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FMIL didn't come to my shower... (pretty much a depressed rant. lol)

sjgurl784sjgurl784
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in Moms and Maids
My bridesmaids threw me an awesome shower yesterday.  It was so relaxed and and they put so much work into it.  I am so grateful for them!  I had a amazing time. Being in the Northeast, they had to reschedule it from two weeks ago because of the power outages.  They got in touch with everyone who was going to attend, including my FMIL, and luckily, everyone said they could come to the new date.  So imagine my surprise when FMIL just doesn't show up.  No call to my sister, who was hosting, no text to my FI, not a peep!

I tell FI at the end of the shower that his mom didn't come and asked if he heard from her.  He got pretty pissed and called her.  She went on for about ten minutes, throwing out every excuse in the book. 

I'm hurt.  I just feel like she should be there as his mom and the fact that she didn't even bother to tell anyone she wasn't coming is just ridiculous.  We have a pretty good relationship, she and my side of the family get along, so it's not that she didn't show up out of spite.  She's just selfish.  It's all about her.  FI said, "It's like talking to a drug addict.  She's got an excuse for everything."  Blah.  Do I say something to her?  She said she wants to come down later in the week to give us our gift.  I really don't think it's even crossed her mind that feelings have been hurt and that it's just bad manners not to tell the hostess that you're not going to be able to make it.  Should I just let it go?
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Re: FMIL didn't come to my shower... (pretty much a depressed rant. lol)

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't say anything to her.  Yeah it sucks that she didn't tell anyone that she wasn't going to come but a bridal shower is not a required event to attend.  I would just let this go because it sounds like you had a great time without her there so it isn't like her lack of attendence ruined your day.  Just move on because this isn't something to stay upset about.

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  • divadancer11divadancer11 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Sorry to hear that....I would let it go and not give her the satisfaction. You have more important things to worry about, dont let that get to you.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    It's nice to have electricity, again, isn't it?

    I'm sorry that you are disappointed, but no one is required to attend showers. Not even your mom or his. She should have let the host know that her plans had changed, though. Since your Fi has already let his mom that you were upset that she didn't show up, you should just drop it. There's no point in pressing her for excuses.
                       
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  • MDmom2014MDmom2014
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't mention it to her. Just remember the fantastic time your had at the shower and don't dwell on the fact that she didn't show. Obviously it was her loss. Accept her gift graciously and leave it at that.
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  • RaptorSLHRaptorSLH member
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I'll agree with the above posters, but with one caveat:
    If she makes a regular habit of being late or being a no-call/no-show, you are perfectly justified in taking that into account when you make plans.
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  • staceycainestaceycaine member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'd let it go, as it seems like your FI took care of it for you by calling her and asking why, etc.

    By the way, I kind of need to know what her excuses were.
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  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    Coming from someone who holds grudges (I'm working on it!) and has had to deal with the consequences, I'd try really hard to let it go and have you FI deal with his mother. You'll earn points in the long run if you are gracious and act like it doesn't bother you. Good luck!
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