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Second Weddings

New Engaged

My fiance proposed on Saturday and caught me completely by surprise. We had talked about a future together and occasionally mentioned long-term goals, but never anything concrete.

This is my second wedding, and his first. I was a knottie in 2004/2005, but unfortunately that marriage went downhill quickly, but I didn't actually seek a divorce until after we had two children. I would contend even now that I left more for my daughters' sake than my own, but no woman should endure what I did.

After the marriage ended, I spent some time counseling to learn how to not make the same mistake twice. Many months after graduating from therapy, at the urging of my coworker, I went online just to see what their was to see and to get back out there. I agreed to try it for 30 days and admittedly, I was quite entertained by the way men described themselves and their perfect match. Some of their photos were amusing as well. I'm sure at least of a few of you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Anyway, I had a better sense of who I was and what I was looking for, but at the same time I thought, "online? Really?" Nonetheless, I prayed that I find "just a good guy." No games, no arrogance, someone with whom I had more in common with than not.

One man's picture and profile caught my attention after I was notified that he was interested in me. He seemed. . .normal. average. just a good guy. exactly the kind I was looking for. We emailed, we talked on the phone, we went out on our first date.

I had a good time, not a great one, and walked away not sure how I felt about him. However, he asked me out again and I agreed. After all, we had clicked on the phone and the first date had gone well enough. I thought that maybe my first first date in 11 years was awkward simply for that reason.

We went out a few more times. I'm not sure at what point I fell completely and totally in love with him, but in a years time I somehow realized that there is no one more perfect for me than him. If he wasn't in my life, I'd be looking for someone just like him.

When we started introducing each other to our respective friends and families we hated to tell them we met online so instead we said we met in Paris. It raised a few eyebrows, but no one really pushed for the "real" story.

For that reason we're going to include the Eiffel Tower throughout our reception decor, but neither of us has ever been to Paris, and we plan to honeymoon in Rome.

The focus of this wedding is so completely different for me than it was the first time. I want something a little more intimate, and in a way a little more casual, although generally speaking Paris and casual are rarely found in the sentence.

I want to wear a light pink gown, sweep train, with some kind of sleeve. I'd like to accent with deep purple (eggplant?), dark pink, pewter/gray. The guys will wear black tuxes.

We'll be having a Catholic wedding (on a whim and just because I wanted to wipe the slate clean for myself I petitioned for an annulment as soon as my divorce was finalized) in my hometown.

We just started planning. Obviously, I wasn't expecting a proposal already (although we have been together for over a year).

My fiance is a music teacher, a talented musician as one would expect, and crazy smart or rather, pleasantly nerdy, quite like myself (although my mind is not the trap that his is). I'm a technical writer and just obtained a masters in professional writing. I also love the arts, theater in particular. I also love to travel.

I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you and seeing your wedding plans, as well as my own, come together.

xoxo,
dana
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Re: New Engaged

  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2012
    Congratulations!!  Welcome to the board!

    I'm happy for you that you found love again! 

    Love your color scheme, ours was Navy and white but it was a group decision. My DH, DSD and I all chose 5 color palettes we liked and then numbered the top three. 

    Please post pictures!!  
  • Congrats on your engagement, and finding the right guy.

    I also met my husband online via e-harmony. It had been over 8 years since my ex left, and I spent that time getting to know myself, and make my home feel like a home I wanted my kids to grow up in. The ex was not nice to my son, which is why he left, and is an "ex".

    Loved reading your story. I think your wedding sounds wonderful. It will be a memorable day, and we look forward to hearing your plans as they progress.
  • Congrats! Exciting times ahead!
  • Congrats! Sound like you have a great catch :)
    Good for you for getting into therapy.. it has really helped my FI deal with the craziness that was his mentally ill ex-w and his marriage.
    Have fun with the joys of planning, although it sounds like you're well on your journey, LOL.
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