Hi, First post and need lots of help

KJeffs · March 2012

This is my firs post but I have been reading everyone else's. This is the third marriage for both of us but the first big everything we have ever wanted one. And I am so lost, I'm not sure how to word the invitions, if I should do seating charts. My husband died 5 1/2 years ago, how do I tell his parents that I am getting married again? I havent talked to them in 7 years. See so many questions, Please help

Avion22 · March 2012

Welcome and congrats!

1. Word the invitations like you would for any other wedding:-) If you are hosting it yourselves (sounds like you probably are) then you can skip listing the parents. Of you can do the ever-popular "Together with their families..." (that's what we did)

2. Whether you do seating charts depends a lot on the formality of your wedding. We're assigning tables (not seats) so we're just going to do escort cards on a table that guests can pick up and move to their seat (that they can pick at their assigned table). If you are doing a seated or buffet meal, then I would recommend you at least assign tables so that groups don't get broken up. If you're doing something more casual (like a picnic) or aren't having a full meal, then you don't need assigned seating/tables.

3. I didn't tell my late husband's family anything. I haven't spoken a word to his parents since the day we scattered his ashes (and they decided to publicly blame me for his suicide...yeah...awesome). My former SIL knows from facebook (we still talk some but aren't close), and I'm sure she's told them, but they aren't a part of my life and I feel no need to initiate contact with them when they've been so horrible to me. I don't see any reason that you SHOULD tell his parents you're getting married. But if you want to, or feel you have to for closure, then maybe write them a letter.

KJeffs · March 2012

Thank you, and I am very sorry about your inlaws. With mine they did not even come to their son's funeral. I am not in their religion. I have three kids and my fiance doesn't have any so we were thinking of having the kids names and saying they invite everyone to the wedding? Do all of you get tired of hearing about wedding stuff?? I don't get tired of talking about it but all my friend are VERY tired of hearing it

Hawt83 · March 2012

Remember this is your day. You can word your invites however makes you happy. As for your inlaws....if you have had no contact with them, then dont feel like you have to tell them. BUT, if you wish to, maybe a card with a short note in it would do.
I also lost my hubby 5.5 years ago. Who knew I would ever marry again! Best of luck to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sue-n-Kevin · March 2012

ITA Avion. It's amazing the cruelty of people.

Welcome KJeffs. We are looking forward to hearing all about your wedding, we don't get bored of it. Since many of us had our weddings in the past, it's fun to see "newbies" post about theirs.

I agree with everyone else's answers as well. Have the wedding you both want and can afford. I have seen invitations that say the kids are making the invitation, "Joe, Mary and John request the honor of your presence at the marriage of X & Y" ....... it's a bit more wordy than "X and Y along with their family invite you", but again, it's up to you.

Good luck and congrats on finding love again.

right1thistime · March 2012

I don't necessarily love the invitation issued by the kids, although I've seen it. It is more informal to do that.

Seating charts are not necessary until so much later in this process. You need your RSVPs back before you can do them.

Invite your ex inlaws if you think that you would like them there, or if you think your children would be happy if they were there. ~Donna

Lisa50 · March 2012

Welcome to the board! Congratulations on your engagement. I am sorry about your loss and hope you are at complete peace as you move into your new marriage.

You can take things one step at a time. Have you set a date yet? Do you have a venue? Do you have a vision of the look and feel of the wedding and reception? Once you have those things lined up, other items such as the design and wording of the invitations, set-up of your room, and style of dinner (including seating charts) will begin to take shape.

In the meantime, take a look at a few magazines (Real Simple Weddings is one of my favorites), some websites (I love stylemepretty.com) and remember that, at the end of the day, you only need you, the groom and an officiant to get married. All the rest is gravy.

Good luck!

P.S. It's really all about the shoes!

Hawt83 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_hi-first-post-and-need-lots-of-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:aff86ae6-d6d5-49a2-b3b0-5eadccda017dPost:62ebd936-eb32-43ed-9e2c-b35d600b4328">Re: Hi, First post and need lots of help</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you all :) I think we decided how to word the invites..but now he wants to write our own vows...freaking out!! Hawt83 I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I still miss mine everyday. I did not think I would ever even think about getting married again, but hear I am. I am getting married on June 30th this year, we have been engaged since June of last year. We have a lot of the details figured out but everyone is sick of me stressing out so I started reading these posts. Some of the things I was woryring about are on here and have really helped. But some of them I am still not sure about.
Posted by KJeffs[/QUOTE]

Haha, me too....Never thought I would do this again. Funny how things work out sometimes eh??

KJeffs · March 2012

I have been reading all of the post on here with all the to dos and not to dos and what I have decided is everyone has very differend ideas on what is right and what isn't. a My invations will have my kids inviting every one to come celebrate our marrige and if that makes someone roll thrie eyes....they can decide to not come. I am pertty sure my wedding will not be proper...and I kind of like that!! That you for all your advice and help.

beth34608 · March 2012

I just wanted to add my 2 cents....I say do what YOU and your FI want. I lost my husband over 2 years ago. Congrats on finding love again. Have the wedding you guys want, and don't worry about it. Good luck, it will all work out. I have learned to take it one day at a time....

mdeidre · March 2012

Girl I plan to do all kinds of improper things and I'm not even worried about it! Kid hosted invitations aren't my thing, but since I'm not paying for yours, you can do what you want.

As for writing the vows, don't stress. You can look up samples on the internet, share a favorite poem or do like I intend and read from the Book of Ruth: "Where you go I will go. Where you dwell, I will dwell. Your people will be my people. Your God will be my God." etc. It doesn't have to be a great literary work, just something from the heart.

My loved ones haven't been onboard for wedding talk at all, long story, but it's always great to come here and see about other people's weddings and their situations and talk about my own if I want to! No one gets tired of wedding talk here!

Hi, First post and need lots of help

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