knows you are including her, but I would also find other things to talk about with her besides the wedding.  No one is going to be as excited about your wedding as you and your FI and that can include parents.  Only you and FI are responsible for coming up with ideas and no one is expected to help with anything.  Maybe just be thankful that you don't have a pushy FMIL who is trying to force her ideas onto you like many other brides on here.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If she has always been an unemotional person about things don't expect her to change just because you and her son are getting married.

    Yes it would be wonderful (for some) to have everyone around you jumping for joy everyday during the wedding planning process but that is just not reality.  Some women actually hate wedding planning and weddings in general.  Most have their own lives to worry about and your wedding that is over however many months away is just not on their radar.

    Just talk with her about things when they come up but don't have any expectations in regards to the response you should receive.  Just be grateful that she doesn't hate you!

    And I agree with PP, be careful what you wish for because you might get more then what you wanted and then you will be back here asking how to get your FMIL off your back.

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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Get used to it. My MIL is a stoic old yankee lady, who thinks expressing emotion is a sign of weakness. You should accept her the way she is.

    You should keep her informed of the pertinent details and ask your fi for a heads up if she tells him that she would like to be more involved.
                       
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  • romarieromarie
    10 Comments
    My FDIL is just the opposite.  Her mom and SM want NOTHING to do with her wedding.  I enjoy this stuff, so she has come to me for everything. 

    My advice is to just ask her to be involed with each thing so she can't say you didn't try.  If she choses not to, that's her thing.  Take advantage of the support group you DO have and and fun planning your wedding! 
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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mom-in-law-911?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:e01ab505-0365-400a-8cf7-025141df68baPost:227e617e-7bf2-4c50-bd9b-3850dd66fd29">mom in law 911!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Quick question!!! How do I get my future mother in law to be more excited and helpful about our wedding without being rude or too pushy? She's never been an emotional person in public or anything like that but, It really bums me out when shes not excited about the conversations about the wedding plans or doesnt want to help and pitch in ideas often?
    Posted by court4608[/QUOTE]

    It's not her job to help or pitch in ideas. Like a previous poster said, accept her the way she is.
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  • court4608court4608
    10 Comments
    well thanks for all the positive and non positive posts! :)
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