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May 2013 Weddings
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Death and sickness...

Alexis&JayAlexis&Jay member
10 Comments
in May 2013 Weddings
this morning we received news that FI's grandfather is in cardiac arrest. There has been no updates on his status. But if things take a turn for the worst, what is the etiquette on this? I'm not very close with the man, but I know that FI and IL will certainly be grieving for a while. If he passes should we postpone the wedding? 
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Re: Death and sickness...

  • Danny&Mel2003Danny&Mel2003 member
    1000 Comments First Anniversary
    I'm sorry to hear about your Fi's grandfather. While they'll be grieving I don't think it's necessary to postpone a wedding that is 11 months away.
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  • Alexis&JayAlexis&Jay member
    10 Comments
    that's very true. I just feel bad trying to plan it while everyone else is going through all this. It's only the first day, I'm sure that it will become easier with time. 
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  • ChefBride524ChefBride524
    10 Comments
    I agree. It is certainly sad and it's your job to be there for your FI while he's in mourning but I also see no reason to postpone when the wedding is still a year away. By that time, acceptance will have set in and people will be more than ready for a life-affirming family celebration. The only ettiquette I can think of would be normal social grace - obviously, you don't want to gush about wedding plans during the funeral and I wouldn't demand FIs attention to any wedding tasks or details for a while until he's feeling better.

    Best wishes to your family during this sad time.
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  • ChefBride524ChefBride524
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_death-and-sickness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:4b01bdb6-9ee1-4caa-9c78-0d5f5cb98011Post:bcfbab35-7f54-40a6-8018-9d16d06f86b8">Re: Death and sickness...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just feel bad trying to plan it while everyone else is going through all this. Posted by Alexis&Jay[/QUOTE]

    Just keep any planning you MUST do discreet. I can't imagine what details require your immediate attention during this time, though? It's a year to go, if you've got the date and venue booked I can't think of what else requires such attention that you can't take a few weeks off to mourn with your family.
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  • AMISSA31AMISSA31
    100 Comments
    Follow FI's lead. 
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  • Alexis&JayAlexis&Jay member
    10 Comments
    FI broke down for about 20 minutes today and that was it. And when I say broke down I mean broke down. It is the strangest sight to see a grown man, collapsed onto our bed, clutching a stuffed animal from his beloved grandparent, sobbing uncontrollably. I felt so helpless to comfort the poor thing. Since then he has had his brave face on and has thanked me insesently for being here for him. Not that I would be anywhere else, ever. 

    It's not that I have any planning that cannot be put off, I'm just a perfectionist and always review things, or in my down time will look over details. (I just finished school, so I have a lot of down time on my hands).

    I just didnt know the ettiquette for this situation. Thank you for the input. You're right, it's a comfortable distance away and it could be the bright spot after a period of sadness. 
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  • mymissingpuzzlepiecemymissingpuzzlepiece
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Maybe you should try to stay positive and hope for the best? I mean, the man hasn't passed away yet. It's possible that he could live.
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  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    I don't think it's necessary to postpone either. I'd cross that bridge when it comes, honestly.
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  • Mandee89Mandee89 member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments
    Honestly I would not postpone it...You still have 11 months and I honestly am going through this right now. I lost my grandfather (father figure) in January and I am still greiving over it and I cant tell you when the pain will go away, but with wedding planning it gives people something to look forward to and if you and your FI would like if things did take a turn for the worse, you could do a little table with his picture and some things he like to do (I.E. A fishing pole if he likes to fish, a car or a wrench if he liked to work on cars etc..) I'm sure people would appreciate it very much. I do hope however things turn out to be just fine and things take turn for the best. I will be praying for you and good luck Smile
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  • Alexis&JayAlexis&Jay member
    10 Comments
    \I'm sorry, i forgot to add the update. But Newt did pass away the same evening that he went into the hospital. 
    I had a few meetings to go to with caterers and the such, but those have all been rescheduled. 

    If you are a praying person I know that our family would appreciate the prayers for comfort. 

    Thank you.

    In my wildest dreams, you always play the hero. In my darkest hour of night, you rescue me, you save my life wedding planning guide
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  • Danny&Mel2003Danny&Mel2003 member
    1000 Comments First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_death-and-sickness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:4b01bdb6-9ee1-4caa-9c78-0d5f5cb98011Post:90499a38-130e-4acc-883a-28abcbb48c7f">Re: Death and sickness...</a>:
    [QUOTE]\I'm sorry, i forgot to add the update. But Newt did pass away the same evening that he went into the hospital.  I had a few meetings to go to with caterers and the such, but those have all been rescheduled.  If you are a praying person I know that our family would appreciate the prayers for comfort.  Thank you.
    Posted by Alexis&Jay[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I'm sorry for your loss, I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

    </div>
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  • bezelpupbezelpup member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments
    Sorry for your loss. My FI's mom passed away in March. Even though we are grieving we are moving along with the wedding as planned. I just took a break from planning for a month or so. I let FI bring it up again before I continued with contacting vendors etc. But we never thought about postponing. I think there will be some sad moments ahead, like planning what family pics to take.
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