Confusing Registry Entry

Peledreamsofrain · August 2012

Hi all,

I know I'm not supposed to do this, but I've been peeking at my registry (heehee shame on me, couldn't help it!). And I found a seriously mystifying purchase: someone bought 1 set of silverware. One fork, one spoon, one knife. Buh?

I don't think this is a purchase by someone that didn't have much to spend, as I made sure to include a large spectrum of prices in the items I chose.

Is there a tradition of some sort concerning a starter set of silverware? I've never heard of any such thing. And I'm starting to grow concerned that someone made an error that might later embarrass them. The last thing I want at my wedding is to have someone feel terrible

Suggestions? Ideas? Slaps on the wrist for peeking? :P

Edit: oops, forgot to mention that these arn't silverware of beaten gold or anything. Midrange in price.

jessicabessica · August 2012

Did you add flatware by the place setting? If so, then why is it strange that that's what someone got you? And why would they get embarassed? You shouldn't be planning to open gifts at the wedding, and you write them a genuine thank you note no matter what they give.

I registry stalked, and a lot of people do it, but if you find yourself getting worried over things like this, I would try to cut back. It should be exciting, not troubling

MyNameIsNot · August 2012

Wait until you actually receive the gift to do anything about it. Plenty of flatware is sold by the place setting (just like dishes). Sometimes when a person purchases a gift from the registry and something else in the same transaction, the other item will show up on your registry with "0 requested, 1 purchased." (This is how a person could register at target and wind up with tampons and a snickers on their registry). It could be that the person was buying the silverware as a gift for someone else or for themselves.

If you do get the set, send a thank you note and return it for something that you did register for.

hoffse · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_confusing-registry-entry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:90833106-6251-4893-9496-3a3ea7af1803Post:a4d14b5e-388a-4e23-8607-6b41c301378e">Confusing Registry Entry</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi all, I know I'm not supposed to do this, but I've been peeking at my registry (heehee shame on me, couldn't help it!). And I found a seriously mystifying purchase: someone bought 1 set of silverware. One fork, one spoon, one knife. Buh? I don't think this is a purchase by someone that didn't have much to spend, as I made sure to include a large spectrum of prices in the items I chose. Is there a tradition of some sort concerning a starter set of silverware? I've never heard of any such thing. And I'm starting to grow concerned that someone made an error that might later embarrass them. The last thing I want at my wedding is to have someone feel terrible :( Suggestions? Ideas? Slaps on the wrist for peeking? :P Edit: oops, forgot to mention that these arn't silverware of beaten gold or anything. Midrange in price.
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yeah I'm not sure why this is confusing. If your flatware is sold by the place setitng, plenty of people will buy you one or two place settings. My flatware is $50/place setting normally... it would be crazy for one person to spend $600+ (including serving pieces) to get my flatware. Same thing will happen with your dishes/china and crystal if you registered for that.

</div>

TheSlowskys · August 2012

Why are you confused? I bought two settings for someone and spent 120. I guess I should be embarrassed.

emeejeeayen · August 2012

The only way this makes sense to me is if you added silverware by the item. IE, you requested 8 spoons, 8 knives, 8 forks, etc, and they were each separate items. Are you worried that the person thought they were buying a set?

Avion22 · August 2012

Yeah, I don't see what's "troubling" about someone buying you one place setting of silverware. If you registered for it, then they are getting you something you registered for. If you didn't, then you can always return it. How would the giver be embarrassed????? Unless you plan on posting on Facebook that so-and-so only gave you one place setting of silverware, which I hope you don't plan on doing...

Peledreamsofrain · August 2012

Thanks for the replies. I absolutely do plan on giving a gracious thank you, no matter what happens. That's non-negotiable for me, my family is VERY stout on manners and has raised me that way. That's one of the reasons that I posted here to clarify the situation, and how to handle it. I care deeply about my guests' comfort, which was why I was concerned.

I'm glad to learn that I'm not expected to open gifts in front of people (whew!). I did order the flat-ware by place-settings with the intention for creating a set for entertainment. I suppose that's why I got confused. Personally, if I chose to buy entertainment items off of a registry, I'd buy it in pairs. It seems odd (in my own mind of course) to buy items specifically for entertainment in solo.

After reading the forum, I've also learned that registries can fail to update correctly as well. That could also be the case here. I dearly hope not. Ending up with 20 sets of flatware would be.... interesting to say the least.

It's probably just a matter of how one person looks at things versus another person.

And I most definitely do not use Facebook to harm people. Facebook is for news of joy and happiness.

hoffse · August 2012

OP, people will buy things they like at the price they want to spend. If they want to spend $50 they might buy one place setting. If they want to spend $100 they'll buy two. As your wedding gets closer things will keep coming off the list, and you might end up with an odd number of items from a particular set. That's what the completion discount is for.

Peledreamsofrain · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_confusing-registry-entry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:90833106-6251-4893-9496-3a3ea7af1803Post:9d18528a-d9fb-4e0c-9834-102963d42671">Re: Confusing Registry Entry</a>:
[QUOTE]OP, people will buy things they like at the price they want to spend. If they want to spend $50 they might buy one place setting. If they want to spend $100 they'll buy two. As your wedding gets closer things will keep coming off the list, and you might end up with an odd number of items from a particular set. That's what the completion discount is for.
Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]

I love all the knowledge here, I'm glad I posted! I had no idea there was such a thing as a completion discount. Do you know how much the store usually offers in those circumstances? Or how to request it?

Avion22 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_confusing-registry-entry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:90833106-6251-4893-9496-3a3ea7af1803Post:a4e322c3-4ff3-4d0a-a059-3b50b967d2db">Re: Confusing Registry Entry</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the replies. I absolutely do plan on giving a gracious thank you, no matter what happens. That's non-negotiable for me, my family is VERY stout on manners and has raised me that way. That's one of the reasons that I posted here to clarify the situation, and how to handle it. I care deeply about my guests' comfort, which was why I was concerned. I'm glad to learn that I'm not expected to open gifts in front of people (whew!). I did order the flat-ware by place-settings with the intention for creating a set for entertainment. I suppose that's why I got confused. Personally, if I chose to buy entertainment items off of a registry, I'd buy it in pairs. It seems odd (in my own mind of course) to buy items specifically for entertainment in solo. After reading the forum, I've also learned that registries can fail to update correctly as well. That could also be the case here. I dearly hope not. <strong> Ending up with 20 sets of flatware would be.... interesting to say the least.</strong> It's probably just a matter of how one person looks at things versus another person. And I most definitely do not use Facebook to harm people. Facebook is for news of joy and happiness.
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You shouldn't end up with 20 sets of flatware unless you registered for 20 sets of flatware. That's the point of registering...you let people know what you want and in what quantities, and usually it gets at least partially fufilled (if not completely). If somehow you do end up with more sets of flatware than you registered for, then you can always return the extras. It's no big deal.</div><div>
</div><div>Completion discounts vary by store, but are usually around 10%. Some can be used in conjunction with other sales/coupons, and some cannot. Check with your specific store for details.

</div>

rlavach · August 2012

Like PP have already mentioned, it's nothing to be worried about. I received 1 goblet from a guest and 1 placesetting of china from another. I ended up buying the rest with cash gifts we received. Different stores offer different registry incentives, so check with your store to see what they offer.

MyNameIsNot · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_confusing-registry-entry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:90833106-6251-4893-9496-3a3ea7af1803Post:7ab612d7-50bd-4c4c-8caa-f7f3bf8fa889">Re: Confusing Registry Entry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confusing Registry Entry : I love all the knowledge here, I'm glad I posted! I had no idea there was such a thing as a completion discount. Do you know how much the store usually offers in those circumstances? Or how to request it?
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

<div>It depends on the store, but usually somewhere around 10-20%. It's usually included in the info they give you when you first create the registry. </div><div>
</div><div>Macys and BB&B mailed the discounts to us a month or so after the wedding. I assume that's how most would do it.</div>

i2012do · August 2012

If you registered for flat ware settings by the setting than this is normal. I didn't. However I did do that for my China, and I receive ONE place setting from one aunt, and one from another- etc to build my set.

However, I do see your point in that why would someone chose to get you one fork and knife when there are other $40 gifts on your registry.

I had someone buy ONE glass off my registry. ONE wine glass. Yes ,they were sold singally, but I thought it was totally weird that someone purchased 1!! When it came time for my shower- the single glass didn't show up. It's still"on " my registry as purchased but its yet to peek out.

The only thing I an think is someone bought one, thinking it was a set, then returned it when they realized it was a single glass and it didn't go back on. OR it somehow made its way OFF The registry.Or someone bought it to use it as a reference point to go buy more at the Lenox outlet store or something...

hoffse · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_confusing-registry-entry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:90833106-6251-4893-9496-3a3ea7af1803Post:7e61afd0-9ccd-49f6-9ec2-1edcca5f5b65">Re: Confusing Registry Entry</a>:
[QUOTE]If you registered for flat ware settings by the setting than this is normal. I didn't. However I did do that for my China, and I receive ONE place setting from one aunt, and one from another- etc to build my set. However, I do see your point in that why would someone chose to get you one fork and knife when there are other $40 gifts on your registry. I had someone buy ONE glass off my registry. <strong>ONE wine glass. Yes ,they were sold singally, but I thought it was totally weird that someone purchased 1!! </strong>When it came time for my shower- the single glass didn't show up. It's still"on " my registry as purchased but its yet to peek out. The only thing I an think is someone bought one, thinking it was a set, then returned it when they realized it was a single glass and it didn't go back on. OR it somehow made its way OFF The registry.Or someone bought it to use it as a reference point to go buy more at the Lenox outlet store or something...
Posted by i2012do[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Sorry, but I don't see that as weird. Lenox patterns are often in the $40/each range - sometimes less if it's one of their everyday lines like Lenox Tuscany. I could see being a little confused if it's $10/stem, but not if it's more than that. Around here shower gifts are usually in the $10-$50 range. That person may be giving it to you for a wedding gift as well.</div><div>
</div><div>I'm living in Alabama at the moment, and one of the very traditional things that people still register for down here is sterling flatware. I've seen it a lot recently. It's very typical to get a single spoon or something because the place spoons are often around $150/each... serving spoons are usually in the $300/each range. So people buy a single piece to help get you started. I think it's crazy to register for stuff you aren't willing to complete at least over time. You aren't guaranteed to get that very fancy china, etc and the more expensive it is, the fewer pieces you're going to get.

</div>

Peledreamsofrain · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_confusing-registry-entry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:90833106-6251-4893-9496-3a3ea7af1803Post:7e61afd0-9ccd-49f6-9ec2-1edcca5f5b65">Re: Confusing Registry Entry</a>:
[QUOTE]If you registered for flat ware settings by the setting than this is normal. I didn't. However I did do that for my China, and I receive ONE place setting from one aunt, and one from another- etc to build my set. However, I do see your point in that why would someone chose to get you one fork and knife when there are other $40 gifts on your registry. I had someone buy ONE glass off my registry. ONE wine glass. Yes ,they were sold singally, but I thought it was totally weird that someone purchased 1!! When it came time for my shower- the single glass didn't show up. It's still"on " my registry as purchased but its yet to peek out. The only thing I an think is someone bought one, thinking it was a set, then returned it when they realized it was a single glass and it didn't go back on. OR it somehow made its way OFF The registry.Or someone bought it to use it as a reference point to go buy more at the Lenox outlet store or something...
Posted by i2012do[/QUOTE]

You've pinpointed exactly where my confusion was coming from. I guess it's just a personal point of view, as I personlly would buy entertainment items in pairs. But everyone I've queried on this point has said it's traditionally completely normal not to (including my mother :P). I didn't see anything wrong with it, it just threw me.

I am really happy to learn about the completion discount, and I hadn't been thinking about possible cash gifts to use to complete the sets, so I feel really good about the chances of getting a complete entertainment set.

I can't wait to use them! They arn't an expensive set or anything, but they're very tasteful, and I've only ever owned Walmart specials or Goodwill castoffs. Eeee exciting!

hoffse · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_confusing-registry-entry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:90833106-6251-4893-9496-3a3ea7af1803Post:66f5e223-8cae-4238-bab0-d81e76f068f1">Re: Confusing Registry Entry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confusing Registry Entry : You've pinpointed exactly where my confusion was coming from. I guess it's just a personal point of view, as I personlly would buy entertainment items in pairs. But everyone I've queried on this point has said it's traditionally completely normal not to (including my mother :P). I didn't see anything wrong with it, it just threw me. I am really happy to learn about the completion discount, and I hadn't been thinking about possible cash gifts to use to complete the sets, so I feel really good about the chances of getting a complete entertainment set. I can't wait to use them! They arn't an expensive set or anything, but they're very tasteful, and I've only ever owned Walmart specials or Goodwill castoffs. Eeee exciting!
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Glad you're excited :) Another trick is to use completion discounts to buy furniture... pottery barn and crate and barrel let you do that, and they let you add anything you want after the wedding to use your discount. So if you don't want people seeing a several thousand dollar bedroom set, you just add it later but still get the 10% off, which adds up really quickly.

</div>

i2012do · August 2012

I

n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_confusing-registry-entry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:90833106-6251-4893-9496-3a3ea7af1803Post:83f6a013-04ba-4c3d-bc73-822608c39c59">Re: Confusing Registry Entry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confusing Registry Entry : Sorry, but I don't see that as weird. Lenox patterns are often in the $40/each range - sometimes less if it's one of their everyday lines like Lenox Tuscany. I could see being a little confused if it's $10/stem, but not if it's more than that. Around here shower gifts are usually in the $10-$50 range. That person may be giving it to you for a wedding gift as well. I'm living in Alabama at the moment, and one of the very traditional things that people still register for down here is sterling flatware. I've seen it a lot recently. It's very typical to get a single spoon or something because the place spoons are often around $150/each... serving spoons are usually in the $300/each range. So people buy a single piece to help get you started. I think it's crazy to register for stuff you aren't willing to complete at least over time. You aren't guaranteed to get that very fancy china, etc and the more expensive it is, the fewer pieces you're going to get.
Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]

I def. think this is a regional thing, because here the amount of spending is different. I typically spend $50-100 on a shower gift, so its improtant to keep in mind that not all regions are the same.

I actually could see getting one complete flatware set. if it was a fork knife sppoon.
I do think its odd that someone would buy one spoon- but at $150 thats a lot! so I guess i can see if thats all someone can afford.

It doesnt mean its wrong or anything, and obvisously people are happy to accept ANY gify they get, it just seems odd. I'd rather buy the couple a food processor for $150 or $200.
Also, i noticed hte PP mentioned these were wedding gifts. So its kind of a Moot point- because its not like she'll be opening the gifts at the wedding.
I was thinking more along the lines of shower gifts.

I know my bridesmaids and I were waiting for the single glass to appear and try not to giggle. Tradtionally items like those are given in Sets. (glasses, champagne flutes etc)

Though i can see getting 1 full flatware set as normal, including a 5 piece setting.
One spoon is kind of up there with the glass.

hoffse · August 2012

It's true that it's somewhat regional, but I hope your BMs didn't giggle when the single glass appeared. I'm sort of surprised they knew to watch for it...

I dunno, I think it's more common than not to spend what you can afford rather than necessarily buying things in sets. If your budget is $80 and the bride registered for waterford lismore, then a single wine glass eats up your budget. And if you want to get her crystal, then you get her a single piece. That's all I'm saying.

kmsst48 · August 2012

Ok, well my mother is the freaking oddball and always, I mean always, puts random crap on the gifts or baskets. We went to a wedding where our cousin did register for individual pieces of silverware from Walmart. My mother bought the sliverware and used it in the ribboning of the packages. It looked SUPER cute but like she only bought 4 forks, spoons and knives. Weird but whatever. Usually she buys the teatowels and makes them into angels for the packages or uses kitchen tools like spatualas and stuff. LOL.

Don't freak out, it all comes together in the end.

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