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I expected this but it still hurts

nmauser82nmauser82 member
10 Comments
in Second Weddings
We are starting to get response cards back and so far out of about 10 cards  recieved, only 2 people have replied yes and neither of us even know who they are. They are his parents' friends apparently.

So far every one on my side has turned us down. I kind of knew this would happen. My family is on the other side of the country and being my second wedding, I always feared that they wouldn't bother to come. Now my fear has become reality.

Of course my parents and brother and my bridesmaids are coming, but thats it. Not a single aunt or uncle or cousin. Even the family that I was sure would be coming, has replied no.

Like I said, it was expected but it still hurts.
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Re: I expected this but it still hurts

  • blush64blush64 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am so sorry to hear that. Even knowing something will or might happen doesn't lessen the blow when it does happen. With times as tough as they are maybe some people who really wanted to come jsut can't.

    Try not to take it too badly.
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  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    We're still getting our RSVP's in as well and we have had a few "regrets" that were shockers. Part of it is the economy...part of it is our day is on a Sunday.

    What's important to us is that we reached out, invited them if they want to be there they will ,if not; we'll still have a lovely time and be married at the end of the day.
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Awww ... I am so sorry to hear this.  My heart breaks for you.  ((((HUGS))))  As you lay in the comfort of FI's arms, remember you are going to marry the man of your dreams.  Feel better soon.
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_expected-this-but-still-hurts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:3cd24164-6078-4083-a401-47fa212a942cPost:e6be23a7-7f0c-42a6-9f6b-b8b0d3f63930">Re: I expected this but it still hurts</a>:
    [QUOTE]We're still getting our RSVP's in as well and we have had a few "regrets" that were shockers. <strong>Part of it is the economy</strong>...part of it is our day is on a Sunday. What's important to us is that we reached out, invited them if they want to be there they will ,if not; we'll still have a lovely time and be married at the end of the day.
    Posted by MikesAngie[/QUOTE]

    I'll be with you in sprit, Angie. 

    The economy is having a very real impact on accepting wedding and shower invitations; I can attest to that.   I've had to decline a wedding invitation from one friend and shower and bachelorette party invitations from another since I lost my job.  It was so very, very difficult to do.  Let's all hang in there!!
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  • LesPaulLesPaul member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry.  I had a few people decline that kind of hurt my feelings too.
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  • kimber9999kimber9999
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Im in the same boat as you, as there were quite a few people on his side that we thought for sure would be here and have heard now that they wont be...but had an unexpected 'yes' happen also. My Aunt who didnt come to my first wedding called me up and is so excited to come out here this summer for my wedding she has already paid for the plane ticket....not much can be done about others not being able to come, but its gonna be a heck of a party with the restTongue out! 
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  • ichellemay1ichellemay1
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think the economy is definitely causing a lot of that these days.  Even though we're not getting married until November, there are some people I think may not be able to swing it even with over a year's notice.  It's just really crappy out there.
    Anniversary
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  • NeverSayNeverAgainNeverSayNeverAgain member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I know how you feel... I don't think any of my family or friends are coming, not my siblings or parents.

    Remember what's important.  You will have a beautiful day with your soon to be husband and friends & family who can make it.
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  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Aw, that makes me sad.  We didn't have any "regrets" and actually ended up with 2 or 4 more than were invited.  I had had a row with my son just weeks before the wedding and he pretty much told me to "have a nice life" so when I sent the invite I was fairly sure I would not hear from him.  But the invite broke the ice.  He came only to the reception tho.  Maybe it was too weird to watch his mom marry someone not his father.

    As the others have said, you WILL have a wonderful day :)
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  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    So sorry to hear this is making you sad. The fact you expected it doesn't make it any easier I'm sure.

    I sent emails to my cousins in southern CA with definite info, maybe 2-4 out of a possible 10 are coming. I totally get the economic impact and we are planning our honeymoon to CA a few weeks after the wedding partly so we can take pictures there and have them meet my fiance who they have never met.......... the other reason is because we are middle aged goofballs who want to see the Pacific Coast Hwy from San Fran to San Diego....... in a convertible! LOL

    Hope you feel better. Don't let it keep you down long!  
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  • nmauser82nmauser82 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone. I know that part of it is the economy and personally, If I was invited to a wedding on the east coast, I probably wouldn't be able to go to it either. So I'm not faulting any of them, I understand. It just sucks. I already feel a little bit isolated being way out here with them way over there. It makes me miss home.

    Hopefully we will start getting the yes responses soon. I supposed I should be thankful that they were prompt in delivering their regrets instead of waiting till the last min.

    LIke you all said, I just have to remember that I'm marrying a wonderful man who makes me happy everyday. We will still have a wonderful wedding whether 2 or 200 people show up.

    Thank you everyone for your kind words. I appreciate it.
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  • tangledtempesttangledtempest
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh I'm so sorry.  We are going through a similar thing as well, except its FI's family who is on the opposite side of the country. His own brother, who he asked to be his best man, isn't coming.  Only his parents and sister are coming.  He's very hurt too, even though he knew most ppl wouldn't come.  (((hugs))) It really sucks, I know.  :(
    .:Anna + Bryan:. .::6.11.11::.
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  • fireytigerfireytiger member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    *hugs* I totally understand where you're coming from with this. At my first marriage, NOBODY I cared about that I invited, could be bothered to come. One or two of them, I finally got to come only when I agreed to leave in the middle of my reception and drive to pick them up and bring them there. It really stinks.

    This time, I'm having a similar problem as you. My entire guest list lives halfway across the country (I'm smack dab in the middle of the country, half my family and friends live on the east coast and the other half of my friends and family live on the west coast where I grew up). I haven't sent out my invites yet, but I'm expecting several no's. It's going to hurt, but what can I do? Good luck hon, i'm certain there will be at least some people who say yes and come through for you. :)
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