How to RSVP food choice polietly

erinhepinstall · February 2012

I recieved a wedding invitation to a relatives wedding, and absolutely plan on going. However on the RSVP card it gives two options for dinner; beer or chicken. I am a vegitatian, and have been for a few years now.....what is the poliet way to ask for a veggie alternatinve? - I know that wedding budgets are always tight, but if i am traveling all that way i would like to be able to eat.......

Avion22 · February 2012

I would recommend calling the couple and asking if it would be possible to arrange for a vegetarian meal.

froggatt.clare · February 2012

As a veggie, I totally understand your predicament.

1. Don't worry about price - veggie meals are always cheaper to produce, and even if the caterer is an a-hole and inflates the price, the bride and groom will only be paying for your meal as if you ordered the more expensive option.
2. Write in 'vegetarian meal if possible' on your RSVP card. I usually add a note that says 'if no veggie meal is available, I will take either the chicken or beef, without meat or meat sauce on my plate."

You think you're being a pain, but I guarantee that there are other vegetarians invited to this wedding, or people with random food allergies and intolerances. You will not be the most high-maintenance guest!

MattsPenguin · February 2012

Ditto, just call the couple. The reception venue SHOULD have a vegetarian option.
For ours we offered beef, chicken, and vegetarian. However we ended up with a vegan that we didn't know about. Our venue was incredibly accomodating.

Maggie0829 · February 2012

I agree with PP. Just give them a call, make some small talk and catch up and then politely ask about the food. I doubt they will give you a hard time about it.

chumlee7478 · February 2012

Ditto PPs. Calling the couple is the best route. The venue should be able to accomodate. Just don't end run the couple and call the venue directly, like one of my guests just did. Speaking to the hosts is the best way to handle it.

Avion22 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-food-choice-polietly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c135162-2877-4fbc-8b6d-3adc585932e3Post:3adad6b7-45af-442c-9a45-11310763f468">Re: How to RSVP food choice polietly</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto PPs. Calling the couple is the best route. The venue should be able to accomodate. <strong>Just don't end run the couple and call the venue directly, like one of my guests just did. </strong> Speaking to the hosts is the best way to handle it.
Posted by chumlee7478[/QUOTE]

<div>Really? Yikes. That's rude.</div>

achiduck · February 2012

I would call them and say something. Most venues have no problems offereing a veggie-friendly dish, but I've found a lot of people don't put it on the RSVP cards.

sarahlm619 · February 2012

The option MAY even be cheaper -- so I wouldn't worry about the money -- I looked at a few different vendors -- I know my cousin is vegitarian so I asked -- and both places it was LESS expensive...

raes19 · February 2012

I didn't put a veg option on our RSVP cards, but we did have someone that just wrote "vegetarian" underneath the other options. No problemo.

StephBeanWed61502 · February 2012

At several of the venues I visited, the vegetarian options was what they referred to as a "silent" option - basically, it wasn't something they put on their menus or publicized to the general guest list, but it was available upon request for those that needed it. Just call and check with the couple, I would bet this is something their venue can accommodate.

chumlee7478 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-food-choice-polietly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c135162-2877-4fbc-8b6d-3adc585932e3Post:0190bc03-1f12-42be-a979-eae60ff087ec">Re: How to RSVP food choice polietly</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to RSVP food choice polietly : Really? Yikes. That's rude.
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

Yes, it was rude. The manager at my venue didn't get the guests name, but she wrote the call back number. It's my dad's sister in law, I am not surprised. She has done this before, she'll continue to do it. She will search website of the venue to try and find the price info so she can "pay for her plate" as well.

Ugh.

mbody · February 2012

I'd just call the couple and ask for a vegeterian plate. I don't think that would be difficult for a venue to do. Our choices are chicken or vegeterian. Butour venue said several of their plates can be gluten-free or made vegan, ect. So we put under the choices, "Please inform the bride or groom of any special dietary need."

chumlee7478 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-food-choice-polietly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c135162-2877-4fbc-8b6d-3adc585932e3Post:2d3b4dd3-cd62-4c79-af21-aec1ea0a7611">Re: How to RSVP food choice polietly</a>:
[QUOTE]Chumlee, your guest list is wacky.
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

No kidding. I'm all sorts of done. This was an "aunt" that I do not speak to at all, but hey, she married my uncle, she needs to be invited. She's a prize and a half, but etiquette was followed by inviting all first cousins/aunts/uncles. We did the right thing, at the expense of my sanity.

Now I just get to grind my teeth and drink heavily until April 29th is over.

mollyehren · February 2012

I think it is ok to call the couple, but if you hit any resistance just pick the option that it is the easiest to remove the meat from.

rlavach · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-food-choice-polietly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c135162-2877-4fbc-8b6d-3adc585932e3Post:3abfe3c3-bfe4-4fe5-95b1-4e7d979797ff">Re: How to RSVP food choice polietly</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it is ok to call the couple, but if you hit any resistance just pick the<strong> option that it is the easiest to remove the meat from</strong>.
Posted by mollyehren[/QUOTE]
Depending upon why the OP is vegetarian, this may not be an option. Plus, only eating the sides wouldn't make for a very filling meal. There is no reason why in 2012 a place can't provide a vegetarian meal.<div>
</div><div>I'm vegan and have never had a problem. I've never received an invite that asks which meal choice I want. I just go and if it's buffet, I ask the waitstaff for the ingredients. If it's seated, I tell the waiter that I'd like a vegan meal. They always accomodate. Like a PP mentioned, the veg meal is cheaper for the venue to make, so they won't charge the couple more. But they are not likely to charge less.</div>

chumlee7478 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-food-choice-polietly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c135162-2877-4fbc-8b6d-3adc585932e3Post:1197fc9b-63c6-4707-b03e-35b85ba9f25b">Re: How to RSVP food choice polietly</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to RSVP food choice polietly : Oh hon. I'm sorry. I hope you have fun! You're getting married!
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

Thank you! I will day of. I'm just realizing that the phrase "weddings bring out the worst in people" is true. My mom and I are fighting about a veil, I've got an "aunt" bothering my catering manager, FI needs surgery before the wedding (that would be stressful no matter the timing), and I'm bummed one of my best friends won't be able to make the wedding because her deployment got extended. I just miss her and was looking forward to seeing her. Oh well....another time!

zitiqueen · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-food-choice-polietly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c135162-2877-4fbc-8b6d-3adc585932e3Post:14b0dbdc-c88e-4f9b-aeac-1b32aa3c2f10">How to RSVP food choice polietly</a>:
[QUOTE]I recieved a wedding invitation to a relatives wedding, and absolutely plan on going. However on the RSVP card it gives two options for dinner; beer or chicken. I am a vegitatian, and have been for a few years now.....what is the poliet way to ask for a veggie alternatinve? - I know that wedding budgets are always tight, but if i am traveling all that way i would like to be able to eat.......
Posted by erinhepinstall[/QUOTE]

I'm pretty sure beer qualifies as vegatation.

staceycaine · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-food-choice-polietly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c135162-2877-4fbc-8b6d-3adc585932e3Post:2d0f7161-c6ba-44f7-b13d-79f975f6e609">Re: How to RSVP food choice polietly</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to How to RSVP food choice polietly : I'm pretty sure beer qualifies as vegatation.
Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]

You beat me to it!

likeadeadstar · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-food-choice-polietly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c135162-2877-4fbc-8b6d-3adc585932e3Post:81a5e3e1-8a2b-499c-8a07-f61234826994">Re: How to RSVP food choice polietly</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to RSVP food choice polietly : Depending upon why the OP is vegetarian, this may not be an option. Plus, only eating the sides wouldn't make for a very filling meal.
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

Totally agree; I was a plus one and there were no meal options, and when the entree was served, I couldn't eat the meat dish due to medical issues. I ate a LOT of the bread, the roasted potatoes and dessert (the other veggie was another I can't eat and the soup had a meat I can't eat). Now, granted, this was my date's fault for not asking (he's my ex for many reasons; being oblivious to my opinion/feelings is but one), but there definitely has to be a more filling option and any venue should do it.

I'm dreading my food RSVPs because even though we're having a buffet, we have multiple people with diabetes, celiac's, crohn's, vegans, vegetarians, food allergies.... It's insane, and I'm part of the madness. We're having two different types of cupcakes even - one vegan and gluten free; one standard. But I know how much it sucks to not be able to eat (especially when drinking!) so I'm going all out in the food dept.

zitiqueen · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-food-choice-polietly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c135162-2877-4fbc-8b6d-3adc585932e3Post:27192f2f-a28b-49cb-b440-3f9bf16a5879">Re: How to RSVP food choice polietly</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to RSVP food choice polietly : Oh, and it's vegetation.
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

Actually we're both wrong; it's <em>vegitatian</em>.

How to RSVP food choice polietly

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