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July 2012 Weddings
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Well, here's a new one.

bridetobe71412bridetobe71412
1000 Comments Combo Breaker
in July 2012 Weddings

I think we've been pretty lucky with RSVPs for our wedding - no weird RSVPs, no added guests, no illegible write-ins, etc.

Until yesterday.

We get an RSVP (yes, 2 weeks late) from my fiance's dad's cousin. She added a guest. Ok, fine. I can deal with it. We're under our budgeted number, so that's not (really) the issue.

Wait. She's not coming to the wedding? She's not coming to the reception? She's driving in from NJ and is JUST COMING TO THE MORNING-AFTER BRUNCH (which is ostensibly just for out-of-town guests staying overnight in the hotels).

I'm slightly insulted, but then I think, maybe she just can't make it to the wedding and really wants to be a part of it in some way?

Other information:
- Neither fiance nor I have ever met this woman and it was a "courtesy" invite for fiance's grandfather.
- This woman is about 45 years old, unmarried, added her daughter as her guest (unsure on the age of the daughter)
- Brunch is turning into a mini-wedding. We have 98 RSVPs "yes" for brunch and about 150 people coming to the wedding.
- Our brunch room at the Four Seasons only holds 60-100 people. We're pushing the limit right now as it stands.

So, ladies. I need your advice. What would you do in this situation? Should I just leave it alone?

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Re: Well, here's a new one.

  • mbodymbody
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    That is really strange that she RSVPed no the wedding and yes to the morning after brunch. That's a new one for me too. I'd just leave it alone because I wouldn't even want to deal with it. But, I don't think you'd be in the wrong if you did say something to her. 
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  • BeachLover2885BeachLover2885 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary
    That is very strange! I agree with mbody about leaving it alone and just letting her come to the brunch. For the life of me I don't get why people would think they could attend the brunch if they don't make it to the wedding. That is so bizarre. What does your mom think?
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  • rachael7183rachael7183 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    Omg...I didnt think that many people stayed for brunch the next day! LOL...
    I would also leave it alone as frustrating as it is...
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  • michelle11988michelle11988 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    That is totally strange and bizzare. Why would she want to go to the morning after brunch after not attending the wedding?  I would probably leave it alone as this sounds weird and hope she might not come.  Maybe she thinks its a second wedding reception? IDK.

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  • BmoreBride311BmoreBride311 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    OMG, so weird. I'm guessing she didn't write in any kind of explanation. Is it possible the way your RSVP card looks that maybe she inverted her responses? Like meant to check Yes for ceremony & reception and No for the brunch? So ppl make the dumbest mistakes and I wonder if that is more likely than her coming to just the brunch.

    Maybe you should just call her to confirm her plans (you can say you are calling to find out the daughter's age... which you also probably need to know).
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  • bridetobe71412bridetobe71412
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited June 2012

    Thanks for the advice, ladies.

    It's so weird. I'm not totally sure my fiance's dad has this woman's phone number - I think just his grandfather does. I may have him call just to clarify whether or not she meant to just reply to the brunch and, if so, her daughter's name/age/etc. (since she wasn't actually invited with her daughter). It's not the end of the world that she comes to the brunch, but I still find this behavior bizarre. Who writes in a guest for a post-wedding event when they're not even going to the wedding? I don't get it.

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  • ILoveToRobotILoveToRobot member
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    I think it's probably a good idea to call and ask if she meant to RSVP only to the brunch. If it's really going to be an issue you could tell her that you're really sorry but you didn't receive her RSVP until 2 weeks after the deadline and that you've already given your numbers to the caterer etc and that they are not allowing you any wiggle room.
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  • butterflyjumper1butterflyjumper1
    1000 Comments
    maybe she accidentally did this?!? We had lots of people screw up their meal choices and even screw up the front side of the card with the accepts/declines on it so it wouldn't surprise me if she messed up her response card.....regardless, WTF? so. weird. 
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  • owengirl996owengirl996 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    I'm in the "maybe she screwed up?" camp. I would probably try to see if someone can get ahold of her. Otherwise, I'd leave it alone, I think. It's possible others messed up and aren't actually going to the brunch either? So maybe you will not be as close to your limit as you thought? I don't know lol

    Our RSVPs had two cards, one for our Indiana reception and one for Mass. There was also an info card inserted to explain. Yea...several people still wrote one person's name on one, and one person's name on the other. I KNOW these people are not coming to both receptions...and certainly not the Massachusetts one. It's funny...my 83 yr old grandmother did this, and so did her 87 year old sister lol Sometimes people have an idea in their head of how they should fill out these RSVPs, and either don't understand, or don't really read them. Try not to stress...at least it's just two people and not, like, 6!
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