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reception question

We were thinking about inviting some people only to the drinking/dancing portion of the reception. Is anyone else doing this or has anyone done this? I'm not sure if it's a good idea or how to go about it. Suggestions?
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Re: reception question

  • jessgosz310jessgosz310 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I've been invited to a few receptions. Usually it was a work situation, and there was one invitation hung up somewhere directed at everyone. I personally find it tacky. It's almost like being invited as an afterthought. Guests are also inconvenienced because they need to find alternate places to get dinner and possibly travel. I also felt pressured to bring a gift, and you don't have a place to put your things. Plus, the bride and groom may not even have time to talk to you if the reception is done at the ceremony or before dinner.
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  • ylleknnaylleknna member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have heard of it but have not went to a wedding for it. I don't think I would want to do this, but like the PP said, it could be a work thing. I find myself in a situation that could relate to this.

    I used to work at the same place as my mom and worked with the same people. She is now the boss over these people. I still work there, but casually. I got to know a lot of them well and I am def inviting a good portion of them (some of these are family friends as well).. however, there are some where I would not mind if they didn't come.. in fact, I would love if I didn't have to send them an invite, but because of my situtation, my mother would like to invite them and with my parents helping foot the bill..I kind of can't say no.

    However, these people could care less about the ceremony (and maybe even the dinner?) and would probably come just for the party anyways.. So what it comes down to is I'll probably send an invitation to a few of them. There is always the possibility of losing touch with them, so we'll see what happens in the next few months.
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  • SweetCharadeSweetCharade member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I honestly would be very careful in doing this.  It can come off as kind of saying "You're not good enough to have dinner with us, but you can come dance with us, and maybe bring us a present."

    I understand that's not how it is intended, and I totally understand wanting to be budget conscious, but that's probably not the greatest way to go about doing so.
  • edited December 2011
    We would still be inviting them to the ceremony, but I get what you guys mean. I feel the same way, but my "frugal" fiance suggested this idea. I am just putting the feelers out there to see if this is something people actually do, or just a bad idea! Thanks. Smile
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  • edited December 2011
    I personally would be insulted if I were only invited for drinks and dancing.  Everyone has to cut their guest list off somewhere, but I would feel like a second class citizen to be invited to only part of the reception.  Just my opinion.
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  • edited December 2011
    I  have  had a few people tell me about this happening to them and each one said the same thing.... They all found it insulting and tacky.
    KRHagen November 2009
  • edited December 2011
    I am getting married in April and my fiance and I are funding 85% percent of it ourselves while maintaining a home with two kids(yeah I know we chose our path) but our FRIENDS will understand that the most important thing on my wedding day is my fiance and I enjoying OUR wedding and NOT who I made feel like a "second class citizen". 

    I guess it depends on circumstances.  Mean if I invited every friend I have, I'd have to invite their family, that would add SO much to my costs, I would have to eliminate something else that I wanted in my day.  I think that they SHOULD feel happy that although the couple could not afford to have them for dinner, they still wanted to share a part of the day with them.  Not everyone has money growing out of their whoo whoo.
  • edited December 2011
    I have been to weddings, mainly for people from work, where this has happened and it did not seem to offend anyone.  I was originally not planning to do this for mine, because my parents felt strongly against it.  Recently, however, I have had several co-workers ask (knowing that our venue was too small to invite work friends to dinner) if I would be doing this because they would love to come for drinks and dancing. 
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