Please any ideas

jeepinmama · August 2012

My mom is a plus size woman very plus size and she will not wear a dress to my wedding and only wants to wear a pant suit but its hard to find one in her size i dont know where to look and also one one thing I am making my mother wear a bra she does not wear one now and wont but i am making her wear one cause i have other family and friend coming and its imbassing dont get me wrong i love my mother but she embaress me sometimes and i want her to look nice... She says she can just come in what she always wears a tank top no bra and capris and flip flops and its a spring wedding and very simple but eleagant and i dont know what to do... Someone please help cause i do want my mom there. I took after my dad thank god and i stay in shape and even asked her to go to the gym with me but she alwasy says she is too tired

kmmssg · August 2012

First - don't ask her to go to the gym anymore. Your mom knows she is plus size and there is so much emotional stuff that goes with that. Do not mention her size and/or weight again.

As far as how she dresses - I am willing to bet there is some emotional stuff there too. She probably dresses that way so she doesn't have to deal with trying on clothes, etc.

What can you do? Well fortunately you have some time here. Does she have a close relative like a sister who can help you? Maybe a best friend? Someone super close to her who can approach her about shopping and dressing properly. Whoever this person may be, they must be very gentle and very encouraging about this.

I am all for not dictating what people wear - especially MOBs and MOGs but as a bride I would be having a difficult time with no bra and a tank top. Have you tried googling images of plus sized mother of the bride? If you could show her a beautiful picture of a woman who is roughly her same size and compare it with a family photo of her capris and tank top, maybe she could see how truly beautiful she would be.

I wish you luck, but you need to tread very very carefully here and let her know you love her just as she is.

Edit to add - I'm a MOB and have gained about 25 pounds over the last 10 months. I need to lose weight. In all honesty, the LAST person I want to go to the gym with is someone who is skinny and in shape. I don't need that thrown in my face, even though it may not be the intent. I want to work out with a peer who has some similar goals and needs to get fit. Nix the gym invitations.

MairePoppy · August 2012

Usually I say let mom worry about her own outfit. But if she hasn't shopped for awhile, she may not know where to start.

Try this website. There are many special occasion separates, including pants, as well as dresses in plus sizes from various retailers. Your mom may be able to find a 3 piece outfit that includes a jacket or cover-up, just in case you can't convince her to wear a bra.

http://www.onestopplus.com/Plus-Size-Special-Occasion.aspx?pageno=2&DeptId=11606&ros=60

If your mom refuses to dress appropriately, remember, it's no reflection on you. Good luck.

MairePoppy · August 2012

I agree with kmmssg. It does more harm than good to pester your mom about her weight. Your mom probably dresses the way she does because she feels badly about herself. She needs to see that plus-size ladies can be fashionable and attractive.

CrishTaition · August 2012

Hello Friends,

There are many places to find plus size dresses online. With that being said,
I would suggest you make appointments at a Wedding Crafts such as Diyweddingsmag to try on dresses. Being a plus size girl myself, I have already went to try on dresses once and found out different styles will look different on me. Some of the styles look awful on the other hand. Diyweddingsmag has many sizes from 0-36 and their staff is very helpful. Of course on my first visit, I didn't find the dress so I will go back the end of next month. It really helps to know what styles and silouettes look good on you before you purchase.
You really don't want to buy a dress that ends up just hanging off of you.

Thanks and Regards.
Crish Taition

Wedding Projects

m tulli · August 2012

Being plus size I will say it can be frustrating to shop if you don't know where to go. I would do research ahead of time and try to find places that carry plus size options in her size. This will hopefully keep her from feeling discouraged. If your looking for something semi casual check lane Bryant they have a decent selection. I know for wedding dresses David's bridal and Alfred Angelo stores have plus size in store. Maybe they do for MOB dresses as well. You could jump over to the plus size forum and ask the girls for store recommendations they might have more options. I would make a day of it maybe take mom for lunch and pamper her a little. It could just be poor self esteem and the fear or going out side her comfort zone that is holding her back so be patient.

Muffin'sMom · August 2012

The one other thing I might suggest...does she have a plus size relative or friend that might be helpful? It is difficult to shop with size 4's when you are an 18 plus. Shopping with someone who "gets it" is way better!

Amsdragonfly · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_please-any-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:be682a58-22c4-4cd2-8a17-44eeec2741efPost:8d7927c1-d537-44a5-ac43-9a8ed5a73b9a">Re: Please any ideas</a>:
[QUOTE]First - don't ask her to go to the gym anymore. Your mom knows she is plus size and there is so much emotional stuff that goes with that. Do not mention her size and/or weight again. As far as how she dresses - I am willing to bet there is some emotional stuff there too. She probably dresses that way so she doesn't have to deal with trying on clothes, etc. What can you do? Well fortunately you have some time here. Does she have a close relative like a sister who can help you? Maybe a best friend? Someone super close to her who can approach her about shopping and dressing properly. Whoever this person may be, they must be very gentle and very encouraging about this. I am all for not dictating what people wear - especially MOBs and MOGs but as a bride I would be having a difficult time with no bra and a tank top. Have you tried googling images of plus sized mother of the bride? If you could show her a beautiful picture of a woman who is roughly her same size and compare it with a family photo of her capris and tank top, maybe she could see how truly beautiful she would be. I wish you luck, but you need to tread very very carefully here and let her know you love her just as she is. Edit to add - I'm a MOB and have gained about 25 pounds over the last 10 months. I need to lose weight. In all honesty, the LAST person I want to go to the gym with is someone who is skinny and in shape. I don't need that thrown in my face, even though it may not be the intent. I want to work out with a peer who has some similar goals and needs to get fit. Nix the gym invitations.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

<div>This was perfect. I have a plus sized Matron of Honor and she is able to find things that look great at David's. Show her that plus sized ladies can be really beautiful!!</div>

Please any ideas

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