opening wedding gifts

Re: opening wedding gifts

• nnoble4

  

  April 2011 edited December 2011

  I have no idea what's traditional or appropriate or whatever. But, I have heard about it.  I think it could be fun, sort of like your shower, but more people.
  
  If you think it's really important to your FMIL, you could do a mini version of it.  You can say, rather than invite everyone, I'd prefer if we limited the guest so it is more personal.
  
  I believe a friend of mine did this, they had like a brunch or lunch with guests, and opened gifts.

  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  April 2011 edited December 2011

  Your wedding presents should not be opened in the company of other people. It wouldn't be right for people to sit there and chit chat about what Aunt Jane got your or how much she spent.
  
  Wedding presents should be opened by you and your new husband. It is fine to open them if front of both sets of parents, but other than that, not many other people should be present. It should be a private event.
  
  I like the idea of reserving a different room to open presents, but again, I don't think all of your guests, family and friends should be present. Just you, your new husband and perhaps both sets of parents.
  

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• buckeyesweetz

  

  April 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-columbus_opening-wedding-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:112Discussion:4c745864-817f-40ff-806d-876ca57af9fbPost:5bc29083-c157-4387-93ad-599a80416ed4">Re: opening wedding gifts</a>:
  [QUOTE]Your wedding presents should not be opened in the company of other people. It wouldn't be right for people to sit there and chit chat about what Aunt Jane got your or how much she spent. Wedding presents should be opened by you and your new husband. It is fine to open them if front of both sets of parents, but other than that, not many other people should be present. It should be a private event. I like the idea of reserving a different room to open presents, but again, I don't think all of your guests, family and friends should be present. Just you, your new husband and perhaps both sets of parents.
  Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]
  
  This is what I was thinking 100%!!! I think it would be super awkward to open an obviously expensive gift from Aunt Sue, and then follow that up with a set of cooking utensils (which we want and need but obviously less $$) from cousin Jon.
  
  I was sort of speechless today when she mentioned it because the way she asked if I had something set up kind of made it sound like "well duh of course everyone will want to be present". I told her that I'd talk it over with my FI and get back to her.
  
  I'm glad I'm not wrong to think it would be super weird to open in front of others. We will only be in town for 1 day after the wedding before driving back to Virginia, and I'd rather take time to visit with extended family that spreads all of the country that we never get to see than sit and have what would feel like another "shower".
  
  How would you suggest we let FI's mom know that this is not going to be the plan. I don't want to hurt her feelings, especially since this is something she obviously wants the entire extended family to witness.

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• kiyamurph

  

  April 2011 edited December 2011

  I agree with Missy.  However, the last wedding that I went to during NYE, they had a brunch the next day at the MOBs house and they opened gifts then.  It was a pretty small gathering and it was very informal since people were coming in and out.  It didn't seem to be tacky at all and everyone was pretty relaxed about it.  It wasn't like a shower where everyone sat in a circle and watched them open gifts.  The guys were mostly watching TV and it was mostly the women who wanted to see the gifts.  If you want to do something like that then I don't see anything wrong with it, but I wouldn't do like your FMIL wants to do which is reserve the conference room at the hotel.  To me that's a little uncomfortable, especially since you said it would be a bunch of people.  Plus, if I were an OOT guest, I wouldn't want to go to something like that before checking out of the hotel, but that's just me though.

  Maybe you could tell your FMIL that both you and your FI aren't comfortable opening all of your gifts in front of all of those people and that it's something that the 2 of you would like to do together with close family.  Maybe having your FI on your side and including her in the gift opening might soften the blow a bit.

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• buckeyesweetz

  

  April 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-columbus_opening-wedding-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:112Discussion:4c745864-817f-40ff-806d-876ca57af9fbPost:31c70509-e467-4713-ac84-9aa8fb42cf87">Re: opening wedding gifts</a>:
  [QUOTE] Maybe you could tell your FMIL that both  you and your FI aren't comfortable opening all of your gifts in front of all of those people and that it's something that the 2 of you would like to do together with close family.  Maybe having your FI on your side and including her in the gift opening might soften the blow a bit.
  Posted by kiyamurph[/QUOTE]
  
  I was thinking the same thing! I haven't gotten a chance to talk to him about it because of his job, but I know he'd feel just as awkward about it as I do. Thanks :)

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  April 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-columbus_opening-wedding-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:112Discussion:4c745864-817f-40ff-806d-876ca57af9fbPost:27803b86-96d4-43c8-a454-5f77cb048b0f">Re: opening wedding gifts</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re: opening wedding gifts :  How would you suggest we let FI's mom know that this is not going to be the plan. I don't want to hurt her feelings, especially since this is something she obviously wants the entire extended family to witness.
  Posted by buckeyesweetz[/QUOTE]
  
  I would tell her exactly what you wrote in your thread. Tell her you would rather spend it mingling and enjoying the company of family and friends before you have to head back.  Hopefully she will understand. Good luck.
  
  We were in a somewhat similar predicament. We live (and still do) in GA. We drove up a week before the wedding, but left the next day for our HM. Then we had to drive back to GA.
  
  We had our reception venue all evening, so after the majority of our guests left and it was just our parents and siblings, H and I actually opened a few gifts at the country club. The cards and envelopes we saved for after we got back from the HM and then deposited them into the bank.

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  April 2011 edited December 2011

  And if your MIL still doesn't want to listen, you may have to have your FI talk to her. Hopefully that will work.

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• buckeyesweetz

  

  April 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-columbus_opening-wedding-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:112Discussion:4c745864-817f-40ff-806d-876ca57af9fbPost:4f829d5f-8fd1-4b3b-a81c-65a18096f12c">Re: opening wedding gifts</a>:
  [QUOTE]And if your MIL still doesn't want to listen, you may have to have your FI talk to her. Hopefully that will work.
  Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]
  
  I'm sure she will listen. We have a really good relationship and I care about her a lot. That's probably why this issue got me so worked up haha :) Thanks for the advice!

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• Belle0000

  

  April 2011 edited December 2011

  I went to a wedding where the bride & groom did that (opened the next morning at the hotel), but I thought it was awkward.  Especially since it wasn't even in a private room, it was in the corner of a very large hotel lobby.  The groom was just the kind of person who tended to brag about himself (i.e., at a friend's wedding earlier that year, he was talking about how much better his would be), so it seemed as if it was more like they were showing off. 

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• stanzi113

  

  April 2011 edited December 2011

  I always imagined it was something that we would do the morning after at home with just the two of us or maybe parents along(if i can wait that long). And there will be champagne 
  
  My mom talks about how they went back to their house after their morning wedding and opened presents with the best man and the MOH over beer and pizza.  That sounds like a bunch of fun and way more my style rather than in an empty hotel conf room.

  210 Invited
  140 Are ready to party!
  32 Will be missing out!
  38 Are MIA!
  

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• buckeyesweetz

  

  April 2011 edited December 2011

  Thanks girls! Yes I would worry that it would look like showing off as well. My FI is going to talk to her, and we're planning on having breakfast at the hotel with our OOT guests that morning and not even worry about gifts until we get back to VA.

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• rnshelly member

  

  April 2011 edited December 2011

  We opened the next day in our hotel room where our reception was by ourselves.  Our parents were resting and we spent the time to enjoy alone.  We were fine with having our parents there, but I think its more of a private matter.  I wouldn't make it a party? 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

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