Wedding Party - But not walk down the aisle at ceremony

lerice82 · December 2011

My fiance and I want a wedding party - but do not want bridesmaids/groomsmen to walk down the aisle at our ceremony. We want a very simple ceremony with just us and the officiant (one of our mutual friends).

Basically, our wedding party would consist our family and closest friends. We would invite them to our rehearsal dinner and ask them to be with us when we get ready.

We don't want to deal (and have our wedding party deal) with the fuss and costs of dresses, suits, and a large bridal party walking down the asile but we still want to honor those close to us. Any ideas on how to do so? Any other names for "wedding party." We want our wedding to be as stress free and fun as possible!

ashleyvanderhoof · December 2011

I would just have that conversation with them and let them know why you don't want a "wedding party." In your program you could list an honorary wedding party so your other guests know how special these people are to you.

banana468 · December 2011

I'm sort of confused. What would they be doing?

Keep in mind that inviting people to the RD and being with you as you get ready are great but what if they can't/don't want to do those things?

zitiqueen · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-but-not-walk-down-aisle-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:7eb6be82-8aa2-4737-89ad-2393c26bbac3Post:c1d73e79-25e1-4938-a6d6-70bbc70c45cd">Re: Wedding Party - But not walk down the aisle at ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]I would just have that conversation with them and let them know why you don't want a "wedding party." <strong>In your program you could list an honorary wedding party so your other guests know how special these people are to you.
</strong>Posted by ashleyvanderhoof[/QUOTE]

Don't do this.

lbarr088 · December 2011

I guess I'm not seeing the point in having a wedding party in this case. If it will only be you, FI, and a mutual friend + officiant, what's the point?

graysquirrel · December 2011

If you do not want a WP, then I would simply not have one. I disagree with pps that you should list them as honorary. That is usually reserved for those who cannot be there due to health concerns, sudden death, childbirth, being out of the country, etc. Listing them as that in your program would be a little odd, I think. If you want to honor them, I'd ask them to be a reader, witness, or give them a corsage.

If you want certain people at your RD, just ask them. They don't have to be in your WP. You can invite whomever you like to your parties. As for getting ready with you, I think that is something that you will just have to ask them if they are interested in doing.

lerice82 · December 2011

We are going a less traditional route. Basically, we want a very simple ceremony with no bridesmaids/groomsmen.

We are going to have a wedding of 150 guests (our closest friends and large families) and yes we have no problem who to ask to sign our license.

Maybe "wedding party" was the incorrect terminology for what we want. But essentially we want that idea. And to let them know they are important to us. So, I guess inviting them to the rehearsal dinner is a way to do that. I wouldnt necessarily expect them to do anything at all. I just want them to know what they mean to us during this special time.

Does this make sense?

So, I am looking for ideas on how to have a "wedding party" without bridesmaids and groomsmen in the ceremony. Thinking outside the box. Weddings don't have to be cut and dry , we are trying to personalize it and just looking for some suggestions and thoughts.

What I guess I am asking is if there is a way to have a "wedding party" without actually having them walk down the aisle. And other terminology that could be used for that....

mbody · December 2011

If you don't want a WP to walk down the aisle, then don't. Just invite your family and close friends to a dinner (if you want to call it a RD then go for it) and invite them to be with you in the morning before the ceremony.

Inviting people as a guest in an honor. I would advise not listing anyone as an honorary WP in a program.

pgcp · December 2011

I would just give them flowers to wear/carry/have for the wedding. Don't try to come up with some special name. Have them seated at the front of the church/venue and make sure to let them know how much they mean to you.

MyNameIsNot · December 2011

I would call them wedding party, and just not be traditional about what they do. Tell them to wear what they want, or be super flexible about what they wear (aka LBDs for ladies, black suits for men). Then get them each a bout or coursage instead of traditional bouquets.

At the ceremony, have them seated in the front row. They can walk in at the beginning just as mothers would without making it a big procession, or they can just seat themselves with the rest of the guests if you really want to avoid the processional.

There's no rule that says they aren't WP if they don't stand at the aisle or have a big processional.

rebarobert2012 · December 2011

I'm a little confused about this. If you don't want them to walk down the aisle with you and stand up for you, why have a WP at all? You could just as easily invite these people as guests. And you could still have them at your RD if you wanted.

artbyallie · December 2011

If you're not going to have people stand up with you or at least walk in and sit in the front row, then you're not having a wedding party. It would be hurtful to give someone a meaningless title and then not let them support you in the ceremony, which is the important part of a wedding.

chickenbut143 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-but-not-walk-down-aisle-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:7eb6be82-8aa2-4737-89ad-2393c26bbac3Post:e91753d3-d0ff-40ed-a0b1-93faa5d167fb">Re: Wedding Party - But not walk down the aisle at ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]If you don't want a WP to walk down the aisle, then don't. Just invite your family and close friends to a dinner (if you want to call it a RD then go for it) and <strong>invite them to be with you in the morning before the ceremony</strong>. Inviting people as a guest in an honor. I would advise not listing anyone as an honorary WP in a program.
Posted by mbody[/QUOTE]

This is what we're planning on doing. FI and I are having a very small WP (1 person standing w/ us each) and I have 4 friends/family members i'd like to include. I'm planning on asking them to come to dinner w/ us the night before the wedding - we're not having an "official rehersal dinner" then being with me thoughout the day of the wedding.

OBX2011 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-but-not-walk-down-aisle-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:7eb6be82-8aa2-4737-89ad-2393c26bbac3Post:c7c1e5d0-61a3-43b9-bf7a-3593e6914020">Wedding Party - But not walk down the aisle at ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I want a wedding party - but do not want bridesmaids/groomsmen to walk down the aisle at our ceremony. We want a very simple ceremony with just us and the officiant (one of our mutual friends). <strong>Basically, our wedding party would consist our family and closest friends. We would invite them to our rehearsal dinner and ask them to be with us when we get ready. </strong>We don't want to deal (and have our wedding party deal) with the fuss and costs of dresses, suits, and a large bridal party walking down the asile but we still want to honor those close to us. Any ideas on how to do so? Any other names for "wedding party." We want our wedding to be as stress free and fun as possible!
Posted by lerice82[/QUOTE]

WP or not, wouldn't you have your family (mom, sister, etc.) and closest friends get ready with you anyways? Wouldn't they also be at the RD as well?

I am a little confused on this one too, as I thought the whole point of having a WP was to include your closest family/friends to witness you and FI take your vows together.

The only thing I can think of is what PP mentioned; by having them listed as an honorary WP on the programs. I am not sure if that is even proper etuiquette as I have never heard of it before, so I am at a loss on this one.

Who will you have as your witnesses to sign the license? Typically the MOH and BM do that. Just make sure you at least have those 2 people.

OBX2011 · December 2011

**etiquette and I cannot Edit since TK is still acting wonky.

Damn you wonky Knot!

Kate61487 · December 2011

BPs don't have to stand during the ceremony. In Catholic weddings the BP sits in the front row for the majority of the ceremony and only stands during the actual vows. If you don't want them to stand for even that you wouldn't have to. I also know a bride who didn't have her BP in a processional b/c the ceremony location wasn't really set up with an aisle, so that's not necessary either.

You could still call them your BP but be relaxed about the attire (similar color scheme or wear whatever they want), get them corsages/bouts and have them seat themselves with the rest of the guests, but in the front.

Or you could just ask them to be guests. You can still invite them to the RD and hang out with them that morning. Then you won't have to go to the hassle of explaining to a bunch of people what you mean when you ask them to *sort of* be your bridesmaid

em01092 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-but-not-walk-down-aisle-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7eb6be82-8aa2-4737-89ad-2393c26bbac3Post:1ca224b9-2826-4e45-893e-69e664421573">Re: Wedding Party - But not walk down the aisle at ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]I would call them wedding party, and just not be traditional about what they do. Tell them to wear what they want, or be super flexible about what they wear (aka LBDs for ladies, black suits for men). Then get them each a bout or coursage instead of traditional bouquets. At the ceremony, have them seated in the front row. They can walk in at the beginning just as mothers would without making it a big procession, or they can just seat themselves with the rest of the guests if you really want to avoid the processional. There's no rule that says they aren't WP if they don't stand at the aisle or have a big processional.
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I vote for this idea.

</div>

mercy4 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-but-not-walk-down-aisle-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7eb6be82-8aa2-4737-89ad-2393c26bbac3Post:4b836cb1-eb69-4cd4-8074-1abecab3593a">Re: Wedding Party - But not walk down the aisle at ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm a little confused about this. If you don't want them to walk down the aisle with you and stand up for you, why have a WP at all? You could just as easily invite these people as guests. And you could still have them at your RD if you wanted.
Posted by rebarobert2012[/QUOTE]

<div>Right...</div>

cebrady89 · December 2011

Have them wear corsages, but don't list them in the programs or ask them to be with you getting ready.

You could invite them to the rehearsal dinner and maybe make a mention that they are your "unnoficial wedding party" or something - but I really don't think that's necessary.

msuprincess04 · December 2011

Just put, "And with special thanks to: ...." In the program.

VirgoBella · December 2011

I don't think it would be called a wedding party then. That title would have to be removed.

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