July 2013 Weddings

BMs input re dresses

Hey everyone,

I started out really wanting all the girls to be happy with what I'm asking them to wear, but it's starting to really become a stress. No one has said they won't wear something but them stating they prefer a different option gets to me because I know they'll be the ones paying for them. Plus I tend to be sort of a people pleaser. Also FI is actually pretty opinionated too. I'm having a really hard time with this.

Anyone else experiencing the same thing or have advice for how to deal with it? I have 6 BMs if that helps!

Re: BMs input re dresses

  • I have six birdespeople (one is a guy :) ). I'm being really chill about the whole dress thing. I gave them a color, told them to pick out a dress they like (any shade of said color) and run it by my before they purchase it so I can make sure it's not obnoxious. And I am buying my bridesNick a tie so he doesn't have to worry about anything!

    I'd say just pick a dress you like and go with it or give them a specific color and let them pick a couple styles they like then you make the final decision. Or maybe just do this with MOH to simplify things.
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  • Like CK, I'm leaving it up to my BMs to pick out their own dress in the color & length I specify.  Our colors are teal & black, so I'm asking for teal dresses above the knee with black shoes.  If it comes down to it and one or more of them can't find a teal dress they're happy with I'll probably just ask them to wear a black dress with teal shoes & accessories instead.

    I want them to be comfortable with their dresses, and hopefully it will be something they can wear again.  It also ensures that they get something in their price range and if worse comes to worse I'm guessing they all have a LBD in their closets.
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  • I only have an MOH and bridesmaid and theyre both wearing the same dress so Im not much help. I did, however have a btch of a time finding a dress we all loved. I think i changed my mind like 5 times lol If I can offer any advice Id say look through magazines and sites, pick a few styles you like and go from there. Or like the pp's did, pick a color and give your girls free range. Imo, thats the easiest option and you know they'll be happy with what they're wearing.
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  • I also have 6 BMs. They are all going to wear different styles of Alfred Sung dresses in Pearl Pink. There's tons of different styles so I asked them each what their 2 favorites were and I am pretty conservative so told them I didn't want any of the more low cut ones.

    I think it's okay whether you just give them a color or designer or if you want them all in the same dress; the most important thing is that you pick something within their budgets. Either way, don't let it stress you out!
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  • I think this a really hard situation. You want them all to be happy with it beacuse they are paying for it but it can be hard sometimes to get a lot of girls to agree on clothes!! All the ladies that said they are giving their BMs a color and just letting them pick a dress- I think that's great. Or even giving them a color and designer and letting them pick. I just can't do that. I want them to be in the same dress in the pictures. Shoes I don't care- I am letting them wear whatever but I really want the dress to be the same. I think trying to find a reasonably priced dress is really important. I had to spend $250 on a hideous dress once and I hated that. Then it might be a good idea to pick out a bunch you like and have a day when everyone goes to try some on to see what they like. Have everyone, including you, make a list of the favorite and compare! It might be helpful to find out why someone hated a dress too. If it makes them uncomfortable because it tugs a certain area too tightly that is a better reason to have you pick a different style than- I just don't like this bow right here- or something like that.
    I hope in the end most of your bridesmaids can be ok with whatever you choose. Good luck!!

    P.S. Have you seen yes to the dress bridesmaids??? Ridiculous!!!!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2013-weddings_bms-input-re-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a322ad2c-25cd-4d52-b123-096e1e4ecda5Discussion:6c428b93-5485-4dca-b266-f97ebeb0419fPost:79dd04c0-b22f-423f-8e0b-72d47f0d9fe5">Re: BMs input re dresses</a>:
    [QUOTE]Have everyone, including you, make a list of the favorite and compare! It might be helpful to find out why someone hated a dress too. If it makes them uncomfortable because it tugs a certain area too tightly that is a better reason to have you pick a different style than- I just don't like this bow right here- or something like that.
    Posted by kay136[/QUOTE]

    I think this is a really good start if you're wanting everyone in the same dress.  Start by picking a length and inquire with them privately about budgets.  Also see if there's anyone vehemently opposed to certain styles, like strapless.  Next, look and see what your local bridal salon carries for designers (or national chain - if you have BMs in different states) and have you and your girls independently make lists of all of the favorites after shopping on-line that meet your length, budget, color, and style criteria.  Have your girls try on those dresses in the store and you can pick your favorite as a group!
    Formerly known as flutterbride2b
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