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Embarrassed

ctrenholmctrenholm
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in Plus-Sized
Hi everyone,

I have pretty much been a size 12/14 most of my adult life but I was diagnosed with PCOS a little over a year ago and I've gone up to a size 26. I'm getting married in about a month and will see family from overseas that I haven't seen in a long time. I'm starting to feel so nervous and embarrassed of being judged. I know it's my family and they should love me no matter what size I am but I can't help how I feel. Does anyone else ever feel this way or felt like this on their wedding day?
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Re: Embarrassed

  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    Absolutely.
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  • magicgirl91magicgirl91
    First Anniversary First Comment
    You are certainly not alone.  Society expects brides to be perfect...perfect bodies, skin, hair, makeup, dress, etc.  Brides come in all shapes and sizes and it would be nice to see more acceptance of that in magazines and society as a whole.  What matters most on your wedding day is you and your fiance and celebrating your love for one another.  To me, a happy bride is a beautiful bride, so focus on the exciting life ahead of you and your fiance and you will be radiant on your big day!
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  • RMcDougleRMcDougle
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_embarrassed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:84971358-48b8-4917-808a-f5021121419aPost:0098fa21-09a0-4f9b-a021-82fc4a0fdfd6">Embarrassed</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi everyone, I have pretty much been a size 12/14 most of my adult life but I was diagnosed with PCOS a little over a year ago and I've gone up to a size 26. I'm getting married in about a month and will see family from overseas that I haven't seen in a long time. I'm starting to feel so nervous and embarrassed of being judged. I know it's my family and they should love me no matter what size I am but I can't help how I feel. Does anyone else ever feel this way or felt like this on their wedding day?
    Posted by ctrenholm[/QUOTE]

    I feel for you, but remember that your fiance sees you truly as the beautiful person that you are and that's how you should see yourself too (because its true!!!). And honestly, judgement stems from a negative/insecure self-image of the judger, so that's their issue not yours.
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  • rleelee9999rleelee9999
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I know exactly how you feel. I have been on the heavy side my entire life, but within reason. About six months ago I started to gain weight... a lot of weight and found out I have hypothyroidism. Last year I moved about an hour away from my family and haven't seen them since last Christmas. Now I have my wedding dress and everybody wants pictures...

    Needless to say, I could feel bad, I could make excuses, I could blame the disease, but I know my man loves me and has supported me so I don't give a flying fig what or if anyone says about my weight. That's between my doctor and me. And Lord help my relatives if they say anything about me within earshot; my baby has a razor sharp tongue and is not afraid to use it!
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  • ellie63ellie63 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    You know what I think is neat? That we have these men that love us despite our size. That they can see through the extra weight and appreciate us for who we are. I think that's really special in this day and ate. My first husband was not like that, as soon as I started putting on weight with two babies he ridiculed me and everything else and our marriage ended in divorce after 7 years. Fast forward 19 years, I'm now 49 and I've renewed a friendship that grew into love with a man who couldn't care less about my weight, he loves me for who I am. I'm the one who struggles. And to be perfectly honest, I'm embarrassed about our wedding night. We have both chosen to wait for sex until we're married, but I'm nervous about him seeing what I really look like. I know it prob won't make a difference in how he feels about me but it's hard...
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  • CarolineE9CarolineE9
    First Comment
    I too have PCOS and over the past few months have gained 40 lbs... I was already a big girl to start out with! Lol. However, I feel this way all the time. Especially since most of my family are very small and truly believe a female can't be attractive unless she's super fit. Whenever you start to feel embarrassed, think positive thoughts about yourself. This should give your confidence a quick boost and you can rock it! The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more others will be too.
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  • Cheetah2BCheetah2B member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I gained approx 40 lbs with my son. I lost that first 18 at birth, lost another 15 due to dental issues(exposed nerve and no ins caused me to drink only water/juices and eat ice cream for ten days!)...when me and my sons daddy split, I got sooo excited bc I lost another 15, but couldnt get back to pre-pregnancy size. come to find out, I've been sneaking on "happy weight" lol. but fh didnt know me then, and says he doesn't care, he loves me and my body how we are ;)
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  • Devilzangel609Devilzangel609 member
    First Comment
    Your fiance loves you and everything about you - or else you wouldn't be getting married! Don't worry about what anyone else thinks - just enjoy your day. I know the anxiety and stress that PCOS can have on appearance - I was diagnosed almost 9 years ago - but it's not who you are it's just something you have to deal with. Once I realized that I stopped caring about what other's thought.

    Enjoy your wedding tomorrow - actually today at this point! Post picture's of how beautiful you look!
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  • gothic_fairy60gothic_fairy60 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I too have PCOS. I had always been a size 16 and felt bad enough about my appearance. Nothing I seemed to do helpe me loose weight. Dieting and exercising didnt seem to make a difference. I recently quit smoking and gained 40 lbs. I originally wanted to loose it before the wedding but quickly got discouraged. Thinking that if I couldnt do it before, why would it work now. The hardest thing was to make myself realize that my FI loves me just the way I am. Its still hard to realize some days.
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