How to handle deceased father who died many years ago

Re: How to handle deceased father who died many years ago

• JessAndTrav member

  

  July 2012

  I would just put it in the "In Memory" portion of the program. 

  
  

  John Doe - Father of Ccasey621

  *insert anecdote*

  
  

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• Avion22 member

  

  July 2012

  Definitely talk with your mother and get her opinion.  If your grandparents (dad's parents) or his siblings are still in your life and will be attending the wedding, then you might run your thoughts past them as well.  Even after that long, people may be overcome by grief since it's such an emotional day, esepecially if they aren't expecting something.  

  
  

  I think it's fine to list him in an "in memoriam" section of your program.  My sister's husband had passed away about 10 years before their wedding, and they used: 

  
  

  "We thank you all for joining us on this very special day.  We ask you to pause for a moment and join us in remembering those who could not be here to celebrate with us today; especially Michael’s father,

  Thomas Anderson.

  We know that they are here in spirit."

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• Snippylynn member

  

  July 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-handle-deceased-father-who-died-many-years-ago?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:71e89a4b-c126-43e8-be61-a299d04c3d42Post:322841f7-4363-49ae-8557-3a454120b417">Re: How to handle deceased father who died many years ago</a>:
  [QUOTE]Definitely talk with your mother and get her opinion.  If your grandparents (dad's parents) or his siblings are still in your life and will be attending the wedding, then you might run your thoughts past them as well.  Even after that long, people may be overcome by grief since it's such an emotional day, esepecially if they aren't expecting something.   I think it's fine to list him in an "in memoriam" section of your program.  My sister's husband had passed away about 10 years before their wedding, and they used:  " We thank you all for joining us on this very special day.   We ask you to pause for a moment and join us in remembering those who could not be here to celebrate with us today; especially Michael’s father, Thomas Anderson. We know that they are here in spirit."
  Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]
  I actually seriously dislike that part Avion. It's just not... appropriate for a wedding, i don't think.<div>
  </div><div>I went to a wedding a few years ago where the bride's father had been killed in a really tragic accident almost exactly a month before the wedding day.  Of course, everyone knew what had happened, and we were all very emotional as she walked down the aisle with her mom, but she did not mention him or anything about his passing in the programs. It's just not the occaision for it. </div><div>
  </div><div>Personally, I find programs to be a total waste of money, effort and paper as it just gets thrown away, but if you are intent upon doing them, I don't think it's necessary to include anything about him or the fact that your mother is a widower.</div>

  
  Wedding stuff.
  

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• becka717 member

  

  July 2012

  My dad died 7 years ago (when I was 22) and my mom has also not remarried.  Under Wedding Party I just listed my mom.  We had a Memorial Section - We would like to remember those who can not be with us today- and listed my dad, my and FI deceased grandparents, and FI cousin who died unexpectedly a few year ago.  

  
  

  Definitely check with your mom and any of your dad's other close relatives.  It can be a very sensitive subject.  And programs are often not necessary, so you could skip doing them.

  
  
  This box shipped toys? No this box is toy!
  

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• dramaqueen91087

  

  July 2012

  My FI's father passed away when FI was 10. It was very important to him to honor his dad in some way. We included him in the "In Memoriam" section of our programs. There is also a mantle at our venue which will feature photos of his dad. This way he is there without drawing attention to it.

  
  180 invited 145 are ready to party 35 are missing out 0! can't find the mailbox rsvp's due back June 20th!

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• jessicabessica member

  

  July 2012

  My H's mother died about 10 years before our wedding, although my FIL remarried.  We had programs, and we only listed the people that were walking down the aisle--I think it said, "DH, accompanied by FIL and SMIL."  At the end of our program, we had an "In Remembrance" section that said: "We remember our family members who are no longer with us.  May their memory be a blessing to us and to future generations."  We listed DH's mom and grandparents by name.  

  
  

  We used FIL's wedding band from his marriage to my H's mother in our ceremony, and now it's the ring that DH wears as his wedding band (we got an inscription next to the prior inscription). 

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• ladybug480 member

  

  July 2012

  I'm in a similar position, father passed away when I was 14, 12 years ago.  In addition to the "In Memoriam" section of the program and a brief mention by the reverend, I attached a small photo charm to my bouquet.  It was a small, personal touch, that was a perfect fit for me.  I didn't want to be a total debbie downer, so it was nice that it was something just for me.

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