Monetary Gift instead of boxed gift?

tdmaus · January 2011

Hi everyone, we're just starting to plan our wedding. My Fiance and I have been living together over a year and we dont need any more appliances or towels, so we skip on the registry. What's the most polite way to rather ask for money as gifts? Is it rude to indicate it in the invitations? Thank you!

caraellen23 · January 2011

There is no polite way.

ETA: In this area, its common to get monetary gifts as wedding presents. Never, ever put on your invitation anything about gifts, registry or otherwise. Its very tacky. Asking for money on an invitation is just plain rude.

What about a shower? Are you having one? If you have one and don't have a registry, you will most likely get a million things you don't need. People don't really give money for showers. Would you consider asking people to donate to a charity of their choice in lieu of gifts? Or perhaps you could look into a honeymoon registry?

LaRositaMonita · January 2011

See above. DH and I lived together for nearly four years and found plenty of stuff to upgrade. I promise you will still get plenty of cash at the wedding. No matter how you say it, asking directly for money is tacky.

Make a small registry of stuff you know you would love (go for the Dyson vacuum and the Calphalon) and let people figure it out on their own. Or just sit back and get lots of boxed gifts you don't want

dibsontop · January 2011

Ditto PP. There is no polite way to ask for money. If you don't need "stuff" don't have a shower. And as far as the wedding goes, we had a registry but only received monetary gifts. That seems to be customary where I'm from.

LadyJ10 · January 2011

As Cara said, there isn't a polite way to ask for money. And you really shouldn't include anything about registries, etc., on the invitation. I would recommend setting up a small registry somewhere for those guests who would rather give something tangible, and then tell your parents and best friends that if people enquire, they can respond that you really don't need much for the house, but that you are saving up for X.

To Cara's point, since you don't really need things, I would politely decline any showers, as these are for giving actual gifts.

Bride_to_be_2011 · January 2011

I agree with Cara, word for word. I have been living with my FI for like almost 4 years and I found lots of things that I wanted to put on my registry!

tdmaus · January 2011

Thanks ladies! Thanks for the advice! I'm not planning a bridal shower either, so that eliminates some of the gifts too.

Stacylynn702 · January 2011

Do you rent right now or own? Do you think you'll move to a bigger house sometime in the near future? If you plan on moving or rent for the time being, you will need new things eventually. Might as well just register for them now. DH and I lived together over 5 years and own our home and still found plenty to register for. I really think you should seriously consider setting up a registry b/c chances are you're going to be spending money on things later. Don't forget, you can register for anything in the store, not just dishes and towels. Maybe you want different bath rugs/table linens/bedding for different seasons? Even organizational things for your closet. Take a walk around Bed Bath and Beyond (or your store of choice) and think it over.

Monetary Gift instead of boxed gift?

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