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Groomsmen issues

My fiance is in Afghanistan right now, and he has been getting really close to the guys there with him. He really wants to have them be his groomsmen instead of the friends he has always had here. We are worried that his friends here will be offended by him choosing guys he has only known for like a year. We discussed having some of both sets of friends, but he wants them to all be in their uniform. And that would look really nice to have all the groomsmen in their Dress Blues.
What do you guys think?

Re: Groomsmen issues

  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think you should try to include the guys in Afghanistan, but remind him that his friends here are important, too.  I think picking groomsmen based on what outfit they'll be wearing is a really sad way to choose - he should have the guys that are closest to him, regardless of what they're wearing.

    I do totally understand how the guys who have been through hell and back with him create such a close bond so quickly, and because he's there right now, that's what he's focused on.  But I'd hate to see him come back and regret not having his life-long friends stand next to him just because they don't get to wear Dress Blues.

    Another idea - he could have his buddies from home be his groomsmen, but his friends from Afghanistan can wear their Dress Blues to the wedding and do the arch of swords for you, so they'd also be participating in a special way.



  • edited December 2011

    I agree 150% with everything Calindi says

    Here is what I have to add..... In our case FI asked his buddies from elementary school to be his GMs and asked his Air Force Buddies to have specific roles in the wedding. Mostly because we hoped it would increase their chance of getting leave. He asked 2 buddies to wear their mess dress and be Ushers. Which I think is going to look sweet, so I see your point with the look being nice but I wouldn't exclude a person because of it. When you think about there are several roles for people outside the Wedding Party. 


  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Here's a true story about Marines (or any SM, I'm sure). They get very, very close on deployment, which is good. They get back, and it's real life again. Some will get out, some will lat move, some will move to other units, even PCS. FI has been in 10 years, and he got super close with the guys he did humanitarian relief with, super close to the guys he deployed with, and super close to the guys he was stationed in Okinawa with. However, he is not terribly close with any of them now. It's the way of the military, IMO. You have to work really hard to maintain friendships, and that can be difficult.

    If I were him, I would ask any siblings, and then split the rest between Marines and old friends. FI is thinking about asking his two brothers and two sisters, which I think would be very cool. I asked my two sisters, my best friend from childhood, and my best friend now (who will be in her AF Mess Dress). FI will be in his blues, and his brothers will be in tuxes/suits. 

    I'm with Calindi, don't ask people based on what they're wearing. Everyone I asked is deeply important to me. And we're doing the sword arch with his current Marine friends (plus a female Soldier that I'm close with). Remember that to rate a sword arch, your FI and everyone participating have to be NCOs or above.
    I hate Dave Ramsey
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