Pre-wedding Parties

Help! Who pays for the bridal shower?

I am the MOH in my best friends wedding. Her mom is throwing a bridal shower for family & friends but needed to cut down the list so bumped the sorority sisters. Out of the 6 bridal attenants, 2 of us are from the sorority. I dont mind hosting & throwing the party, but is it wrong of me to ask the other bridesmaids to help with the party since they are off the hook for throwing the other bridal shower? As a group we will also throw a combo lingere/bachelortte party closer to wedding.

I am just nervous about how much everything will cost and don't want to go broke paying for a party that everyone should chip in on!


Re: Help! Who pays for the bridal shower?

  • edited December 2011
    Whoever offered to host the party is the one who pays for it. If the other bridesmaids want to help host it, they should definitely chip in, but if none of them are interested in helping plan the party, they don't need to front any money.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • mcskatcatmcskatcat member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011

    Whoever hosts pays... so instead of asking the other BMs if they want to help you pay for it, ask if they will help host.  That means all the work (coming up with food, invites, etc.) and cost is split amongst you.  Should you choose to go that route, please make it a joint effort and have everyone make their budgets clear at the beginning. 

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I don't think another shower should be expected. The guests lists from multiple showers shouldn't overlap. And the lingerie party/bp should count as a shower, since the guests will be bringing gifts, right? If the bms are chipping in for that combo party already, then it might be rough on their budgets to host another shower.
  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    >>Her mom is throwing a bridal shower for family & friends

    Well, family members aren't supposed to host showers.  So what her mom is doing is actually an engagement party, and while the MOH and BMs get courtesy invitations to any engagement parties, you aren't expected to HOST an engagement party.  Engagement parties are hosted by family members, to introduce the bride to the groom's extended family - or vice versa..

    Traditionally, the shower is hosted by the MOH, assisted by the BMs, and the shower is their group gift to the bride.
  • edited December 2011
    "Well, family members aren't supposed to host showers." 

    This depends on what area of the country you're in.  I've seen posts from some people on here that in their area, it is common for the bride's mother to host the shower. 

    OP -  can you talk to her mom and see if you can help host so you can add people to the guest list?
  • edited December 2011
    I don't agree that family members aren't 'supposed to host showers'. Whoever offers to host a shower is being generous and doesn't matter who they are. I have been to several showers that were 'hosted' or 'given by' family members, never thought anything of it. The most recent one I went to was in the MOB's backyard, and I personally know she footed the bill and did a majority of the work as a lot of the BM's came from out of town just that weekend.  However, they did put together some games, so that was how they contributed. 

    So every party is different, just depends on who is able to offer/afford what!  
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards