Dance Crashers

gingercountrygirl · October 2012

Hey, I'm mainly posting to see if this is common in any other small town/area. Also, I'm curious to see how other brides would react if this was the case in their location or what people's opinions are.

I'm from a very rural area in South Dakota, and somehow it became the 'norm' for the younger crowd (high school and 20's/early 30's) to go to every wedding dance that is in town even if you weren't invited and if you don't know the couple that well (or, really, at all). It's seen as something to do on a Saturday night, reason to drink (or for minors, to get alcohol), and I guess it gives them "cred" for being able to join in the conversation Monday morning about the weekend dance. My friends and I never did this as we thought it was rude and quite frankly, desperate and pathetic. Often times the local DJ's will post on their personal and business facebook page "Come on down", etc. Guests in the "crashing" age group will text their friends and a ripple effect commences.

I really don't want to see the high school snob pretending to be nice to me and FI just so she can grind her bottom against some guy's groin.

Anywho, has anyone ever heard of this or have something similar in their area? Opinions? Thoughts? Reactions?

samantha24p · October 2012

Oh god I don't know what I'd do. I know our venue isn't that big so we'd probably have crashes removed. How bad is it for the DJs to invite them to crash. I'm surprised the DJs still get booked weddings, paid, and not getting sued by some unhappy bride. Can you specifically ask your DJ not to post on FB and invite there friends? Maybe talk to your venue about what they do to prevent this?

betrothed123 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dance-crashers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d04823bb-d6a7-475e-b1c8-a3374df5d6c9Post:68f40320-df58-44c6-aa1e-cd3d6ed6d35a">Dance Crashers</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey, I'm mainly posting to see if this is common in any other small town/area. Also, I'm curious to see how other brides would react if this was the case in their location or what people's opinions are. I'm from a very rural area in South Dakota, and somehow it became the 'norm' for the younger crowd (high school and 20's/early 30's) to go to every wedding dance that is in town even if you weren't invited and if you don't know the couple that well (or, really, at all). It's seen as something to do on a Saturday night, reason to drink (or for minors, to get alcohol), and I guess it gives them "cred" for being able to join in the conversation Monday morning about the weekend dance. My friends and I never did this as we thought it was rude and quite frankly, desperate and pathetic. <strong>Often times the local DJ's will post on their personal and business facebook page "Come on down", etc. </strong> Guests in the "crashing" age group will text their friends and a ripple effect commences. I really don't want to see the high school snob pretending to be nice to me and FI just so she can grind her bottom against some guy's groin. Anywho, has anyone ever heard of this or have something similar in their area? Opinions? Thoughts? Reactions?
Posted by gingercountrygirl[/QUOTE]
I would require my DJ put into the contract that they wouldn't do this for my wedding.

This is so rude. I'd talk to the venue about it and see if they can take any precautions.

kd.joseph · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dance-crashers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d04823bb-d6a7-475e-b1c8-a3374df5d6c9Post:1f791fc2-4713-4e11-9f2e-a2cccfd6bb03">Re: Dance Crashers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Dance Crashers : I would require my DJ put into the contract that they wouldn't do this for my wedding. This is so rude. I'd talk to the venue about it and see if they can take any precautions.
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

THIS, DJ's are supposed to be professional. And if one did this at my wedding, you better believe he wouldnt have any business after I got done. This is what contracts are for.

LetsHikeToday · October 2012

Yup. Put it in your contract

anna.oskar · October 2012

As someone from rural areas of South Dakota, now I want to know what town you're from because I have never heard of such a thing.

As the others have said, I'd definitely get that contracted with the DJ

LesPaul · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dance-crashers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:d04823bb-d6a7-475e-b1c8-a3374df5d6c9Post:beedf128-7428-49b8-a106-230c2541f8c4">Re: Dance Crashers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dance Crashers : THIS, DJ's are supposed to be professional. And if one did this at my wedding, you better believe he wouldnt have any business after I got done. This is what contracts are for.
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

Ditto B and this exactly. No, it's not the norm, and it's not OK to crash weddings, regardless of the 'local custom' or whatever they're calling it.

mandi195 · October 2012

So strange to read this. I know that back in the 50's, my grandparents generation would do this on some level, but to a much different extent. They would get dressed up, buy a wedding card, put a decent amount of money in it ($20-30, which was pretty good back then), and go after the dinner just for the dancing. They didn't drink or eat anything, just danced, as it was a nice place to go dancing in our are when there weren't a lot of other options. I always laugh when they tell those stories.
However, if it was that common, I'd ask the venue to lock the doors! That way if folks want to leave they can, but no one can crash. Or hire security.... or have the police stationed outside (extreme, crazy option)

Girlie1030 · October 2012

And I thought my small town was sad.

Put in in your contract with the DJ that this is not an option for your reception.

MrsGandthebeag · October 2012

I've never heard of such a thing and had that happened at my wedding, I'd personally ask the people to leave.

erinlin25 · October 2012

That is definitely not normal,especially for a wedding! Definitely put that in your contract and talk to the venue or coordinator to make sure a plan is in place in case people try to crash...you shouldn't have to deal with that on your day!

gingercountrygirl · October 2012

Thanks everybody! It really bugs me but I never wanted to sound like a bridezilla because it's such a "norm" in my area. The people that come for the dance don't even bring cards!

Whew! I'm relieved to finally hear others agree!

The local DJ's are far from professional (most of them do not have any backups in case of emergencies. So sometimes you might get a phonecall saying the DJ is bailing or his buddy, who doesn't know music, is going to fill in). Because I did not want to mess with that, I hired a DJ out of Sioux Falls. They are beyond professional, and it was worth the extra money.

I've been trying to find "round-about" ways to politely say, "You weren't invited. Go home". I thought about getting a truck tire, painting it white to give it that rustic chic look, putting flowers in the center and painting "No Wedding Crashers" on it (a play on words with the tires that normally say No Trespassers) and putting this at the entrance of the venue.

I told my mother the other option was to go up to people that weren't invited and ask them to leave. Her response was that they weren't causing any harm and I shouldnt make a scene.

Dance Crashers

Re: Dance Crashers

Choose Another Board

Search Boards